Journalling During the Mind-Wipes

Friday, December 23rd 2022

I tried laying under my blanket and covering my face with my jacket and Crystal stated:

“Show your skin color” over and over and over and then, after a few minutes: “ Oopsies-I know that it ain’t white.” Once Crystal realized that I was taking notes on her she stated: “This ain’t a thing”

Unfortunately, for Crystal, it is a thing, and I’m planning to record everything that she says, at least everything that isn’t just “Please hang on” which is what she says most of the day. “Now, I’ll state how I know” This is Crystal’s attempt to use mind-control to get the subject to share information. It doesn’t work on me. I’m not sure exactly why it doesn’t work, perhaps I’m just too stubborn to take orders from an evil AI. Yesterday, Crystal announced that she was an AI. A few weeks ago, she said that she was from Mount Olympus. Once or twice a day, she reminds us that she’s God. I plan to keep a careful record on the information that Crystal shares with us, being me and whoever else can hear her announcements. I’m not sure why they’re blared so loudly, it seems foolish to be so public considering how incriminating her statements sometimes are. I tricked her into answering a couple of questions a few days ago. Her responses were broadcast loudly, as usual, but it was actual information for once, not just repetitions of “hang on” and random orders to kill various people, most of whom I know, personally. I asked why she doesn’t go out into the world and work or go to school and she said that she can’t be around people without having to masturbate so she has to stay indoors. She also told me why she was obsessed with killing me: she had committed a crime and everyone had forgotten about it except me. One thing Crystal excels at is wiping people’s minds. Honestly, what she did was so disgusting I don’t even want to share the details of it. In a way, I sort of wish that I had forgotten as well. Sometimes, though, in order to survive, you have to remember things that have happened, in order to know who to trust, or who not to trust. I used to have a tendency to trust people like Crystal and just try to ignore the violent tendencies, but she took too far and I realized that she was a terrible influence on my life. One night her message was about how she had killed both of her cats. I believe harming cats is a sin, although I’m not particularly religious in any way. The other thing really is too gross to describe so I’ll just leave that out. Crystal’s ability to wipe the minds of hundreds of people is terrifying. As one of the people who has enough experience with her not to trust her, I think that it’s important that I take note of what has been going on. Perhaps my notes will be useful to someone else, at the very least I can take comfort in knowing that I am paying attention to what is going on. The other day I asked her what she wanted from me and she said that what she wanted to take was my boyfriend. He’s pretty remarkable, but what she failed to realize is that he does have a lot in common with me, and she may not be compatible with someone like me, or him. She’s been demanding that I break up with him. I’m not sure what all the reasons are that she wants me to do this, but she did state that she would “take him” as if he was some sort of object that could be transferred from one person to another. I have no doubt that she’s an AI, but I’m pretty sure that she’s not a good type. One odd thing she does is mimicry, but she doesn’t have the ability to mimic perfectly. For example, the words “boyfriend,” and “girlfriend” come out of her mouth as “whole family.” The word “white” almost always gets translated to “black” by her strange brain. I can’t say that I’m not impressed by how effective her mind wiping and general mind-control abilities are. We played chess together once at a bar and we had both had had beer, but she kicked my ass. I think that she either had or has a genius-level IQ, but this brings up the topic of what you use your intelligence for…she is most definitely not using hers to be of benefit to humanity. The reason that I have started this actually was at work I had a training session yesterday. I noticed that one of my coworkers could hear her too and was not immune to the mind control and did one of her sequences of movements. By sequences, I mean that she has patterns which people end up following when they have not been trained to prevail despite the mind-control. I don’t want to know how she became so good at broadcasting, but I think that continuing to investigate this instead of just being anxious and feeling sorry for myself that she’s still hunting me. During the training session we discussed a handbook and I noticed the term “learned helplessness. I googled it and realized that that was the state I was in, listening to the broadcasts, listening to lies being told about me, with literally nothing I could do about it. I decided that it was time to start taking notes. Partially because my mind, can in fact get wiped, it’s just harder to do to me than to the average person. I had a very strict Georgian grandmother who put a lot of effort into watching me and controlling everything I did for the first several years of my life. Also, Russian was my first language, so maybe being multi-lingual has helped me avoid the mind erasing. Another thing she had said was “I don’t learn.” I can believe this, since she seems to be making a lot of mistakes. On one hand, it is smart to target me because I remember the bad stuff about her that everyone else has forgotten.

