Having Triggers and living with someone with triggers from severe trauma.

How to handle being around people with triggers from severe trauma from life when you have your own triggers. If you read my other articles you have an insight of who I am and that I come from a traumatized background. I have been taught and I have learned throughout the years what my triggers are and what tools I have to use when the triggers happen, and I have come to a point where my life is balanced. Now that doesn’t mean triggers magically disappear, they are still there, I have just learned to deal with them when it happens and people around me won’t see the reactions from me. Now having to deal with triggers is not the easiest when you live with someone who has experienced severe trauma and never been taught the tools to handle their triggers. Now it’s not easy as every conversation can be a trigger for the person, so what do you do when they blow up on you? Well to not get triggered myself I start taking a deep breath and I tell myself it will be okay because at the end of the day you didn’t do anything wrong and this is their trigger from words relating to their past trauma.

What I learned is to not be quiet when they explode because they still need to hear what you are saying and you have to explain to the person from what point of view you are coming from and also let them no that you mean no harm with a basic question or conversation, once that is said they usually go on a rampage of saying sorry and saying why they react the way they do and even in their stressful moment handling their trigger, a lot of words may be said and it feels it’s towards you but if you are listening to them they are talking about their own trauma their experiences.

So it’s important to let them know you love and care for them and let them know they are safe and that the way people have treated them is wrong and not right and let them know that not everyone is like that, example taking advantage off. There are a lot of people out there who care and not out to hurt them. End of the day we should only rely on ourselves and if someone pitches in great, if not who cares with that mindset you get less disappointments and you appreciate people around you more. Now their stress level is still skyrocketing so what can you do to help them bring it down? What I learned sometimes is good to bring up something they enjoy or something they look forward to as a distraction from their own negative energy and thoughts they have.

It’s a challenge, it's not easy but it works with a lot of patients and just knowing you are not alone. There are millions around the world sadly dealing with triggers from trauma. But we can and we will conquer it and we won’t let the trigger run our lives. Remember in every negative there is a positive. And if you get upset at someone take a deep breath and ask yourself what was it they said and try thinking and asking yourself why they said what they said. Now you may have blown up at someone who has triggered themselves. You also have to remind yourself you have broken free from the bad and you are in God's hands now and you have the power who you let into your heart or home, and ask yourself why are they with me/ you, why do they care? My answer is simple because we love you for being you and that doesnt mean those words are out to hurt you. I/ we can conquer this, let's stay strong together, you are not alone. There is always a light end of the tunnel.