Classic Movie Review: 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze'

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Directed by Michael Pressman

Written by Todd W. Langan

Starring Paige Turco, David Warner, Vanilla Ice, Ernie Reyes Jr.

Release Date March 22nd, 1991

Published August 3rd, 2023

If you don't realize that Hollywood studio executives are blood sucking snakes eager to suck the life blood out of anything that appears remotely like a hit, I have just one sequel for you, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. Pumped out in less than 12 months after the original and without director David Barron, the man responsible for the charming first live action Turtles adventure, Secret of the Ooze is as nakedly commercial and mercenary as Hollywood can possibly be. I'm sure that Barron's director's chair still had his name on it when he was already being replaced by the cheaper, less experienced but very eager Michael Pressman.

Barron dodged a bullet, for sure. Had he stuck around to make a sequel to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he would have been blamed either for not giving the fans what they wanted, more Turtles, and, more than likely, he would be blamed for the film's mediocre performance in the rushed wake of making the first film and the studio bean counters urgency in making a second film in a hot, of the moment franchise. Naturally, not at all unexpectedly, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2:The Secret of the Ooze lacks for not having the steady, ingenious hand of Steve Barron guiding the sequel.

Instead, what we get is a movie that was made cheap and fast and not at all satisfyingly. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze isn't bad, but it is kind of cheap and ugly due to the nature of it being rushed into production simply to capitalize on the success of the first film. There is always going to be an icky quality to a sequel that exists purely as a way to wring a little extra cash out of an existing intellectual property. It's always going to feel like a movie that only exists as a product to be used as a flail slapped on to the moving going consumer with the sole purpose of separating people from their cash.

That is something that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, simply cannot escape. There is an accountant rather than an artist at the core of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of the Ooze, and the accountant only cares about the balance sheets. The accountant could care less if the story makes sense, if the movie contains fun and excitement for the paying audience, or even if the movie is remotely bad or good. This is an incredibly awful way to approach making movies and it taints the whole proceeding of the sequel, Secret of the Ooze.

Adding to the air of money grubbing avarice at the cold dead hear of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, is an appearance by the then relevant, zeitgeist capturing rapper Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice shows up at the peak of the second act of Secret of the Ooze and it is right at the point of his appearance where the mission creep of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise begins to become clear. Where the original live action Ninja Turtles film felt lively and fresh, Secret of the Ooze grows almost immediately stale as soon as Vanilla Ice begins rapping the worlds 'Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go.'

At this point in Secret of the Ooze I was really trying to enjoyed TMNT 2. I wanted so badly to find that giddy thrill that I had watching the first film. There is a moment early on, when the Turtles order a bunch of pizzas and interact with young Ernie Reyes Jr. where the movie feels like the first movie. There is a sense of the fun in the early scenes of Secret of the Ooze, enough that you can, momentarily, convince yourself that the filmmakers have recaptured the magic of the first film. And then... 'Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go,' kicks in and a deep, uncomfortable cringe sets in. Everything from that moment on feels desperate, forced, and disjointed.

I made a genuine effort to like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze, but the movie made my attempts impossible. The mercenary production, the lameness of the lazy choices of a director who doesn't seem to care about his work, and a series of recast cast members and voice actors, all reveal too much of the meat factory, slaughterhouse style of studio executives eager to leech profits out of a product rather than make a movie anyone might genuinely care about. There are some camp elements to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze that I do appreciate, but I really, really enjoyed the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I really wanted to have that experience again and Secret of the Ooze simply cannot recapture that magic.

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