The Spectator's Review: 'Kingdom Come: Deliverance'

So I've never heard of Warhorse until we started Kingdom Come: Deliverance, but I have heard of CryEngine and I definitely have a lot to say about it. As someone who has a great appreciation for graphics and game mechanics of the 90's, I was genuinely taken aback by just the home screen of this game. And I have to say that some of the other aspects, like the fight scenes and game physics, made me stop and seriously question how I rate video games and what constitutes a decent game.

Maybe I thought too hard about it, but I'm going off.

So our little story takes place in what once was Bohemia (modern day Prague) after the death of Charles VI, who ruled and was greatly loved by the people. The story begins with the events of his successor, Wenceslaus IV who, unlike his father, the people thought was a total invalid. Wenceslaus took pleasures in bathhouses and brothels alike (dude even missed his own coronation) and when his council finally got fed up with him, they decided among themselves a rational, viable course of action.

Of course they didn't; they had his half brother Sigismund arrest and imprison him while stripping him of the titles that he hadn't formally represented. Sigismund, with basically the full weight of the crown, invades Bohemia and robs and pillages the villages.

And that's where you come in. You play Henry, a young strapping lad that could definitely use a little work, but a good guy nonetheless. You begin in your hometown that falls into Sigismund's path of terror and destruction and your parents suffer a Disney-like end.

Full of fire and passion to not only avenge and bury your parents, but to also retrieve your father's stolen sword, you set out on a journey to stop Sigismund's forces from overtaking Bohemia. The rest, as they say, is history.

The Breakdown:

1. Graphics and Aesthetics

So, don't get me wrong, I liked The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion even though the graphics were from another era, but Kingdom Come gave me a run for my money. This game's graphics reminded me of the kind of sprites and polygonal shapes that I remember from Pilotwings 64. Yeah, remember that game?

I figured we had stopped using those weird sprites where the image follows you all the way around the object (look, I'm not a graphic designer, I just observe) back in the late 90's. And no, I don't meant the kind of objects where the picture is so clear and has so much depth that you almost can't tell that it's a sprite, I mean the blurry, bulbous, blocks with green and a few splashes of color that they called plants. At least they looked like what they actually were supposed to be in your inventory.

The people weren't much to look at either. I actually get a little spooked when expressionless characters try to converse with each other, especially during cut scenes where you can see close ups of their cold, dead will to live. Yeah sure, they voices would at least sound human, but they didn't flow well with the faces.

2. Music and SFX

If there was music during gameplay, I don't really remember it well. It seemed like generic medieval music just quietly going on in the background. There weren't really any strong pieces that I can put my finger on and say I really enjoyed.

The characters were kind of annoying in the sense that they had scripted responses for when you did certain normal actions (like bumping into them) I know a lot of other games do that, but for some reason in this one, it drove me a little nuts.

3. Storyline and Plot

OK, so I really liked the story progressing through this game. I feel like you really get to develop Henry's character and it even threw me in for a few surprises near the end. You do have the option of multiple responses to conversations that can affect where you go and what you do. Some of the cut-scenes are a bit infuriating but the way I see it, if a story is upsetting you in such a way that it makes you consider things, it might actually be a good story.

The side missions were also enjoyable (according to my husband, sometimes more enjoyable than the main mission) and they did have little interesting tidbits of their own.

The only thing I could NOT STAND for the love of me was that stupid monastery. The monastery that you encounter later on in the game is a part of the main mission and as far as I know; there really isn't a way around it. Because of the way day and night cycles work in the game, not to mention the ridiculous bugs that made the whole experience 10x less enjoyable, you have to time everything just right, not get in trouble and speak to the right people. I think between both my husband AND MYSELF (remember how I don't usually play video games?) we practically glitched our way out on our fourth or fifth try.

My husband is a pretty calm guy in all senses of the word. I've watched him play through things that annoy me, the person not even playing. But after three tries with that monastery, he dropped the controller in my lap and told me he was done. I didn't blame him; after one calm go-around myself, I was ready to take a baseball bat to our Xbox. It was only after collaborating (I played through the boring bits and he took over when it was time to get out) did we literally have to fight through the games bugs to complete the mission.

Please please please, burn that god-forsaken hellhole to the ground.

4. Game Mechanics

At this point I'm sure you have an idea about how this is going to go if you've already played through this game. The game handles on a moderate level for me. I honestly think the fight sequences are way too long. Yes, that's probably how you would fight in real life, but it took almost two minutes to bring some people down. The weapons and items you could use do degrade after a time and must be fixed or replaced and using them felt almost as useless as using your fists.

There were day and night cycles that you could speed forward but the game would do this strange thing where as it got to the hour you wanted to stop on, the clock would just start moving slower and slower which didn't make any sense to me because that would be in addition to the loading screen.

You also had hunger and rest bars that needed to be tended to time after time, your food is time sensitive by the way. I liked and hated this feature but it did give the game a more realistic feel. You could also fast travel and run into bandits on the way to your destination which is more likely than not to happen on the road during that era.

Some of the physics didn't work well. You could "walk" onto walls that you weren't supposed to be on and running was odd because you always seemed to run slower than the people chasing you. Once one of them struck you, you had an 80 percent of dying within the next ten seconds. Sometimes things that couldn't get out of the way would block you or people that were supposed to speak to you glitched out (looking at you again monastery).

I'm not sure how many times the game crashed on us and it was always so disorienting because it would happen so randomly and suddenly. The bugs were rage-inspiring at times because we would have to reset the game and do all the missions or things that led up to that event over again, and that's frustrating.

Honestly, if you really like medieval stories and you don't mind being really patient and possibly doing entire missions over again, you might actually like this game. There were some calming moments and things that got me really into it but I really only liked the story.

And if I haven't already said it, burn that monastery down to the ground and don't look back.