Note to Self

It’s almost summertime, dear Gemini, and time to get out of your own head. It's time to see past the thoughts constantly swimming around in your head, and take a swim in an honest-to-god real, natural lake. Or even a man-made pool. You’re not one to be picky. I know Gemini is an air sign but you crave the weightlessness of your sentient being in water to help balance your hardworking mind.

Summer is your season to shine alongside the sun like you always wanted to, dear Gemini. It’s time to make all your dreams come true. It's time to smell the real flowers, not the metaphysical ones you perseverate on in your head. You get the idea. I know you want to throw a billion more metaphors in the mix but we’re working with a time limit and a word count here, your two main motivating factors. Or are they constraints? Two sides of the same coin, just like a Gemini. Call either heads or tails and Gemini wins.

When we previously read your chart, we said that 2021 would bring you tremendous success in your career. The problem is, you need to choose one career. You’ve done great so far as a part-time teacher, part-time librarian, part-time writer, part-time secretary, and full-time caretaker to a menagerie of humans and pets alike. I’m not sure how all these add up to a whole, but I’ve always been more of a wordsmith instead of a mathematician. Gemini is the sign of the twins, but you are more like twins divided in half and then squared. How many fractal personalities can one person have? It's high time you ask yourself what you really want to do with your one precious life. Encourage unifying the whole and direct it towards meaning, lest you burn yourself out like so many forgotten stars in our galaxy.

No need to be subtle about your talents. Fellow Gemini Prince was never subtle about his talents. Shine like the purple gem you are! So what if you're not as imposing as you want to be? Wear heels and raise your profile. So what if not everyone understands the brilliance behind your art? A few people didn't get Prince's music either. And you know what? Those people suck! Prince didn't let that stop him from creating. It came from inside his deepest core, and the human species as a whole is better for it. Don't believe me? Cue up Erotic City immediately and then seek medical attention if you are unable to bop to the music.

It’s also time to take care of your health. We know the recent pandemic had many Geminis imbibing more than their usual share of wine. Sometimes the only way to slow down the thoughts in your head is to sedate yourself. A little grape juice, whether it’s five o'clock or not, slows those thoughts down like rush hour traffic so you can really pay attention to them one at a time. Take a cautionary note from fellow Gemini Johnny Depp. Remember how good looking he was in 21 Jump Street? You cut that poster out of Tiger Beat but couldn’t bear to tape it to the wall. Instead, you carried it everywhere with you so you could periodically gaze at it throughout the day. It even made you question your burgeoning bisexuality, even though his high cheekbones were very feminine. Now think about Captain Jack Sparrow. Lesbianism back on track! Don’t lose your money or your liver to the fancy wine you love so much. It can only slow you down, not make you better.

Speaking of love relationships, yours has been on a roller coaster from hell the last several years, The stars predict that you are finally about to disembark from this unwelcome ride. In the beginning, love was full of gleeful anticipation as you buckled into the car with your love interest and headed up that big hill of excitement. Then, the bottom fell out at the first of many drops. You both came unbuckled and white-knuckled around every twist and turn, praying to get back on track. Remember how you liked that one Kanye song, but then he supported Trump and then tried to run for president himself? And you really questioned your life choices and sense of taste before you realized it wasn't you, it was just Kanye going off his medication. This year, your prayers will be answered. Your beloved (or beloveds, we are talking about the multi-faceted, indecisive Geminis and I am nonjudgmental) will finally pull their shit together and thank you for waiting. The end result will be a million times better than that one Kanye song that caught your attention in the first place.

It’s also time to kick your inner critic to the curb. You’ve been dragging her around for far too long. Nobody likes a mopey girl. It’s not the nineties anymore. Angelina Jolie is a goddess incarnate but why does she look like she stopped eating? Remember Gia? Girl Interrupted? Even Lara Croft - Tomb Raider? Now, it's all about world hunger and the fact that women in many parts of the world are being killed simply because they are women. This should not be ignored, of course! Geminis need a cause to devote their energy to, but please stop directing anger inward, dear Gemini. It is true you have made mistakes, but you do not need to punish yourself any longer. There are certainly bad people in the world but you are not one of them. Remember to recite your affirmations every morning, do your sun salutations, and treat yourself to that grilled cheese sandwich that brings such joy.

Embrace your inner witch the way you’ve always wanted, dear Gemini. This summer, the sun rises on your right while the moon rises on your left. Turn your face to the sun while the full moon watches your back. You've been practicing for this moment ever since you were a little girl, listening to your parent's copy of Rumours on vinyl, and twirling around the living room in a swishy skirt like Stevie Nicks. Write the twin words of pain and joy that will live forever like Stevie did. Now you're on center stage and the world is watching you turn.