Space Case

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. My intrusive thought skipped around my mind as I pressed my face against the cool glass of the shuttle windows. The condensation from my heavy breathing spanned out across the glass. I could see the rocket coming into view. My rocket; the place I will call home for my foreseeable future until we reach our new home nestled the stars.

Slumping back against my crackled vinyl seat I attempted to breathe away my thoughts and fears. It wasn’t even my idea to move to the Sky Box. My husband had insisted it was a better option than moving to the colonies.

“At least we will be free again at the Sky Box.” Derick’s words dripped from his mouth coated heavily in conviction. In his eyes I could see his vision of our future in space. I had smiled an uncertain grin in his direction to affirm his beliefs, fighting down my fears.

The Earth has become so badly scorched from intensifying solar flares that the human population, or what is left of it anyways, was given the opportunity to move to an experimental floating community in outer space or to move to the colonies governed by a board of prior country leaders. The colonies were built in the last few places where crops could be grown and livestock be healthily fed. It sounded great at first but once the first colony settlers began to report back to those who still had not decided that bleaker the colonies began to seem.

The governing board rarely came to agreements on bylaws and often time the chosen leaders would end up governing their own countries people. This was leading to small wars within the colonies. People fighting others for food that is grown in abundance over simple philosophical disagreements. The medical care there for those who end up so badly injured from the fights is appalling. Most of those injured leave the colony to die alone in the deserts surrounding them rather than seeking care from wannabe doctors and physicians whom likely never even read a surgical book.

However, now that it is moving day my anxiety sat heavy in my gut. My stomach knotting under the glare of Derick’s gaze. It was so cool and confident in his decision. I wonder how does one obtain enough certainty that they are able to absolutely deny any and all risks? Perhaps he is right, and I just need to get my mind straight. I will make an appointment with the therapist as soon as we dock. Assuming there will be a licensed therapist there as well. For now I just need to focus on not vomiting during takeoff.

We shuffled along in a line with the other who had chosen to live in the Sky Box too. Our space entry suits rubbing at every joint despite the roomy appearance they first had. I watched solemnly as one by one our new neighbors were adorned with a helmet and ducked into the side of the rocket. Finally Derick and I reached the front of the line. The helmet was fastened to my suit, and I crossed the threshold to my new beginning. One where I was allowed to govern myself.

Reaching our seats seemed to be an illusion of the mind. We walked across what would soon be the electrical panel that technically ran vertically up and down behind us. The little lights and switches buzzed and blinked in a rhythmic pattern. Struggling to clamber into our seats from underneath their backs. Once we managed to get settled the hands of the shuttle crew made quick work of buckling and tightening the safety harness. Once the crew was gone from the rocket the countdown began to play loudly and seemingly from all around me. My anxiety rising through my body.

“Six, five,” The robotic voice rambled on. The anxiety now crawling up my abdomen like a thousand tiny spiders. My legs growing restless each inch it creeps up.

“Three, two,” I clutched my harness straps across my chest. My knuckles paling under the pressure of my grip. I could feel the dark arms of my anxiety wrapping themselves around my chest, squeezing. Derick shot me a quick glance my way. Was that worry I just saw flash through his eyes?

“One, takeoff.”

“Wait!” My panicked cry suffocated in the din of the rocket’s ascent to our new world.