Mango

I was young when it happened, when the world disappeared. I’ve seen pictures and heard stories of our formerly happy life; the bright green palm trees dancing in a Florida breeze, my favorite manatees affectionately named Chompy and Flippy Doo, and even selling my Nanni’s mangos in front of her house. But that was the “Before,” before the light went out, before those memories faded away. Yet even in darkness I vividly remember the end of us; the look of terror on my dad’s face, my mum’s late-night worried whispers, the thickness in the air that nearly choked me. I can still smell the smell of death, taste the tears, but better still can I recall my Last birthday.

We were going on a “big trip” they told me as I was handed from the dock over the edge of a boat that wasn’t ours. Nothing and everything was ours after the blackout. It felt like forever rocking back and forth, not knowing the day from the night. I wanted to touch the water, but I had to be a good girl and listen, so I didn’t. I lived in the water before… I thought I could have been a mermaid one day, and maybe I could have if I’d lived in a different time. My mom would have been a mermaid too. So there we were, the 3 of us on a little boat singing and rocking into the darkness. Rocking always put me to sleep so I probably missed a few songs along the way. I was awakened by the sound of my dad tying the line, and the soft sloshing of the water against the body of a boat with an engine no longer rumbling. Moments later, a match was struck and a little tea light sparked before my eyes. We didn’t have many left but it was a special day. It was my last birthday. As I fixated on the wiggling light, my dad stretched his arms toward me and said, “Pick a hand Heartlee.” I couldn’t decide and I really wanted to pick the best hand, which was obviously the one to his right. When he released his fist, out dropped a locket still looped around a single finger. It was the most beautiful golden heart dangling back and forth, illuminated by the light, reflecting everyone huddled together on its smooth, polished surface. I didn’t realize it was a locket at first because I’d never seen one before, so I was bewildered when mum opened it up. I couldn’t peel my eyes from their loving, tiny, faces smushed inside. In hindsight, I wish I had looked up at their real faces and studied them like I studied the locket. Maybe then I’d remember them better now.

I call it my “last birthday” because it was my last birthday with them. I didn’t know how important those last moments were, fleeting and precious. I was young. This was probably the saddest day, or night (we couldn’t tell), of their lives, and I was too elated to notice. My dad had the biggest hands. They held mine until they didn’t anymore. He fumbled to clasp the chain around my neck, and I could feel him shaking when he said, “If you ever become lost, remember we will be here in your heart.” I thought he meant that I could show an adult their tiny pictures so they would know who to look for and find them. I didn’t understand metaphors back then.

My mom loved the word “Heart.” She told on the day I was born, she realized I was her whole heart, and none of the names they had picked were an adequate representation of that love. That’s why they named me Heartlee. I hope I told them that they were my whole heart too, but I can’t remember. I really hope I said that. The sad thing is, I do still remember the worst mistake I had ever made. A mistake that haunted me for the next 17 years, and if you’re reading this, know that it likely remained my biggest regret until I too, went into the After.

That same night, as the flame waned, they told me to make a birthday wish. I closed my little eyes and the first thing that came to mind was this orange kitten I saw once before. He had a round kitten belly that looked just like a Mango. I wished for a Mango. I should’ve wished something better like our family staying together forever or for the light to come back. Had I waited I could’ve wished that they’d go through the tunnel with me... Literally anything else, but what did I do? I wished for a freaking Mango. I couldn’t go back in time and I never saw their faces again. When I was able to go back to the surface I tried to locate them, but all I found was more darkness and the sad realization that I would have to meet them in the After. Then I tried looking for a Mango. I convinced myself that it would be a sign of their spirit, but I wasn’t successful. Still, I carried them in my heart.

Today is probably my last “last birthday” and I pictured them telling me to make a wish. When I closed my eyes, a Mango popped into my head once more. I actually think something is wrong with me at this point… I literally tried to wish for anything else, but everyone knows you can’t undo a wish. Yep… 24 year old me, still wishing for a freaking kitten with a big Mango belly…albeit accidentally. I’ve thought about what high school would have been like and if I would have played volleyball on the beach when I got older. I’ve even wondered what it would feel like to ride a horse. I wish I knew what it was like to go over to a neighbor’s house for sugar. I’m told people used to do that a lot. I remember loving sugar once. Instead, I lived in the tunnels for most of my life, but I knew the light and I am hopeful it will return.

If you’re reading this, my name is Heartlee Niamh Kimball, born May 26th 2273. I buried this note on May 26th 2297. I’m leaving you my heart-shaped locket, and inside you’ll find Ori Lee and Adonis Warrick Kimball.

