Suggestions for Attending a Funeral

The day will come if it hasn't already when you will have to say farewell to a loved one, a friend, or someone in your life. This day will come to us all and we will all feel the pangs of grief as we say our final goodbyes. It is not easy, but it is something that we all must go through.

In our home, that day comes every day as my husband has been in the funeral business for 24 years and has seen many ways people grieve. Wives, girlfriends, children, parents, friends, acquaintances, and strangers all have different ways of expressing their emotions.

As our lives have become more present and instant on social media and internet platforms, ways of getting attention have evolved and changed over the years. People feel their importance by how many likes they get on any given platform. Funerals are no different how we act, dress, or grieve are all ways we can get attention.

As my husband reminds me not all funerals are sad and morose many are a celebration of life with people laughing and remembering the person laid before them. Some people have a hard time letting go even till the very end and the definition of weeping and wailing comes to mind.

In a person's time of mourning, we should remember that this time is not about us but about the person that has passed on, and the people that are affected the most by this person's passing. A funeral is a time for us to say goodbye to a friend or loved one, or in some instances help someone in our life to say goodbye. Maybe we didn't know this person, but we are there for your friend or loved one.

Cemeteries are full of headstones, grass, and dirt, and after it rains it can be muddy and slippery. If you have a pair of shoes that are sexy and amazing to wear for a night out on the town, I guarantee you they are not for a cemetery. Wear shoes that have nice wide heels or even wear flats. Those sexy stilettos will sink in the ground, and you'll look silly stepping your way around headstones sinking every step. And picking up that cute guy with those sexy shoes at a cemetery shouldn't be the objective.

Cemeteries can also be windy. You are standing most of the time in a field... with lines of headstones with nothing to block the breeze blowing up your short little black dress and showing what you have or don't have underneath it. Be discreet and wear something that is modest and sensible a funeral is not a time to show off your legs or your thong.

A funeral usually starts at a church or the funeral home with services at the building and then moving to the cemetery. As the funeral moves from the building the cars will line up and follow the hearse to the cemetery. Don't forget to turn on your headlights as you follow, this line of cars is called a procession. If you and a buddy are going fishing, horseback riding, moving, or anything involving a trailer bringing your bass boat, horse trailer with horses, or trailer of any kind to save you time in your day bringing it with you into the procession is not appropriate.

Fighting, drinking alcohol, or smoking pot is probably not the best way to show respect for the family of a deceased person. Any hard feelings you might have for a person at the funeral should be kept to yourself till after the funeral. The police or an ambulance at the funeral home or cemetery does not look good and does not help the family.

Funerals are hard saying goodbye to a father, mother, wife, or husband is not something we want to do. But saying goodbye while the girlfriend or boyfriend is there is definitely not easy. If you have been the unfortunate one to be the other person in someone's married life your grieving is not center field. Wait till after everything has happened and everyone is gone to visit the grave to say goodbye. Your relationship was in the background your grieving should be too. This time is for the spouse and children, not you.

A funeral is a daily event it happens, and most people do not think of this side of life often. It is not a time for flirtations, attention-grabbing, or theatrics. It is a time of retrospection, contemplation, and love for those grieving. Be modest in your dress and actions and respectful of those saying goodbye.

This is a time the lend your presence not your voice to the grieving of those closest to the deceased. Use this time to ponder your loved ones who have passed or the person whose funeral you are at find peace in their lives and joy in that you had them in your life.