Fairytale Smairytale

When I was little, I loved to read. From Dr. Seuss to Maurice Sendak, it’s hard to pick which bedtime story or fairy tale meant the most. I loved how Sam liked his green eggs and ham. Were just the eggs green or the ham too (yuck)? What in the world would make eggs and ham green? These questions still boggle my adult mind. What would it have been like to be Mickey as he flew thru the night kitchen? Could I ever tame the Wild Things like Max controlled the them with his scary stare? How many times did I pretend to be scared of the monster at the end of the book, only to laugh that it was Grover every time?? I even laughed at Alexander, whose day was so bad, I was reminded just how good my life was! Alexander also taught me how not to chew gum at bedtime. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read the book. If you are paying attention, you will learn how NOT to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, day. This book and countless others have adventures and lessons to learn!

I loved the princesses too. Cinderella and Aurora captured my imagination and taught me about unrealistic romance, but how, nevertheless, to dream of it. My favorite princess was Snow White. As a red head, I always wanted black hair, black as night, to be like Snow White. My mother was glad when I finished my black henna stage and I went back to red. She was surprised that I chose a hooker red at 16 just in case my blood-red lips might attract Prince Charming. Needless to say, my mother was patient as I expressed myself.

While the evil Queen scared me with her mirror and malice, Snow White’s meeting up with and living with seven dwarfs was nonstop fun. In college, I took a class that asked me to psychologically evaluate Snow White. I spent a bit of time discussing the fact of a young girl living with seven men. Snow White had a Cinderella phase having to clean up after all those men. Surprisingly, the inappropriate relationships forming didn’t raise anyone's eyebrows! Luckily, fairy tales don’t conform to modern day taboos. Well, I say luckily...any who.

Each dwarf reminded me of someone in my life, someone I loved. I dreamed about how much fun it would be to live with my dwarves. I’d tell you who each of the dwarves represented in my life but I’d have to include Dopey and I wouldn’t want to hurt my brother's feelings…oops.

I also liked how the dwarves worked in a diamond mine. Can you image, if they could make a coffin out of diamonds, how much jewelry Snow White must have had? This chick had bling!

Snow White also sang. I can sing. There’re not too many things I have complete confidence in, but that is one. I can sing and it was how she got her Prince Charming! This aspect of my life matches Snow White’s perfectly. I met my Prince in choir and yes, he is charming…and hot.

I admit there were a few years I didn’t eat apples for fear I might fall into a death sleep. Then it occurred to me that honestly, the mirror would not pick me as the fairest, so the evil Queen wouldn’t be jealous. I’m not sure beauty that causes murderous tendencies is worth having anyhow. My Prince doesn’t think of me as a princess, he thinks of me as a goddess, and well, no matter what others think, that’s more than enough for me!

Eventually Snow White grew up, and while the appeal of the fairy tale is still poignant, life is much more of an adventure. Ups and downs, I’m glad my happily ever after is every day.

I don’t have diamonds or a mirror that talks. I don’t live with seven men in the woods (that’s a lot of testosterone) and I definitely am no fatal beauty. However, I do get magical kisses every day, eat apples, especially the ones from McDonalds that come deep fried, and my life is sweet. I do wish the animals in my back yard would help me clean my house. Now that’s the ultimate fairytale!!