Myopic

Across the Universe resonates through impervious aluminum walls of the orbiter; vibrating sound waves across empty tanks creating dancing bullseyes on top of a residual fuel source before absorbing into space's dark matter. Mel’s playlist was still connected to the ships’ internal Bose speakers; one of the few instruments functional on the ship. Mel’s body now limp, and suspended behind the payload bay doors.

With An Eloquence of Time and Space, wedged between anxiety gilded fingers, the shuttle spun clockwise in gravitational plight; I lost count of the times I have read it. A pale hue crossed my vision, I let the book retract my grip in careless fashion, along with an enchantment of binary stars and undiscovered galaxies. Holding an unexpected hopeful gaze towards the outer vastness, I float; restrained against pressurized silica glass. What seems like endless meters of fluid glass, and yet the frigid darkness emanates towards my fingertips; trepidation sets in. A waxy Toblerone wrapper, and an empty steel water container sputtered in revolutions; orbiting alongside a spoiled gastric lavage in rhythmic force with the ship. I was reminiscent of a toy kaleidoscope. Minimalistic mountains adorn the torn Toblerone cardboard packaging; leaving me begrudged to the landscape below.

My focus fixates out an eclipse portal, much like a ballerina in spin; pointing passerby landmarks. A stelliferous gloom cleared in melodic movements over a barren Joshua Tree National Park. Endless nights I spent upon a cracked, cold desert floor wishing I was here in tandem with the stars, were now metamorphosing into specks of hope that I would make it back to that place again. On Earth, Mel and I devoted 5 years together; surveying bee populations and the effects of polypores on the disintegration of diseases within their delicate colonies. As a stunted planet, we knew the first step in the salvation of all life was to reverse, and repair damage we caused by depleting an integral species. We carefully integrated fungus spores into countless colonies with a significant margin of success. Earth’s health, and her millions of species had become reliant, and trusting of a single insect's influence. The delicate, and unfailing species of fungus we harbored to revive the bees was now failing us; it was invasive.

Mel felt the aftershocks of our attempt, as interminable networks of polypores protracted throughout the orbiter. Expansive webs shrouded the ship's equipment; plumbing the depths of its chasms, and began to consume it. The inception was caused by a spore penetration of polypores utilizing organic and inorganic material aboard the ship. Fruiting bodies of the spongy species amadou, and reishi adapted to this environment; becoming parasitic. It contaminated our environment; air, flesh, organs, the bones of the orbiter. I felt the striation, and rumbling of chemical communication between the polypore’s maze. Mel’s initial attempts to gain control of the population resulted in her demise. She was trying to save me. Over several weeks; a mellifluous orchestra of restive spores surreptitiously infested her lungs; ultimately suffocating her; quietly utilizing her nutrient dense body as a sustainable host.

Is space the Wendigo; waiting to devour me; eager to feel the slosh of fear, and despair compacted inside its hollowed bowels? Would I be saved from the impending savages of starvation? I was out of resources; fuel, food, salvation. As the polypores were now deeply integrated into the ship’s systems; communications with Earth were no longer available, and initially no one seemed eager to assist. Especially, with the high risk of my rescue presenting doom on the remaining population.

Suspended, with no grounding force, I realized; fear would be my consumer; unless I consumed fear first.