65

Ya know how sometimes you see a trailer for a movie and you think to yourself, “wow this is going to be terrible, I can’t wait to see it”? Well that was my exact thought process when I saw the trailer for 65 starring Adam Driver. We never got around to seeing it in the theaters but now that it's on Netflix we are finally diving in. Doing any dinosaur movie after the existence of Jurassic Park is super bold but here we go, my review of 65.

So we are time and space traveling and this dude crash lands on Earth. Something that the movie didn’t think the audience was smart enough to figure out so they felt the need to type it out on the screen. The writers are out here thinking the audience might see the title 65, see dinosaurs and think we are all out here assuming this is a movie about some alien dinosaurs from another planet…

The only other survivor on this ship is a little girl that is obviously going to give this man the will to live because she reminds him of his sick daughter. A wildly predictable Pedro Pascal like plot. The little girl doesn’t speak english so this movie works within silence a lot. Now that concept is great because it gives the actors a chance to do their jobs but it would be highlighted with a better story.

Your ability to suspend disbelief will be challenged and tested so hard in this movie. And not because of the space travel. Not even because of how the dinosaurs are designed. But because Adam Driver falls out of a tree, nails himself on several thick limbs and all he does is dislocate his shoulder. Because there are 3 dinosaurs attacking this little girl, he shoots one of them and suddenly there are no more dinosaurs around. And because Adam Driver went one on one with a dinosaur and no weapons and won somehow.

Also I just really don’t understand the Adam Driver hype. I am so sorry but he is the world's okayest actor and he’s not that attractive so I genuinely do not understand the appeal.

So Adam Driver’s character's daughter is dead and we are all very sad about it. God bugs are so disgusting, especially the prehistoric kind. So sorry but I am such a little bitch. This little girl is sleeping while a big ass beetle/cockroach thing climbs into her mouth. No. Then they get entombed in this cave and he basically sends this 9 year old child spelunking. Terrible father. Seriously why wouldn’t you just continue to blast the wall from further and further in? Well at least the little girl got out.

The hilarity that the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs is literally on it's way to earth and this dude is going to die with the dinosaurs. Of course they have to fight dinosaurs together until they can escape and somehow these asteroids get less imminent because we all know that fighting dinosaurs slows down time. And of course they exit the atmosphere as the earth liquifies below them.

Honestly the movie felt like it was trying too hard. It felt half-assed, rushed and like they didn’t even really have a story to put together. It felt like a made for tv movie on the sci-fi channel. Adam Driver wants to be Pedro Pascal so bad in this movie. Look I know that there are other stories where a grumpy old man begrudgingly takes care of a child but Pascal has kind of cornered the market lately. And this one just did not work. It wasn’t terrible but it also was nowhere near good. I’d give it a very generous 5/10 at best.