The Celestial Lighthouse

What is astrology? A map, a guidebook, or a grand celestial clock that keeps the record of the Kaal-Chakra, the Wheel of Time?

Its as if the momentum of the universe is encoded in the movements and alignments of stars and planets, but why? and how? What intelligence has created astrology – the map of life and what intelligence has decoded it? The more you ponder the more facets you find about this esoteric art and science, which is stunningly mysterious even to the experts and deeply comforting to the weary human spirit that is slowly climbing up the endless spiral stairway of evolution.

For me personally astrology has been a celestial lighthouse showing me the way during the worst storms of my life that appeared to be fated. I studied Quantum Physics in College and my understanding has been that all life exists as probabilities and certain ones manifest while others remain dormant. However over the years I have witnessed the manifestation of events and experiences that were predicted for me long before they happened.

In India, astrology is called 'Jyotish' which literally means knowledge or science that illuminates. I will share a few experiences from my life that have indeed been illuminated by astrology. And how Indian and Western Astrology helped me gain better understanding of who I am and how I continue to use this knowledge to fine tune my choices in life, both on a day to day level and in the long term.

I was born on March 22, that makes me a Pisces – Aries cusp. In the Vedic astrology I am a Libra Ascendant and an Aquarius Moon sign (Dhanishta Nakshatra). I remember my first astrology book was Linda Goodman's sun signs and later I read the Love signs as well. I would read those thick books for hours without getting tired. It was fascinating to see how my aggressive streak, my passion, my tenacity and headstrong nature and my ability to kick-start anything was perfectly described, even the emotional aspects of being very direct and open, having fiery feelings, lack of patience and a dislike for too many details…all that was spot on for me. Later I learned about cusps and realized I did have the dreaming, altruistic, humanitarian, deeply spiritual and poetic Pisces nature as well. I think my connection with Astrology was there even before I knew about it, my early childhood astral travels that I remember vividly are probably a testimony to my pursuit of the higher and mysterious forces.

I remember, I used to read my daily and weekly forecast in the newspaper with a bubbly combination of anticipation, faith and deep curiosity. I would read the forecast and then compare it with what was going on around me. I would read for other people and see if something clicked. It was fun activity for me but I never took astrology lightly, it was always a feeling of reverence and faith, akin to religion. Why? Don't know…maybe my inner self knew the role Astrology was going to play in my life and how it would ultimately become my lighthouse.

My first experience came from my first break up in late teens. Scorpio – Aries passion was magnetic and intense but Fire and Water signs don't blend very well, not in the long term and the more intimate the connection the more challenging it is. Recently I have seen this with my mother in law who is a Cancer Sun sign and often her safety seeking, seclusive Crab nature and watery sensitivity clashes with my Aries fiery raw energy and outgoing, risk taking instincts. But there is so much more to us than just Sun Signs and if we dig deeper I believe the roots of all the Zodiac connect and form a web like the beautiful ‘Tree of Life’. Shared feelings and perspectives are not difficult to find once we learn to do this celestial scuba diving and see the amazing patterns like coral reefs...that exist in our individual and collective psyche.

Anyways, that break up taught me many things and as I nursed my broken heart for the next 5 years, I continued to read and study myself and my circumstances through the lens of stars and their alignments. Till this point, I was mostly following Western Astrology as it was easy and I had some exposure to it. Later I started studying my Vedic Chart as well. I could examine my own life as microscopically as I wanted and I was only focused on my ‘self astro-analysis’ rather than studying Astrology as a subject in itself.

In my pursuit of answers, I met a local astrologer in my area who never took any fees and offered help to those who needed. He was a 50 or 60 year old simple man. I and my sister went there one evening, and what he told me was indeed accurate. I was asked to be mindful of intense mood swings during Full Moon cycles and not to let my emotions get out of control. He also said that I will always do very well with Food, I have the blessings of Goddess Annapurna (Indian Goddess of food and nourishment). Another thing I was told was that I will find a job soon and it will be very good for me.

I did find a job within a month where I met one of my mentors. I worked there for the next 5 years. It was a big learning curve and I also overcame my feeling of being small and felt more confident. Yes, even an Aries can lose confidence if the horoscope is twisted! And indeed I used to fight with my mentor every Full Moon! It took me sometime to recognize the pattern. My mentor knew about it and he taught me how to communicate my thoughts and emotions better. Aries Sun Sign if their Moon is in a challenging placement can actually become emotionally entangled, being very instinct driven they have strong emotions but they are not articulate and Aries tend to be more childlike and impulsive when it comes to their feelings.

My Libra ascendant did give me a great edge here but I have felt the raw Aries energy all through my growing years and now I feel like I am living more from my Libra side which is needed as I tread through the forest called marriage.

Also 15 years after this prediction, I am doing a Food Start up and utilizing my gift of Cooking. And indeed everyone loves my food!

