Stop Thinking About It!

This knowledge is actually more common than you’d think! The issue is that many of us don’t realize it soon enough and others go through a lifetime without ever figuring it out! So, what is it?! Stay with me and let me guide you to this “uncommon knowledge” that will save you from many heartaches, stress, sadness, and any negative thing that could head your way.

Ouch! We’ve all been there. Think of a time you had a paper cut, or perhaps you’ve been one of the unlucky ones to break a bone. What does it cause as soon as that memory comes? Makes you cringe right? That’s because you react to the experience of that painful moment. The moment when you felt your skin start to rip and the paper slicing right through. For being a delicate material, paper sure causes quite the painful cut. Those tiny cuts burn a lot too! If it was your bone you broke, remember exactly what you were doing when it happened. Now think of how that part of your body felt as soon as you heard that bone snap. It’s probably not a pleasant memory, right? What I’m referring to here are injuries that are physical which eventually end up healing. However, they cause your brain to register that pain, so in reality every time it comes to mind, you’re re-living it as if it had just happened, creating the same sensation it caused at that exact moment. So, every time you talk about it or think about it you probably even hold that part of your body as if it was happening again.

If that didn’t quite get your brain to re-live a memory let’s try this one! One of my favorite ones involves scent. The smell of an apple and cinnamon combined with that hot oven smell for example, Thanksgiving. The smell of pinecone and nutmeg are smells from Christmas, right? So now that you get the idea, close your eyes and think of a scent that channels you to a specific memory. Let your mind go and think about how it makes you feel. What emotions are you having? Maybe it’s your first day of school and you remember the smell of your classroom. Or perhaps you smell grandma’s perfume as she’s hugging you at that family reunion. Let’s take it a step further. Think of a scent that brings you a bad memory. Maybe that ex that made you feel like crap, or perhaps that job that made you want to reevaluate your career. Close your eyes and remember that specific smell. Feel your emotions and capture how they’re making you feel. If I’m not mistaken, you’re having a negative reaction to it. Maybe you’re even getting sweaty palms and your heart is raising because those moments you’re re-living are not pleasant and perhaps painful.

You see, throughout the years I’ve learned that as we live through experiences, we capture those memories with our senses. In fact, we register them to the point that having access to them is only a matter of tapping into that sense. Pretty neat if it’s something positive that makes you feel good, right?! But what if it’s something that makes you sad, or angry, or even something that makes you break down? A breakup, the loss of a loved one, a fight you had with someone, or an event that scared you badly. Bringing back memories can in fact be really positive or it can take you to dark places that will trigger a chain of negative emotions that will spiral into a bad day or even a bad week. To some, it may even take years to get out of. You’re probably thinking, “years?! What are you talking about, there’s no way!” Oh, trust me! I’ve seen it happen, I’ve lived some and I can tell you that as crazy and bad as it sounds, it’s very true.

So, let me get into why it can be a chain reaction that can be hard to get out of. Imagine you wake up one morning and start the day with a bad memory. It’s going to bring your mood down, perhaps upset you or even cause some sort of anger. This memory is causing you to relive those moments as if they were happening now. Physically you’re not at that moment, but your brain registered the feeling when it happened, so reliving them in your head will cause your body to feel the way you felt at that exact time. It could be a year or five years since it happened, but you will react the same way. This will affect your mood instantly. You’ll think of more sad/negative things and little by little the day that was meant to be a good one, is now a bad one if that memory isn’t pushed aside.

How do I know this? In 2013, I began a relationship with the biggest mistake of my life. Throughout the transit of 2 years, I lived many horrendous moments that my brain registered. These memories were attached to all my senses. Years after I was out of that relationship, I would still be triggered by it and thinking about the time I spent with this person would cause a chain reaction of fear, sadness, anger, disgust, and disappointment. Very negative things I would say. This happened constantly and it was really bringing me down. At times, I felt like a cloud would just follow me around with nothing but negativity. How could I be out of that relationship and still feel trapped in it?! Well, it wasn’t until I instructed myself and read self-help books and began to care for my inner self that I discovered the power of reliving a memory. Little by little I began to stay away from foods, music, cologne, and even places that would cause me to tap into those ugly memories. It took a while, but I finally did it! That person as well as that nasty pain I felt became nothing but a faded echo that is no longer relevant. I don’t want to provide you with only a negative example of this, here is a great memory that causes quite the opposite of that relationship. Last year one of my good friends and I went sky diving! It was summer, the weather was perfect, and the sky was as clear as could be. I remember the smell of the equipment they put on us, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach as the plane was taking off, and the sound of wind as I was free falling. Just writing about this, fills me with excitement and a rush of adrenaline. Every time I see aerial shots on tv or my Instagram, all my senses take me back to that morning on August 16th. I remember how amazing it felt to freefall and the view of earth from a different perspective. This memory, triggers nothing but good things! Great company, a new experience, the food I had after, and the adrenaline my body felt.

Memories are beautiful! Full of past events we have lived but, can be a double edge sword that if not handled carefully can be painfully full of darkness. This is the knowledge I offer to you. As I mentioned earlier it’s nothing you didn’t already know, perhaps something you never really gave much thought. If you ever get into a negative memory of a person, situation, or feeling, simply stop it! Stop what you’re doing and immediately move on from it. Don’t allow yourself to live an undesirable moment all over again. Instead, dedicate that moment to a positive memory that brings joy, positivity and a smile to share with the world.