Unpacked

Broadcasted 175542.32 Solaris standard

Neutrino Frequency-778.2

Sub-red Laser Frequency-99**a

Source Verification-tx^6

“Greetings to all my jaunty friends spread out across the galaxy, this is Lin from Pale Blue Jaunt beaming at you live! Or you know, live minus however many light years this takes to reach you.

“If by chance this is your maiden voyage here with us, first of all welcome. Second, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a humble traveler, slowly making my way across this rapidly expanding universe of ours, and documenting every step along the way for you, the discerning viewer.

“If you look over my shoulder there, you might recognize that I am currently on Kepler Zed, which has just been cleared for human visitation. This means, of course, that there are lots of new things for us to explore.

“I guess I’ve always had a bit of an explorer’s spirit, if you’ll forgive me a little origin storying. Many years ago I was doing...how shall we say, a little ‘freelance archeological dig’ back on old earth, when I happened upon an ancient artifact. It was this beautiful little porcelain container, shaped like one of earth's many extinct species, that was apparently used to store tactile currency. And what's more, it somehow still contained actual money from around the mid-21st century! Which, when I took it to the archaeological banks, turned out to be just absurdly valuable. Worth around 20,000 units of Galactic Zone 7 Standard currency!

“That is a once in a green moon windfall there folks, life changing in every sense of the phrase. I knew I had to make something special out of it, so I took that money and used it to travel not just the world, but so many of them since.

“And what’s more, I’ve been lucky enough to be able to do so with some of the coolest tech around. So, per popular request, today I will be doing a “what’s in my pack” breakdown. We’ve truly got the latest and greatest here folks. Well...the actual greatest is no doubt reserved for the Corporate Militaries. But this is, without equivocation, the latest and greatest consumer tech, which helps me stay in business whenever I’m away from the ship.

“First off, my Tk4-21 Helmet. I mean, just look at this thing. So sleek. I could honestly do an entirely separate beam just for this. In addition to keeping me alive in this burgeoning young atmosphere, it sports an AI/R Guide which knows all the hot spots, and more importantly- knows which ones I will like best. It also keeps me ever connected to the interplanetary arpanet. Sure, I might get news from Earth or Mars a little later than some folks, but honestly who cares. On this channel, we’re not into watching news, we’re into making it!

“As a result of the local terraforming, things can get pretty hazy around here. This helmet can use LiDar to scan through the haze, and then project an image of the actual landscape onto my field of view. So the cloudiest or darkest days appear perfectly clear and navigable for me. It also rocks the brand new Sonic Boom program, which I am seriously obsessed with. It’s an AI musician that creates music on the fly, completely crafted to fit your tastes! Basically a brand new Beatles album every day if that’s what you’re into.

“Sure I could have gotten implants for a lot of this stuff, but y'all know me, I’m old fashioned. I like to be able to turn my tech off.

“Next is this Atari Omni-Tool. Looks like your standard knife, right? But, you press one button, and the blade part becomes this crazy pliable material with tons of preset shapes it can take. Look at this: we got a fork, a spoon, a spanner wrench, I could keep going. Then, once you find the shape you’re looking for, you press this second button, and it sends a signal through the material which instantly hardens it into your chosen shape.

“But that’s not even the best part, because you don’t have to go with the presets. You can manually mold it to whatever shape suits your need. Like let’s say you need, I don’t know, a giant hook for some reason. Just press the first button to make it all pliable, stretch it out like this, curve the top part, give the end a little twist and then press this button to harden it, boom! Now you have your very own imminently useful, giant hook-type thing. Love it.

“Next we’ve got this ultra capacity per volume solar panel. I never leave home planet without one. Solar is still the best way to power anything too small to have its own ion engine. This thing keeps all my tech fully powered just by being in their proximity, and since this planet is orbiting a double sun, it’s extra effective.

“Next is my Hydro-Cylinder, which I keep attached to the outside of the bag. This little guy doesn’t work everywhere, but on terraforming planets there is no shortage of water in the atmosphere. So this baby takes what it needs out of the air and provides you with plenty of drinking water, fresh and filtered.

“Next is this naNO material, which I always keep a big ole roll of. Watch this, this stuff is amazing. I just rip it like this, and then, do you see that? It just mends itself right back together. So let’s say I’ve ripped my jacket like... this. Oh no, alien pathogens! Right? Wrong. I simply take a small piece of naNO, apply it to the area, and it becomes part of the jacket, perfectly sealing the rip! Or let’s say it gets really cold, I can take several layers of naNO, meld it with the inside of the jacket, and just like that I am sporting an extra puffy winter coat! I can even sort of wad it up and add little bits of it onto my boots for extra support around the ankles if I’m hiking. You need a bandage? Just wrap it tight around your arm, and it seals against itself. It just becomes whatever I need it to, and then once I’m done, I can simply pull it off and add it back to the roll. I’ve even used it as a tent when I went crater climbing back on Mars. So useful, and it lasts forever too, guaranteed up to something crazy like 10,000 rips.

“Then we’ve got the magic man himself, let me switch to my helmet cam real quick so you can see him. What a looker, right? Top of the line drone camera, self-driving and self-taught. This guy is responsible for all the best shots in my beams. My little portable cinematographer. Programmed with just...an insane number of filmed medias from over hundreds of years, he knows all the great shots. And the more he gets to know you, the more he’ll learn all of your good sides.

“Ok buddy, let’s get a close up shot of this one. Last but never least...my trusty little black notebook. Folks, these things are called classics for a reason. I wish you could smell this. Dear god, the paper!

“Sure I could dictate into a computer, or even do so directly from a neural interlink, but no matter what I’ve tried, nothing sorts my thoughts better than the mind and body working in tandem to write something out by hand.

“Did you know there are whole swaths of the human population that never even learned to write? Wild. I count my lucky stars that I come from a long line of writers. I kid you not, there are pictures of my great, great, something something grandma writing on this exact same style notebook!

“I’ve gone through so many of these bad boys, at least one per planet that I’ve been through. And while I truly love making videos for y'all, for me, for my own memories...nothing quite beats these simple little notebooks.

“Call me old fashioned, but I never leave the stasis pod without it.”