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What Women Understand

The knowledge that we all need to know.

By Relentless Kindness LilaPublished 5 months ago 4 min read
Canva AI Generator: "Trust"

Trust is a requirement in this human experience. We often think trust should be earned but that is a privilege reserved for those with authority or power.

Women understand that we must trust, it is not optional. This is ancestral knowledge that we all must learn. It is courageous to continue to live in a trusting manner when we can so readily think of those who have taken advantage of us. This is why it is a strength to continue to trust because we will be required to overcome obstacles regularly. That is just life.

I am not saying all women are trustworthy or trusting. Each person is subject to their environment and many people feel pressured to be “smart” and act distrustful to protect themselves. Defensiveness is not a new trait or isolated to men, however, the fragility a young girl experiences does shape a unique worldview that requires trust in others just to feel safe being alone.

Mankind must focus sharply on the mutually beneficial outcomes of every interaction at this time. We must sustain our boundaries that uphold trust in one another once it is achieved.

This critical time in history is confusing a lot of people. But what we need to hold on to is the ancestral knowledge of women, not because it is nice, but because we must. We are seeing the rise of femininity not to check or push down on the masculine; the presence of more femininity can bring the social fabric of global trust into harmony. A society that oppresses women will ultimately destroy their social trust in authority that would create a sustainable life.

We must not allow traditional values and their beautiful principles to be used to radicalize people to hurt one another.

According to Simon Sinek, one could be a good person but in a distrusting environment become untrustworthy and sinister. But when in a trusting, wholistic, environment one’s ability to trust grows. Even a “bad” person can become trustworthy in an environment that holds healthy boundaries, and expectations of wellbeing. It is the leadership that cultivates our environments and ultimately provides or destroys opportunities for the trust that is necessary for a productive global market and healthy worldview.

There is an element of risk when we are in a situation that requires trust. Unfortunately, it is only once an outcome is reached that one can say it was harmful or beneficial to trust someone. Often those who are determined to cultivate trust use the phrase, “Turn lemons into lemon aid.” To me, this refers to the skill of turning hurtful outcomes into beneficial ones and taking ownership to reinforce your own ability to build trust in others. This will ultimately lead you to become a leader that creates environments that function well long-term around you.

Whether you are a young woman going on a first date with a stranger, or a global superpower trying to avoid catastrophic war; the approach to trust matters greatly. I would argue in all situations it is most beneficial to approach it by first asking if we are trustworthy and cultivating a trusting environment ourselves.

What is trust? Patricia Jenkinson does an excellent job of educating simple concepts that are vital to leadership. Trust is one of them. She listed five key components of trust:

Intent to do good by others

Strength of character, being sincere, behaving with integrity

Reliability, consistently taking actions that meet obligations, and upholding your word

Transparency, not having hidden uses for others, and presenting plans openly

Competence. Having the ability and capacity to accomplish what you say will be done

I would add that these five key areas also help inform us on where we need to draw boundaries in trusting someone.

  1. If someone intends to do you harm, they are likely under the assumption that they need to defend themself from you. Repairs to trust are needed before any new agreements can be made.
  2. If someone’s character is disturbed, false, or intoxicating; your trust will be misplaced. Clear and direct communication needs to be established.
  3. If someone is consistently unaware of their responsibilities or blames others for their non-action your trust will not be productive. Awareness of limitations and agreements that function within those bounds needs to be clear.
  4. If you become aware that someone is using your trust in a way that you had not agreed to, or that someone is making contradicting agreements, your trust will not be valued. Stepping back to evaluate the situation before any further engagement is needed.
  5. If someone overpromises and under-delivers they do not understand their capacity in a way that will be productive for any agreements with you. Building capacity and defining limitations of resources need to be understood.

If we can cultivate a culture of trust, how might that shift our ability to become more productive at meeting each other's needs? If we could build trust think of the new possibilities for increasing capacity to improve living conditions and availability of basic resources! Think of all the block parties, fun holidays, and travels one can have with a trusting heart! There are so many wonderful people out there to meet!

If you find yourself feeling convicted at times, chances are that something you are doing, thinking, or a part of, is hindering others from trusting you. If you want life to be positive for yourself and others, you must begin to trust others and become trustworthy yourself.

Trust is not an option. Trust is a necessity.

Work to become trustworthy!


About the Creator

Relentless Kindness Lila

Born in a beautiful town in Arizona where the cowboys and the hippies meet. I walk with one foot in front of the other, exploring the difference between fear and freedom. I am growing into a fearless force of relentless kindness.

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  • Test3 months ago

    Well written and love the title. Thanks for sharing!

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