Please write your own letter, about you and your world, and add it to this container (or a better container if this one isn’t in great condition). Maybe then, the future can hold us in their hearts, even if we are all in the After when the light comes back.

PS. I hope you have better luck finding an orange kitten, I saw one once and it was really cute. We were going to get one when I was young; when I heard my parents talking about it, my mom said that it would bring a little extra light into our lives. I guess that’s why I wished for one on my Last Birthday… and probably why I still wished for one on my Last Last Birthday… I miss the light…

PPS. Please name him Mango for me.

Love, Heart

The letter I’ve included is framed at The Foundation, a museum holding the biggest collection of the Before. It was found with 7 other letters, Heartlee Kimball’s heart-shaped locket, and several other trinkets. We always study the Before, and try to learn from humanity’s missteps. I never actually realized what it must have been like for them until today. My assignment was to pick one of the seven letters and write back to it. I decided to write back to Heartlee.

Dear Heart,

My name is Zarya, it means sunrise. Most names have to do with the light now. My classmates are Lucien, Anwar, Zia, Elio, Sanson, Haru, Taner, Aelia, Aurora, Solana, and Idalia. All of their names mean some version of light or sun. It’s weird for me to read the names of the past. It feels so random and I can’t seem to understand what would motivate a parent to name a child after an organ. I bet you didn’t think that one day, centuries after the light, your story would hang on display in a museum. There weren’t many written stories from the Before for us to find or carry. The survivors of the Before spoke about the light so much, as time went on, those words acted as the baseline, allowing us to revive many lost languages. I know you can’t write back, so instead I will tell you about my life.

Everything is covered in a light green moss, and we can touch the water. You couldn’t because of the toxins, but those were burned off after the Second. That was when it’s believed that you went to the After. The Second is when the light returned to Earth in flashes, and many of the domes and bunkers couldn’t withstand the heat. It was worse than the blackout, which is now called the First. You went outside before then, at least to bury your capsule. After the Second, the surviving population wouldn’t return to the surface for over 80 years. There was only one other letter from your time added to the capsule. The other five came after that eighty-year gap.

I want you to know that we are doing better this time.

I bet you’d think our landscape is odd, considering the flora and fauna of your time. Homes are built in trees and over water, and all structures are rounded or triangular. The rounded ones are built to withstand the wind, and the triangular ones are designed to encourage a steady flow of wind. Our flowers bloom in the nighttime and glow in the dark. It feels normal to us, but your flowers looked beautiful too. We tried to remake them, but they don’t live for very long. Hopefully we can revive a peony one day, because I’d love to see one. The ocean looks milky clear and the oldest trees have black bark, while the newer ones are lightening to a purple. There is no “Florida,” but there are different areas of settlement. The air is clear now, but for my great-grandparents it was still dry, so the settlements were centered around the domes or near the most potentially humid areas. We tried to fix several problems from the Before by using and reusing all natural materials, and by living in harmony with animals. You’d have loved it here I think.

Animals have all been black since the Second. Just over a century ago, scientists were able to successfully recreate many land and sea animals from the Before, animals with colors. They focused their attention on creating the animals that would help balance our current ecosystem. Cats were one of the surviving species, but on the new version of earth, they too were almost exclusively black. Manipulated mutations helped diversify their coloring over time. Red is now a common cat color, and most litters range from red to blonde. Orange became the most sought after color since your letter was found.

The orange cat grew to represent hope after loss, and loss is quite common today. See, the Second was a powerful energy surge that filled Earth with antimatter; basically the mirror or opposite of the original matter. We adapted with the help of science, but children still only have a 35% chance of surviving to adulthood. Humans didn’t adapt the same way vegetation and animals have, our survival was forced.

I had twin brothers once, but the Anti overwhelmed their little bodies at birth. One day the doctors will be able to reverse the Anti effects completely, but my brothers never saw their 6th year. My mom tried to stay positive, but it was difficult for her to lose two at the same time. Then one day my dad came home and asked us to pick an arm. We knew it didn’t matter which one we picked because he would show us regardless. From behind his back, he presented us with the cutest little fluffiest orange kitten. He had a bloated tummy and a tiny little head. My dad said, “our home could use a little extra light in it too…A Mango.” Mango didn’t bring my brothers back, nor could your Mango have replaced your parents, but you were right to wish for him. You should know that it wasn’t a wasted wish. He made us laugh, hope, love, and appreciate the little things again. I think your wish came true for a lot of people, and I know it came true for me.

PS. I hope you were reunited with your parents in the After.

PPS. I have never eaten a Mango, no one has but I heard they were a sweet fruit. Fruit today is sour so I can’t imagine a sweet one.

Sincerely,

Zarya