US PRESIDENTS FUN FACTS

George Washington didn't actually wear dentures made of wood as most people believe his dentures were made of ivory bone human teeth and animal teeth and they were said to be strong enough to crush other teeth.

John Adams initially wanted the president of the United States to be called His Highness

protector of their Liberties this was shot down because most senators and representatives thought the title was too grandiose and a wimpy unimposing man like John Adams wouldn't suitably fit such a title Thomas Jefferson offered to sell his own personal library to the Library of Congress after they had theirs burned down by the British during the war of 1812, only about 97 percent of Jefferson's books were purchased as the remaining three were too offensively pornographic for preservation James Madison was less than five feet tall and weighed less than 100 pounds somehow he set the all-time bench press record of any president that has been in office at 400 pounds unassisted James Monroe was the first president to run unopposed and won the election without even having to campaign his political opponents all dropped out before the race began claiming that guy just smells really weird John Quincy Adams loved to Skinny Dip and one morning his clothes were confiscated by a reporter who only gave them back after he agreed to do an interview the reporter noted in his article president Quincy Adams is hung like a horse and tastes like a stallion Andrew Jackson once killed a man in a duel and swore until his deathbed that the man in question was actually him time traveling from the future he was quoted on his deathbed as saying don't go to Disneyland on April 10 2030. some real bad is going to happen Martin Van Buren was the first president to be born in America historians are still perplexed to this day how he didn't end up morbidly obese William Henry Harrison gave a nearly two-hour long inauguration speech during a snowstorm which caused him to develop pneumonia resulting in his death only a month after taking up a role as the president no one particularly cared John Tyler had the nickname baby cakes Thai boy because of his particularly effeminate looks and demeanor it's up for debate on whether or not he sold sexual favors for money but his presidential addresses were often flirtatious and a little too suspiciously gay James K Polk oversaw building the Washington Monument at first he called it the greatest achievement of his term but grew a strong distaste for it after continually explaining to everyone that it wasn't meant to symbolize Washington's penis Zachary Taylor owned a horse named old Whitey who was even more famous than he was for its service in the Mexican-American War tourists of the White House were often confused if old Whitey referred to the horse or President Taylor Millard Fillmore was an avid pervert having married his former school teacher and shown up to State of the Union addresses occasionally adorning a custom-made fur suit Fillmore claimed he had a different fur suit for every occasion but sources say that no man in America during that time could possibly have that much money not even the President Franklin Pierce had a severe addiction to Pringles canned potato crisps while suffering physical withdrawal during a Gala at the White House Pierce screamed across the ballroom once you pop the fun don't stop before vomiting on several dancers James Buchanan was the only unmarried president although he was engaged in his youth Buchanan called it off after he finally saved up enough money to buy a PlayStation he regularly mentioned never regretting this decision Abraham Lincoln doesn't have much written about him in history books but historians Proclaim he may or may not have been the president at one point and was likely seen in public wearing a hat Andrew Johnson actually wasn't a human being but was a dog trained to bark whenever someone said the word president most people haven't looked closely enough at the facts to notice this Ulysses S Grant's middle initial stands for stands for so whenever people would ask him what the s in his name stood for he would reply exactly Rutherford B Hayes was the first president to have a telephone in the White House Hayes himself wasn't aware of this fact leading to many disappointed telemarketers James A Garfield proposed he would personally pimp slap anyone who named a fat orange cat after him Jim Davis has snipers planted around his home 24 7 in case anyone ever figures out how to resurrect the dead Chester A Arthur remodeled the entire White House and sold 24 wagon loads of presidential memorabilia to pay for it including a pair of Lincoln's pants one of John Quincy Adams hats and John Tyler's highest RPM dildo Grover Cleveland was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms Benjamin Harrison was the first president to hire a female staff member a move or still feeling the horrifying repercussions of today Grover Cleveland was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms William McKinley's stare was rumored to be able to kill a person at a hundred yards a claim McKinley himself regularly boasted about kindly also had an intense love for his wife as Spectators often noted he could never take his eyes off her Theodore Roosevelt had more testosterone and is left testicle than any other president combined because all of their testosterone was stored in Roosevelt's right testicle William Howard Taft was fat and old and probably sucked a lot of dick Woodrow Wilson's favorite pastime was sitting in silence one of his presidential aides once sneezed while monitoring him and Wilson yelled at him because he feared having a heart attack from being over stimulated Warren G Harding's favorite noise was this his second favorite noise was ocean

waves Calvin Coolidge usually went by his middle name Calvin in public his full legal name was Calvin cool Calvin salvage calving Coolidge Herbert Hoover really sucked as a president thanks to his power Vortex suction and wind tunnel allergen block technology he also really up handling the Great Depression Franklin D Roosevelt faked having polio so people would make him the president out of pity and push his wheelchair around everywhere when his wife had to change out his fecal matter collection bag he would often mutter yeah that's right play with my you Harry S Truman was actually clean shaven from head to toe and wore an extensive collection of wigs and fake glued on body hair for all public appearances when asked how he handled that while being president he only ever replied I'm so very cold Dwight D Eisenhower was a five-star general for his service in both world wars and was quickly promoted to 500 Star General once he became President Eisenhower's only regret in life was not placing in the top 100 player rankings for Rocket League because that would have earned him his 5 million Star General promotion John F Kennedy loved parades and tried to call his favorite parades absolutely mind-blowing Lyndon B Johnson DJ'd by the name of Dr. LB Jizz respect his shows were immensely unpopular and he only made about 70 dollars in ticket sales Richard Nixon once sweated so hard during an interview that he collapsed from dehydration on that same day an entire wall of the White House needed to be rebuilt from the Kool-Aid Man rushing to the president's rescue Gerald Ford can't spell his own name and often signs documents as Rickleton nobody has ever been able to identify where President Ford thought of this name and when asked he just replies don't you recognize me it's me Rickleton Jimmy Carter often Retreats into his pants like a sleeping bag when threatened or surprised during a televised debate Carter once hid himself in response to a car alarm going off and it took the moderator 20 minutes to convince him it was okay to come out Ronald Reagan doesn't even remember being president because he's dead George Bush Senior still thinks the sun revolves around the earth and plans to visit the sun in 2040 to prove his theory right accompanying him will be his dog Mr. Magic Brush and a bag of candy corn labeled emergency rations Bill Clinton once an intern in the Oval Office and for some stupid reason people got all mad about it once all was said and done everyone had a big laugh and anyone who got grumpy that a dude plowed a chick at work remembered they have better to do George W bush begged his dad to go with him on his mission to the Sun but George Bush Senior famously replied you're the son I have here on Earth but the Sun up in space is still mine for the taking Barack Obama is black no I'm serious it's true look it up Donald Trump starred in numerous movies including Home Alone 2 Zoolander The Avengers Infinity war and Disney and Pixar's anal disaster and finally as of this video Joe Biden hasn't served as president long enough to determine whether he's actually real or just an elaborate hologram program to pacify the American people while the rest of the government desperately scrambled to find the real president 57-year-old Walter McIntosh of Fuller's earth Arizona if you're watching this Walter it's time to come into work.