Pixelated Romance

Roleplaying video games are highly popular and successful. Each title has elements in common, such as a well-driven story, interesting characters that have depth, smooth game play, and sex and romance. Yes, sex too.

From Geralt’s adventures across The Witcher trilogy to Commander Shepard’s partners in Mass Effect, romance and sex have been integrated into plot lines and have added a much needed break from combat and main quest completions. Often the romance side quests coincide with the main quest, branching into different endings for the player, making for major replayablity.

It helps, however, if the romance and sex are done well. Glitching textures, awkward mechanics, and trashed physics can make a scene go from beautiful to laughable in no time flat. Skipping over a romance relationship entirely, like in Skyrim’s marriage system, leaves something to be desired, but it makes room for modders to fill in the gaps the developing company left out.

(Honestly, who just slaps on a necklace and asks someone single to marry them without getting to know them first? But thanks for saying yes, Vilkas.)

Why is romance and sex desired in a game? For one, it makes the game play more realistic. If someone is going to control the main character (whether it was created by the player or not) then it only makes sense the character has friendships, lovers, marriages, separations, and sex, as this is life. Two, it adds entertainment, giving the player some time to get away from combat and puzzle solving. And three, well, who hasn’t fantasized about Geralt of Rivia with Triss Merigold and Yennefer of Vengerberg? (If anyone has ever wondered, they can find out in The Witcher 3.) After all, fantasizing is what makes life interesting.

While any game labeled AO (Adults Only, as stated by the ESRB rating system) are rare finds (gaming platforms such as Steam do not allow explicit adult content), as most games are simply rated M (Mature 17+). What’s the difference between the two ratings? AO games are not sold in stores, like Best Buy or GameStop, while MA games are.

To date there are about thirty or so games listed as AO on the ESRB’s website, dating all the way back to the early 90s--a drop in a bucket compared to the thousand MA rated games spanning the past two decades.

It doesn’t matter much if a game doesn’t include sex at all, because modders add it in. It takes a lot of coding and time to mod an open-world game like Skyrim, but if one is dedicated, the world of Tamriel really opens up, and suddenly Aela the Huntress has more to offer than her bow and arrows. Modding on this kind of scale is reserved for PC gamers, as consoles don't have the capability yet, but it doesn't stop people from trying.

When games leave out personal and intimate relationships, it just feels lacking. With so many NPCs in any roleplaying game, it seems a waste the main player character can’t interact with any of them on a personal level.

And games are personal, the main character becoming almost an extension of the self or a close friend. If I were Geralt, who would I choose, Yennefer or Triss? What kind of relationship do I want with either of them, friendship or something more?

My first experience with romance in games began with Metal Gear Solid, made for the first Sony Playstation. No sex, but there was plenty of innuendo and Snake can get the girl at the very end (if the player makes the right decisions, that is). From that point on, games that featured relationships became my favorite.

Experiencing these virtual relationships on my screen, I felt safe. I could make decisions I wouldn’t make in my actual life and see the consequences. If I chose one line of dialogue that made a character dislike me, I could reload and try again. I couldn’t ‘try again’ with conversations in life so these interactions in-game helped me develop better communication skills.

I developed more empathy and a better understanding of emotions when I played Mass Effect. I learned respect and politeness, getting educated on who these characters were as though they were actual people. Interacting with characters from different cultures and backgrounds is nothing short of incredible.

While the intimate scenes could get a little graphic in some games, they weren't shocking or particularly groundbreaking. They’ve made me fascinated with my character’s intimate relationships. I couldn’t decide if I wanted my Druid to romance Gale or Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3 or if Morrigan really was the choice for me in Dragon Age: Origins. Each character has their own distinct personality and finding one that suits my character is important. In a way, it's almost like choosing someone to date.

Ultimately, having romance and intimacy in games is fun. Fantasy is important just as much as reality and we all need an escape. But maybe keep quiet about your second home in Diamond City where your girlfriend Piper lives. People may not understand. But I do. Paladin Danse and I live in a quaint home I built at Nordhagen Beach.