It is also interesting to see how my Indian Horoscope (Sidereal Vedic) and Western Tropical Chart are slightly different due to my Sun being on very early degree of Aries. The Indian Chart shows Libra Ascendant and Pisces Sun while Western Chart shows Aries Sun and Scorpio Ascendant.

I did study both and it is marvelous how this difference hasn't changed any predictions for me and I do have qualities described as per both astrological systems.

During mid and late 20s my life was showing recurring patterns of rejection in relationships and heart breaks. Being abandoned repeatedly for no apparent fault was driving me crazy. When I entered a one sided love saga that lasted for more than 7 years, that was the phase that truly showed me the strength and power of Astrology.

Besides the relationship issue, I was also having trouble in finding meaningful work and a sense of purpose. I was doing freelance writing and designing and other small jobs but my heart was yearning for something big, not in terms of material achievement but a deeper sense of fulfillment.

When that one sided relationship was tearing me apart from inside out, I took the refuge of devotional prayers and Reiki healing. At that time I considered that relationship as a soul mate / twin flame connection. It was my only focus at the time and it felt as if I was being destroyed and recreated at the same time. I studied Composite charts, I studied my Transits, Solar returns, Numerology compatibility and everything that I could gather, to see why my love was not reciprocated. Indeed the intense attraction was there between us and yet no binding force which is needed for commitment and stability. The more I chased, the more I was given silent treatment and I suffered day and night. Yet through this unimaginably painful experience I learned the lesson of precious vulnerability. My fear dissolved, I could love beyond the layers of unfulfilled expectations and conditions and that brought me in deeper contact with my true Self. At the end of this 7 year cycle I felt I was liberated.

Attending a week long retreat workshop was part of this healing process. The retreat was led by a woman who later became my mentor and guide. I learned Non Dual teachings and other alternative healing techniques while working as her assistant. Also I became a Reiki master and taught Reiki to many people over the next seven years. Interestingly when I was studying my chart, it said I will benefit from the company of a woman of high knowledge and stature. Once again the planets showed their magical accuracy.

My interest in occult I assume, is due to the placement of Rahu (North Node of Moon). My Rahu is in the 9th house of higher learning and it gives me this insatiable drive to gather and absorb esoteric knowledge. Lately this cycle seems to be completed and I feel more drawn to silence and reflection than searching knowledge outwardly. I still seek wisdom but not out of hunger rather from a peaceful place of reverence for the mysteries of existence.

Did I mention about my violent dreams?? Oh man, the Mars in 12th house! Its definitely not easy energy. Not only does it give sexual energy that is very concentrated and can get out of control, Mars in the 12th house can also create a constant inner battle. Everything outside is fine, but you fight with your own subconscious mind every single day!

I grew up with intensely violent and horrific dreams due to this placement of Mars. It was so bad that as a child I was scared to fall sleep, fearing what I might dream that night. Again prayers and faith in Almighty's grace helped me. I also had some weird paranormal experiences as well during these early teen years.

Also my Saturn is in the 12th house in conjunction with Mars. That probably is what has given me both intense battles to fight and intense strength to fight them. Now that I am past the age of 35, I feel Mars energy is mostly tamed and Saturn is also matured and almost ready to reward my patience and hard work.

Going back to mid 20s, all my friends were getting married or were already settled and looked happy. I was still out of any luck and was losing sense of what I wanted in a relationship. A very well know Astrologer was a family friend's acquaintance, I had the good opportunity to meet him one morning. He saw my chart and said, I wont be able to marry until after the age of 32. He said don't even attempt as you will be disappointed. Just wait till this period is over and you turn 33.

Once again the power of astrology was proven. Despite my many attempts to find a partner, I didn't get married until the year I turned 33. Also it was sudden and my partner belongs to a foreign country and culture. This was predicted by 3 different astrologers many many years before I ever met my husband on the dating site.

A lady astrologer I happened to meet, had told me that in the year 2015, I will have a window of opportunity where if I want, I will be able to leave India and settle in a foreign land. It was indeed 2015 when I met my husband and we started the process for our marriage and my immigration.

Another strange incident happened which I will never forget. When I was suffering through the one sided love, I started learning Indian Classical music as a way to channelize my pain and use it as a fuel for creativity. I used to attend classes 6 to 7 PM, 3 times a week after my work. One evening an old gentleman arrived. He must be 70 at the time. He had come to pick his grandson who was in our singing group.

This old gentleman was an expert Palm reader, he didn't do it professionally and wouldn't charge any fees. After the class everyone gathered around him for a prediction of what their future was like. My turn came and I extended my palm, I don't remember left or right or both.

He had a stoic silence for a few moments. Then he looked at me and said, girl…you will face a time of terrible suffering over the coming years. You will go through a lot. But if you don't become negative from that experience and if you can manage to come out of it as a positive person, you will then meet the love of your life. You will live a life of peace and joy. However if you become bitter you will never marry anyone. You will do your work and earn, but you will live a lonely life. That was like a tower moment for me. I just nodded and said I will remember. I don't know what he saw in the lines on my palm, but he got up and hugged me. 'May God Bless you' he said before he left.

