PINKY AND THE BRAIN ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY VOCAL MEDIA ACCOUNT

PINKY AND THE BRAIN ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY VOCAL MEDIA ACCOUNT, AND APPARENTLY, THEY'RE WORKING OVERTIME!

Well, well, well.

Look who's back.

Actually, let me correct that.

LOOK WHO NEVER LEFT!

Y'all, I don't know whether I should be irritated, impressed, or send these people a damn Christmas card. Because what started as one suspicious comment underneath one of my Vocal Media stories has apparently turned into a full-time employment opportunity for somebody.

And when I say full-time, I mean somebody is WORKING.

They're not just leaving the same suspicious message underneath one story anymore. Oh, no. Apparently, that wasn't enough.

Now they're going through my STORIES.

ALL OF THEM.

One by one.

Opening my articles, finding my comment sections, and dropping that same tired-ass message like they're getting paid by the copy and paste.

I'M SCREAMING!

Pinky and the Brain have officially entered their world domination era, except apparently, the world they're trying to conquer is my little corner of Vocal Media.

And baby, I have to ask:

WHO HIRED Y'ALL?

Because this is getting ridiculous.

Apparently, My Portfolio Is Your New Workplace.

Let me explain what's happening.

Initially, I received a comment from an account claiming to represent Vocal Media support. The message said my account had been flagged for suspicious activity and that I needed to complete some sort of verification process through an outside link.

Naturally, I questioned it.

I looked at the account. I looked at the message. I looked at the link.

And I noticed something interesting.

The account displayed a creation date of November 2026.

Now, we're already IN November 2026!

So somebody whose account apparently just showed up this month is attempting to convince me that they represent the platform I've been using since 2017?

Baby, please.

I wrote about the experience.

I took screenshots.

I warned other writers.

And I thought that would be the end of it.

WRONG!

Apparently, my article didn't discourage anybody.

If anything, somebody decided to increase production.

Because now they're visiting my other stories and leaving the exact same message.

Let me get this straight.

You didn't get my attention the first time.

You didn't get my attention the second time.

You didn't get my attention the third time.

So your brilliant next move was to visit every other story I've published?

That's your strategy?

That's the plan?

That's what we came up with at the morning meeting?

Somebody needs to call HR because this operation has gone completely off the rails.

Baby, You're Building My Traffic!

Now, here's where this situation gets particularly entertaining.

Y'all keep talking about wanting my attention, but what you're actually doing is sending people to my portfolio.

Every story you visit is another opportunity for somebody to discover my writing.

Every time you leave a comment, you're adding activity to my page.

And every time somebody sees your suspicious little message and wonders what the hell is happening, they have another reason to look at the article.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I'M A WRITER!

I WANT PEOPLE VISITING MY STORIES!

I WANT PEOPLE READING MY ARTICLES!

I WANT MY PORTFOLIO GETTING ATTENTION!

And here you are, making the rounds like an unpaid promotional team.

I should probably give you a staff meeting.

Maybe some matching T-shirts.

A little name tag.

Something that says:

OFFICIAL UNAUTHORIZED PROMOTIONAL DEPARTMENT — DAKOTA DENISE, VOCAL MEDIA.

Because if you're going to spend your Saturday visiting all my stories, I might as well acknowledge the dedication.

I appreciate the hustle.

I appreciate the commitment.

I appreciate the fact that apparently, you have nothing better to do than tour my writing portfolio.

And the funniest part?

YOU'RE NOT BOTHERING ME!

I'm over here watching this unfold like somebody handed me front-row tickets to the most ridiculous performance on the internet.

Are You Mad Because I Wrote About You?

Now, I have a theory.

Maybe somebody wasn't particularly thrilled that I took the original comment, wrote an article about it, and published my experience.

Maybe somebody thought I would quietly remove the comment, get nervous, click the link, and move along.

Instead, I picked up my imaginary microphone and started telling other writers what happened.

And now the comments are multiplying.

I can't say whether the repeated activity is connected to my article, but the timing certainly makes for an interesting little plot twist.

