I'm Not Judging You (I Just Want To RP)

I've been playing RPGs for a pretty long time, now, and I like to think I've gotten pretty good at them. Whether it's gathered round a table with dice, or dressed up in costume and staying in-character for a LARP, I've played all kinds of systems and genres, styles and kinds. One thing every game has had in common, though, is that there's never enough time at the table or venue to really fit all the story in. As such, I like to reach out to my fellow players to put together downtime scenes where we can have conversations, work out plots, and grow the story beyond what a single session a week would allow.

A lot of the time this really helps add flavor to the game, and it lets me spend more time with other players doing an activity we can bond over. Sometimes, though, players can get self-conscious over this activity. It can even get bad enough that they're paralyzed by indecision, and end up going completely silent.

Which is why I wanted to take a moment to send a message to everyone out there. No one is judging you. No one is holding you to an invisible standard. We're here to have fun, and if we didn't want to RP with you then we wouldn't have extended the invitation in the first place.

Your Best is Probably Good Enough

I want to list some of my bona fides here, so that readers understand where I'm coming from. Because in addition to being an avid fan of RPGs for many years, I'm also a writer and designer for these games. Often I'll have designed content or written stories for the game that we're all playing, such as my segments in Bastards of Golarion or my Pathfinder Tale The Irregulars. And even when my name doesn't appear on the credits list for a particular RPG, I've written novels like the sci-fi noir thriller Old Soldiers, as well as short stories like my ongoing series The Silver Raven Chronicles.

And that can, it seems, make a lot of people I share a table with question themselves. Especially when it comes to a text-based arena.

I say "it seems" because it never once occurred to me that the people I was running downtime scenes with would feel like they couldn't hold up their end of a scene. Quite the contrary, I always tried to give them as rich a scene as possible in order to get them involved and to try to make sure they were enjoying the game. When folks stopped replying I at first assumed that real life had come up, as it so often does when it comes to our games. Then I figured that I'd done something wrong, either in terms of scene composition, character actions, or just not being engaging enough. So I tried to do even better the next time, and to show the next partner I ran a scene with that I was bringing my A game. Which just became a cycle that the folks I was running scenes with felt intimidated (or worse, like I was trying to show off), and simply ghosted the scene, which just made me try harder next time.

It wasn't until a friend of mine tapped me on the shoulder and gave me a glance behind the scenes, though, that the light bulb went off in my head.

When the folks I was trying to run these scenes with felt they couldn't match what I was laying down textually, they had to talk to someone about it. So they talked with a friend of mine (let's call her Emily) who I'd been playing with for several years. Emily tried to reassure them that it was fine, that I wasn't trying to overwhelm them, nor did I expect them to bring New York Times bestseller prose to what was, ultimately, just a fun little activity. But time after time folks who'd been really eager for more RP ended up too gun shy to get involved in scenes with me. And talking to me about it was equally out of the question, so all I heard was silence.

After this had happened several times across different games and venues, I was at the end of my rope. I figured that this was a sign folks just didn't enjoy playing with me, and that whatever protestations they made when I asked they were just tolerating me at the table. So I'd change up characters and archetypes, trying to find something that could sink into a niche... but it never felt like it was going anywhere. It wasn't until Emily saw me struggling that she took me aside and explained what was going on.

While it was sort of a boost to my ego, and a relief that I hadn't done something to offend people I enjoyed playing with, it was still vexing. Because no matter what it says on my resume, at the end of the day I really just want to tell stories with people.

So, that's the moral of this week's Table Talk update. Just because someone you share a game with is a designer, a writer, or another kind of creative professional, that doesn't mean they're throwing down a challenge to you. Most of the time we're just looking to run a scene, create some fantasy drama, and wile away the hours with a mutually enjoyable activity.

And if someone does start demanding you meet impossible levels of expectation, or telling you to git gud? Well, those are the people you should feel perfectly fine not playing with.

Tune In Next Time on Table Talk!

While this story might be a little on the self-aggrandizing side, I figured that it still had a core of a good lesson... and that's what Table Talk is all about! If you'd like more gaming tales, I highly recommend checking out the rest of my full Vocal archive! And if you'd like to read some of those stories I talked about above, check out some of the following!

- Field Test: When Inquisitor Hargrave comes to the world of New Canaan just ahead of an ork rok she claimed she had a weapon that would wipe the greenskins out. Rather than looking to the skies, though, the real weapon was by her side all along.

- Waking Dogs- A World Eaters Tale: For my fans of Warhammer 40K, this is a story I felt compelled to tell about one of the infamous World Eaters remembering who he once was. It was also dramatized by the channel A Vox in The Void, for those who enjoy audio renditions.

- Old Soldiers: It's been years since the end of the Hyperion Conflict, and Pollux has been trying to live a normal life since then. Or as normal as one can be when they're a Myrmidon. But when an assassination attempt fails, Pollux has to re-activate his old unit and get to the bottom of it, uncovering secrets buried for decades.

- Crier's Knife: My sword and sorcery novel, we follow Dirk Crier as he sets out to collect his wayward cousin from parts unknown. Dark tidings lie ahead, but those who stand in his way will learn why the mountain folk say only a dead man crosses a Crier.

- Marked Territory and Painted Cats: Join Leo as he gets roped into other people's problems on the mean streets of NYC. A Maine coon with a bad habit of getting curious, explore the world of street beasts in these nasty little noir mysteries!

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