This was right when I was intensely seeking reciprocation in that one sided relationship. I told myself whatever comes my way, I will not become bitter and negative. I feel he was sent by Angels or Almighty directly to ensure that I have a clue and I make the right choice.

My meeting with this old astrologer lasted less than 15 mins, but it changed the course of my life. I endured many rejections and even ups and downs in my life, not to mention family issues going on in parallel.

But remembering what he said, I made a strong resolve to never close my heart no matter what happens. And I did it. I remained steadfast despite trauma and suffering and started focusing on my personal growth, which eventually led me to Non Dual teachings.

What was the result of this one life-saving advice? Many years later, I did find the love of my life. I did find a rainbow and a pot of love! I am awaiting for the pot of gold to follow as well… ;)

These were some key events in my life that validate the truth and beauty of astrology. Every time I needed a clue, a clarity and had to make a choice, Astrology came to my aid. And it is a strange fact that not once did I pay any fees to any astrologer. There is some karma at play here, I always had astrology advice given to me as a gift and never as a commodity that I paid for!

Now why wouldn't I revere this sacred science? I owe a lot to this celestial lighthouse. But hey, the story doesn't end here…there is more.

As I pass through this life journey I can now see more microcosmic details about my personality. Underneath the cloak of Ascendant, Sun and Moon Sign…every little planetary alignment, their transits and house placements, each element is like a stroke on the canvas of my being.

Now at the age of 39, I know where my habits come from, what were my nightmare and why they haunted me? Why relationships failed? Why I have struggled in work and earning…what are my strengths and where I am going with my life purpose. I might not know every detail, but now the map of astrology is tied to my intuitive knowing and where one is vacant the other fills the gap in my perception.

When I met my husband, it was indeed an instant connection. Both of us had been broken in the past and our pattern of brokenness matched. We were meant to fit together and become one unit. I am glad both of us had done sufficient psycho-spiritual work that we didn't build any co-dependency issue or victim complex and rather we enjoy a very healthy vibrant marriage. Though that doesn't mean our marriage has been free of any dysfunction at all. We went through a marital evolution in the last 4 years and one more time Astrology and Tarot has come to my rescue.

The very week when I first started talking to my husband over Skype calls, I went to a very dear friend of mine who is a gifted Tarot Card reader. Every little detail she told me about him has been true. She also told me that I will have to rein in my Aries temper and our major issue will be communication for the first few years. But in the long term the relationship will bloom in a very magnificent way and the world will look upon us as a pair of ‘unusual birds’.

Indeed we had issues mostly coming from my Aries raw temper and I did learn a whole new depth of communication and bonding. My marriage is the first relationship where I actually had the full spectrum of intimacy experience. Earlier it was all fragmented and mostly unreciprocated connections and thus I never knew what it truly means to be in a relationship with your entire being.

Intuitively I feel that my major storms are over in terms of karmic lessons. And now its time to share and apply these experiences to help others. Tarot and Astrology remain a part of my daily life. In fact on two different occasions I have suffered both minor and major losses when I did not pay heed to the celestial message and went ahead with a wrong decision.

Also in recent years Saturn has given me separation from homeland and my family, it has also given me back to back obstacles and delays in the last 3 years. Yet I have been blessed with a very peaceful and balanced life otherwise.

I wonder, on this voyage of evolution where am I headed next? Building a Business Legacy? Creating an Eco – Community? Writing Poetry and Stories? Cultivating Deeper Presence? I feel its all of this and maybe something more.

There have been events that still remain a mystery in my life and I wonder if a lost thread will connect somewhere in the future and unravel a part of my journey. I let it be for now, there should be a hint of mystery in life as it keeps the flavors of our experience fresh!

A dear friend who is a very evolved being once told me something. We were talking about life purpose and he looked at my palm, and said two things…

One – Whenever you will behave like a woman (meaning from base emotions) you will suffer. My sunshine and success is through practical and prudent state and not through emotional frowning and drowning. And it has also proven true for me on countless occasions.

Second – I did not come here for liberation (even though I thought that was the case). He said wait till your are 44 and you will see. He never said anything about what it is that's coming my way. He deliberately left the puzzle to be decoded later! I take it as a gift, its good not to know everything.

In my experience The Celestial Lighthouse is intelligent, compassionate and it never fails to light my way. To me its not just cosmic calculations and predictions, its the journey of Kaal Chakra – the Wheel of Time. And what is Time? Its The Great Spirit in movement.

I am a reflection of this infinite cosmic river. I bow down to its radiantly flowing wisdom waters that feed my spirit day and night. I look up at the stars and carry on the voyage, knowing that the Celestial Lighthouse is always there to guide.