Because why are we suddenly touring my entire portfolio?

Did somebody send out a memo?

Did the department have an emergency meeting?

Was there a conversation that went something like this?

"Listen, Dakota wrote about us. We need to do something."

"Well, what do you suggest?"

"Let's go comment on every story."

"BRILLIANT!"

I can see it now.

Pinky says, "Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?"

And Brain says, "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over Dakota Denise's Vocal Media account!"

Except there's one little problem.

I'M NOT HANDING IT OVER!

I Have Stories Older Than Your Little Operation.

Here's something else I want to point out.

I have spent years building my presence on Vocal Media.

There are stories in my portfolio covering different subjects, different experiences, different ideas, and different parts of my imagination.

I didn't create all those articles for somebody to use my comment sections as a delivery service for suspicious links.

I came here to write.

And I intend to keep writing.

You can visit every article I've published.

You can scroll through my portfolio.

You can open every story and stare at every paragraph if that's what makes your Saturday exciting.

But you're not getting my login information.

You're not getting my password.

You're not getting access to my account.

And you're certainly not going to convince me that a stranger leaving comments underneath my work is an official security notification.

If Vocal Media needs to contact me, it has official ways to do that.

I don't need a mysterious account playing telephone in my comment section.

And I certainly don't need to click a shortened link to find out whether my account is in trouble.

Nice try, though.

To My Fellow Writers: Watch Your Comment Sections.

Now, jokes aside, I want other Vocal Media writers to pay attention.

If you're seeing messages claiming your account has been flagged, restricted, or requires verification through an unfamiliar link, don't automatically believe them.

Don't click suspicious links.

Don't provide your password.

Don't enter your account information into a website you haven't independently verified.

Go directly to Vocal Media through its official website and contact support.

Take screenshots.

Report suspicious accounts and comments.

And if somebody starts leaving identical messages underneath multiple stories, document that activity too.

Because our portfolios are important.

Some of us have been writing for years. Some are just getting started. Some are building toward bigger opportunities.

Nobody should have to worry about losing access to their work because somebody decided to impersonate a platform's support team.

We have enough trouble trying to get readers to click on our stories without having to compete with somebody's suspicious little verification campaign.

And speaking of readers...

I would like to welcome everybody who has visited my page because of this situation.

Come on in!

Read something!

Look around!

I have more than one story over here.

Just don't click the suspicious links.

Anyway, Pinky, What's the Plan for Tomorrow?

At this point, I have to wonder how long this little operation intends to continue.

Are we doing this all weekend?

Are you going to visit every story I've ever published?

Are you going to work your way through my entire portfolio until you've memorized my biography?

Because, baby, I have articles.

LOTS OF THEM.

You might want to pack a lunch.

Bring a charger.

Maybe get comfortable.

Apparently, you've made yourself right at home.

But here's the thing.

I'm not scared.

I'm not panicking.

I'm not running around trying to figure out which button to press because some stranger told me my account was flagged.

I'm watching.

I'm documenting.

I'm reporting the suspicious activity.

And I'm still writing.

You know what else?

I'm going to keep publishing.

Because that's what I came here to do in the first place.

I didn't sign up for Vocal Media to become somebody's internet security experiment.

I came here to tell stories.

And apparently, somebody decided to become one.

So, to my mysterious visitors, thank you for the attention. Thank you for the repeat visits. Thank you for reminding me that apparently my comment section has become a very popular destination.

I hope everybody enjoys the tour.

Just remember, you're visiting MY portfolio.

You don't own the damn property.

And if you keep leaving those comments, at least understand that you're not accomplishing what you came here to accomplish.

You're giving me another reason to talk about you.

You're giving other writers a reason to be cautious.

And you're giving my readers something to laugh about.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an actual writing career to work on.

Pinky and the Brain can continue their little world domination experiment somewhere else.

I'm keeping my account. I'm keeping my stories. And I'm keeping my Saturday.

Bitch, you better find another portfolio to tour.

— Dakota Denise | Vocal Media