Pioneer of realities

Death is as confusing as life, and since I died, I've been having a hard time coming to terms with it. My name is Jonathan. I'm from Massachusetts. My life was over far too soon, but I don't want to go into that. I've been here in Limbo for a while now, trying to wrap my head around everything that I've seen. The more time I spend here, the more confusing it becomes.

I don't really understand what's going on. It's like I'm in a maze, and no matter how many times I walk the path, I end up back where I started. It doesn't make sense. The people here are the most frustrating part. I've been trying to talk to them, but they don't seem to pay attention. I think I'm invisible to them or something. They don't seem to care about anything. They all wander around aimlessly, stuck in their own little worlds. It's hard to describe.

Sometimes I see people in the shadows. I think I can see the people I killed. Maybe this is a way to remind me that I'm not a good person. I get scared when I see them. I'm not too fond of it. They're not angry or anything, but they just stare at me, like their eyes are bored by me.

My life was my own. It's not like I was trying to hurt anyone or do anything to make people hate me, but I don't think I'm in Hell. It's hard to explain.

I don't think I deserve to go to Hell. And I know I'm not in Heaven. I've seen other people who have been here for a while, so I guess I'll be around for a while. I don't know. For a long time, I slept all the time to avoid the things I was seeing. When I woke up, it was the same thing, all over again—death, life, death, life. I'm so tired of it.

I sit here on a rock, in the middle of the field, and watch the people. There are no clouds above me, no sun or moon, just an endless sky. Sometimes I see things flying above me, like ducks or birds. I wonder if anyone else can see them.

Years pass by, and the more time that passes, the more I start becoming like the others that came before me. I'm tired of walking around, getting nowhere. I'm tired of being here. I'm tired of being me.

Overall, though, it's not something I can complain about. It's not like I'm suffering.

I was just lying down on the floor thinking about how interesting it was that I still slept and felt tired, but I was never hungry. Then suddenly, a crack in the air in front of me appeared. It was made out of light. And from it, a girl stepped out. she seemed to be a teenager. "so this is what another reality looks like!" she said in amazement. "I mean, it's different than mine, but it's cool all the same." I got up off the ground and faced her. I could tell she was a little scared, I tried speaking, but I don't think I remember how. Her clothing seemed different, and in her hand, she had something that looked like a phone. but it was unlike anything I had ever seen before, and it was transparent. "smartphone?" I said quietly.

"dude, are you speaking to me?" she asked. I nodded, and she smiled. "wow, for a moment there, I thought you weren't going to talk to me. Let alone in English. I'm Kaitlin. Nice to meet you!" she said as she extended her hand. I took it and shook her hand. "I'm Jonathan," I said. "OK, so now that I know your name, I have a few questions for you." "is that a cell phone?" I asked. "oh, this thing? Yeah, it's a communication device, but it's not technology-based. it's a little difficult to explain." "I see. so, what are your questions?" I asked. I was still trying to wrap my head around all this.

"I think I might be the first person to travel across realities, but I never expected to see humans here. What exactly is this place? I can't seem to see any stars or even the sun, but everything is glowing." she said."I got here by death," I said. "that's a very interesting way to get here," she replied.

she was silent for a moment, but her face was twisting and changing, almost as if pondering reality itself. "so you're dead?" she asked. "yeah," I said. "this is the afterlife, isn't it?" "I'm not sure," I said. "but I'm not sure what death is. when I died, I just came here." "wait do you mean you don't know what death is?" "I know what death is, but I don't know what it is in this place. I don't see anything dying here." "you mean you know that you're dead, but you don't feel any different? so you can still stand up and move around and stuff?" "Yeah, I'm just tired all the time," I said. "but beyond that, I don't know..." my voice trailed off. "do you really not know, or are you just saying that?" she asked. "I really don't know," I said. "all I do know is that I'm here, and I'm dead." "Are you sure? well, I mean, you might be dead, but don't you think you should know a little more than that?" "no, I don't," I replied. "I don't know. I don't think I should. I don't think I want to know more than I do right now." "so you came here by death, and you don't want to know what this place is? or why you are dead?"

"I think I'm taking this whole thing very well," I said. "I don't know how to explain it, but part of me feels OK here. I can't explain it." "OK, I'm not going to push you on this one.”

She looked at her communication device and pressed a couple of buttons on it. then pointed it at me as if scanning me. "what are you doing?" I asked. "oh, nothing, just scanning you. I'm trying to work out how you're functioning and everything." she said. "why?" I asked. "well, it's pretty hard to believe that you don't know." she said. "what? I don't understand," I said. "you are a human, right?" she asked.

"of course I am." I said. "so, you aren't a computer or a robot or anything?" "no, I'm not a robot. I’m a human being." I said. "so you still have a heartbeat, you breathe, and you have a brain, right?" "yeah, I have all those things. why?" I said. "Well, you say that. But you're the only human I've ever met who doesn't." she said. "what do you mean 'don't'?" I asked.

"well, I'm not sure what to think. It doesn't make any sense. I can't explain it." she said. "you're not making any sense." I said. "I can see that. I guess it must be hard for you to understand, but I don't know how else to explain it. You’re missing your insides," she said. "Things are how they are. There’s nothing much to explain," I said, trying to remain calm, even though internally I was struggling to do so. "you either are or aren't dead. you say you're dead, but from what I can tell, I don't think you are."

"suspiciously dead or something," she whispered to herself. "I don't know, you guys don't seem to be here in a non-physical way, and to me, that means you're not actually dead, just pretending to be dead." "I'm not pretending to be dead," I said. "why would I pretend to be dead?"

"well, I have more I need to explore. if you want to prove to me that you're actually dead, then just come with me, and I’ll study you further later," she said. "I don't know." I replied. "well, do you have anything better to do?" "no, not really." I said. "well, come on." she said as she took off into the distance. "wait for me!" I yelled as I followed her.