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Relationships, interactions and exploits

Journey to Self

By Elle VihmanPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
Relationships, interactions and exploits
Photo by Matt Popovich on Unsplash

A lot has been discussed about the topics of relationships, and this is no different here either, if only different in terms of its interesting perspective on the relationship as such.

Some time ago, my friend and I were talking about the different faces of a relationship, and his question to me was what kind of relationship do I want, or in what kind of relationship do I see myself playing my part. There were three variants, as in a real multiple-choice test😛

A) Be only the giver in the relationship

B) Be only the taker in the relationship

C) Being a giver and taker in a relationship

My personal experience of relationships and interactions brought up the following discussion

A) Being only a giver in a relationship - it doesn't fit my nature (anymore), I'm too stubborn today to start figuring out for the other what it needs or wants. This, first of all. Secondly, the fate of only the giver is very bleak. One's own desires and needs are no longer recognized, and then if it happens that the recipient (not even the recipient, it is still on its own) somehow disappears, then the life of the giver also ends, because he/she no longer has a reason to live. He/she no longer knows him or herself as a person, he/she has lived only for another, forgetting that he/she too is someone who needs something.

B) Being only a taker in a relationship - it also doesn't fit my nature (anymore), I've been that too, but as an empath I guess I can't just take anymore. This version of the relationship strongly resembles vampirism. Also, the condition of the other party in such a relationship becomes difficult, at one point there is nothing left to give, but the TAKER demands, demands even so much that he/she begins to manipulate by pretending to be hurt at first, then by throwing accusations, and well, for me, the peak is when they start demanding with violence, so be it whatever, material values, some activities, or even demands for acceptance.

C) Being a giver and taker in a relationship. I would rename them both “receivers”. Why is this version the only one available for me? Because it's a partnership. People in this relationship are present in themselves, understanding and recognizing both their own being and the needs of the other, and are also able to accept what the other has to give. Those who say that it is very rare in the world are also right, but understanding it means that it can be achieved. And only with mutual respect and partnership. It takes a little more than "forced attachment or crazy emotions" to create such a relationship.

In such a relationship there is a mutual WILL TO BE and there is no need to bind anyone, in such a relationship there are feelings and emotions that resemble a "whirlwind of a thunderstorm" or "all volcanoes in the world erupting at once". There is also an understanding in this relationship that both need "time and space to be themselves", in this they are equal partners in the understanding that everyone has their own quirks and these quirks actually make us who we are. And that's why the only possible relationship for me is the third one. In fact, it's the only way I can communicate at all.

This third is a really rare phenomenon, but if you have already experienced such communication once, you will understand that this is the only way to create a fulfilling life. Be it a partnership in the economy, a marital relationship between a man and a woman, or the strongest option, a Team. A team dedicated to achieving common goals. Each team member contributes his own special talents and "swings" to this association. Everyone understands what someone's strengths are and tasks are divided accordingly. If needs do arise that are no longer common to the purpose, they know and are able to deal with them, and no one is left aside because of it.

Elle Vihman from the time 2. SEPT. YEAR 2016


About the Creator

Elle Vihman

I was born and raised in a small Baltic country called Estonia. Back then, it was still known as Soviet Estonia, and the main laws were dictated by Russia. Today, the most important thing any individual can do is find their inner balance.

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