Avoiding those 'Red Flags'

Introduction:

We all want to meet that special someone in our life, the soulmate who makes us breakfast in bed and the man that buys our lady products when it's our time of the month.

Though not every man is sunshine and rainbows, we all know this. But to help those love struck young souls out there, I have complied a list of 'red flags' as they're called; essentially a "Avoid at all cost," ideology of mine in 5 points.

1. Relationship with their mother.

This is actually really important! Men who have a good but not overly attached relationship with their mothers are very good at understanding and taking care of women mentally and emotionally.

If your man does not have a good relationship with his mother, it may be a huge indicator to "Get the heck out of there". Albeit be sure to know why this is, as there are many a logical reasons to why a man might not have a good relationship with his mum, which may include the following;

- Parent is physically, mentally and emotionally abusive.

- Parent is not involved in their life for long periods of time, or at all.

- Parent is unfit to care for child/children - due to addiction mainly

He will try to do everything to his benefit and not yours too, so you can leave him in the dust.

2. Lying

See, a white lie every now and then is fine, everyone does it. Though, if you suspect your man or have noticed him lying more than once. That's a big flag they're waving around in front of you.

Men who are inclined to compulsively lie are definitely not the men you want to be around; as they could be doing all sorts of things.

I'm not saying he shouldn't keep some things from you, because lots of topics/things for men are better left unsaid or not spoken about because it's a sensitive topic for him. If he is lying about who he is and isn't with, or what he's doing; continuously and has no reasons behind it. Dump, dump, dump.

3. Doesn't get along with your family & friends.

Not everyone gets along with their family, not everyone has a fantastic relationship with their family. Though, if your partner is constantly trying to manipulate you, keep you away from your family and convince you that your own family is the enemy.

He is wrong, he's not your mum, dad, sister, or brother - he doesn't know anything about the individuals of your family.

He shouldn't "Want you all to himself 24/7" and use that as an excuse to keep you from friends either. If he tries to leave events early, for example; your friends birthday celebration. And says some things along the lines of,

"I'm bored."

"No one here likes me." / "No one's talking to me"

"I want to go home, I don't like it here."

He is not a friendly person to be around, he's probably not even attempting to have fun, or be nice to anyone himself.

Leave him immediately because manipulation and obsessive qualities are extremely 'toxic traits'.

4. Guilt Tripping/Gaslighting

This is a huge issue in a relationship, for anyone. Please notice the signs when your so called 'significant other' blames you for nearly everything, and again, manipulates you into believing you are wrong and they are right.

They claim that you are overreacting, causing a scene or otherwise. Tell them to back off buddy. These men target your insecurities and make you feel like there's no way out and that they're protecting you from everyone bad in the world.

Men who guilt trip you are simply aiming to control you as the can not control themselves and things in their world, so do people who gaslight situations in their relationships too. They do this by targeting your sub-conscious insecurities, usually through small comments.

"You're so clumsy", "You're an idiot", "Don't be stupid". This is belittling and just plain rude.

If they begin to gaslight its usually to calm you down in a situation; i.e

"Calm down, you're making a scene", "You're upsetting people", "You are overreacting, think about what you're doing right now."

Throw these men out of your life. Cause they're not worth anything.

5. Aggression

Finally, number five. This, to me, is very very important to look out for. If you are scared or threatened by a partner, do not give in mentally.

Avoid a physically violent interaction whenever possible.

It is normal for people to become frustrated and yell and shout, but if it is ever directed at you.

You need to leave them immediately, if you do not feel safe in your relationship, mentally, emotionally and especially physically. Do not stay because they say they love you, or they're nothing without you, and that they need you. Because that falls back to guilt tripping, and it is not right.

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Author note: Thank you for reading I could have worded this better but for now I shall leave it as is.