Goths aren’t necessarily THAT scary

You must’ve met one, right? Or heard of one maybe?

Or at least seen one... at school, your local library, lurking or slinking around a space inhabited by humans... and thought, “WTH? Why all the black? What’s up with them? Are they weird? Mean?”

And that’s where it would stop. Right?

Most people would never go beyond their own preconceived notions of what is socially acceptable or strange, to go up to a person that looked different from them and just say something... like hello!

I remember finding my way into the local Hot Topic on my own or with a group of friends, buying out the black Tripp pants, corsets, band tees, and of course, anything that looked spiky and cool.

Of course, hissing at the preps was fun, but was the core of my own style?

Oddly enough, I found myself in a contrasting mix between loving the style of goth and 1950’s baby doll style.

I really loved the 1950’s. The dresses, suits, hairstyles, the way everything flowed like a cheesy sitcom! Ah! That seemed like paradise!

Though, I’m sure if you saw me in my big clunky black, spiky boots, Tripp pant wearing, choker collar sporting self saying this—-you might wanna say I was lying.

Because indubitably, and irrevocably, goths were scary, mean and should be avoided! They never had any other interests outside of the witchy, weird, Tim Burton-esqe world of Gothic phantasmagoria style quirkiness! And certainly, they wouldn’t be pedantic about how they just had written a run on sentence! Argh. Noooo. That’s not what Goths are about.

Well, I truly didn’t care if you believed me or not back then either... or did I?

You see, even if it seems like all the black, all the spikes, the chains, and the dark make up seems like an invisible brick wall in between you and that person, it really is just in your mind. Maybe, even both of our minds!

Interesting fact: I loved to laugh and smile. Even dressed in black!

Because I’m sure another misconception about us Goths/Punks is that smiling and laughing isn’t cool, right?

And also... are they mean?

Well, take a random person off the street, and a person off your block, and one from your office or place of business, and maybe even throw one of your friends and family members in the mix.

Are any of them mean?

Maybe some are, some aren’t.

Some might be wearing jeans, or yoga pants, dresses or suits. Or a fur suit. If that’s your thing! (No judgment!)

Maybe one person is mostly nice, but can be a little temperamental at times given the right circumstances.

The trouble with these type of stereotypes, is... no one is ever just clearly one thing. We are so many things.

We all have complex, different social situations that we deal with in our way, and have our own diverse and interesting understanding of interpersonal relationships and ways of communication.

And dressing a certain way doesn’t change that.

Also, at the time, I was working as a intern for Saint Charles County Emergency Management, helping with emergency weather preparations and community educational efforts. So after school, I’d change out of my Goth attire into my work uniform.

Another fact: Goths can like anything they want! Even girly stuff. Legally Blonde, my guilty pleasure movie—one I loved even downing all black, showed us that stereotypes don’t matter either! (In this film, even someone who started out as a bully can become a good friend!)

Also, there are many different types of styles for Goths: Traditional Goth, Romantic Goth, Pastel Goth, Hippie Goths, Vampire Goths, Cyber Goths, Bubble Goth, Tribal Goths, Gothic Lolita and Casual Goth. I was more of a Traditional Goth, but I did delve into the whole Vampire thing as well.

Truth is, some people don’t simply wake up and think, hmmm, now I hate wearing this and now I’m all done! It’s not always a phase. It can inspire fashion designers and other people to become the genius writers, directors and musicians we see today.

Sometimes, different roles and different opportunities are cause to change your style, but it doesn’t change anything about who you are!

I still love that Gothic style, and I’m thirty years old and mother of two wonderful sons!

I tend to go for a lighter look nowadays.

But, the Gothic spirit is still in my heart.

Also, another fact May 22 is World Goth Day! Thank you BBC 6 for appreciating the cultural significance of Goth Rock!

A really good link for some cool facts about Goths, and the origins of their early culture and misconceptions would be here:

So, next time you see a Goth or a Punk looking person, say hello!

You may surprise yourself and them—-and make a new friend!