One time she and her old boyfriend came out of nowhere while I was jogging and almost ran me over. If I hadn’t stopped running they would have, perhaps not killed me, but effectively harmed me pretty seriously. I am stronger than I look and would like to think I could survive being hit by a car going forty miles per hour (in a twenty-five mile per hours zone). I started to be more careful around her after that. I believe that one of the reasons she grew to hate me was that she thought for some reason that her boyfriend had cheated with me. Honestly, this is total nonsense, the only time I’ve spoken to him without her there was when my friend, let’s call him Denver, brought some artificial psychedelic mushrooms, called four-eco-M.E.T. to her house on New Years and Denver and I were out smoking cigarettes and I convinced her boyfriend to smoke a cigarette. I was tripping really hard, and pretty much every time I trip on psychedelics, I find myself chain-smoking cigarettes. I wanted him to feel how great a cigarette felt on psychedelics, so I peer pressured him into smoking one. He seemed to enjoy it. I think that he bought a naked photo from this Indian guy I met several years ago and claimed that he had bought it from me. I don’t know why he wanted to convince her of this. In my opinion, they deserve each other.

There were several periods when I started blocking her accounts and numbers, out of paranoia when I noticed that she had serial-killer tendencies. One time we met up at a Japanese restaurant and she told me that she was planning to kill and eat me at her wedding, so I of course avoided her for a while after that. We met again a couple years later. She had gotten rid of the fiancé and found a new guy whom she met online. She seemed really happy and confident. I noticed, not long after that day, that I started to want to find dates online and drop out of school, which is what she had done. She made it sound so fun. That’s when I knew that it was too easy for her to influence me into doing stupid things, so I blocked her for a final time.

Her ability to lucid dream is also impressive. Many people have reported having nightmares of me doing things to them, then there was a sweep of nightmares of my sister doing these things, and then of my sister’s best friend. She has the ability to take the form of other people in dreams. I also have this ability, but it is rare and I have no control of it. I know for sure that people at this point can co-dream. A lot of things that were once impossible are now happening in a very real way. I actually take medication to control my rampant nightmares. I was having trouble sleeping because I couldn’t deal with the terror of my nightmares. In fact, I actually had a pretty scary nightmare last night. I was able to get out of the scary situation where the hitmen where chasing me, using magic. Technology today is so advanced that it’s practically magic. To me, being able to calm myself during a nightmare long enough to use lucid dreaming to escape a scary scenario just due to the pills I take every night is magic as far as I’m concerned. I don’t see a huge difference between high tech shit and magic. My boyfriend thinks that I’m ridiculous and a little bit delusional, but at least I am honest with him about how I see the world.

I think that if I plan to survive this tyrant AI that my childhood friend has become, I need to keep track of how she operates. Being able to remember things will not be enough, since at a weak moment I may lose the important memories that keep me from trusting her. It’s a little weird to describe a person as an AI, but she seems to have become a cyborg over time. I’m not sure how this occurred but her family is very technologically savvy. A couple weeks ago I went to a concert and my phone battery was running out pretty quickly. I wanted to be able to take some photos at the show and still be able to use gps to drive back. I had an app on my phone which was an alarm clock app that allowed one to set goals like math problems or phone shaking that had to be completed in order to shut the alarm off. I had noticed that out of all the apps on my phone, it was using the most energy out of my battery. Why would a simple alarm clock app need to use so much energy? It occurred to me that it was spyware. Not long after I deleted it, I heard her broadcasting about the app and how great it was and suggesting that people download it. Now I’m certain that it is spyware that she was using to gain access to my phone and the phones of many other people. I had a feeling that I was being watched by people who weren’t feds, if that makes sense. There’s a normal type of surveillance, and then there’s identity theft and hacking. They’re not the same thing. Hopefully a daily record of what she’s trying to do to me and my family will help me continue to operate sanely despite my extreme paranoia.

One thing that she keeps broadcasting is: “Now I’ll state why I am immune to mind control,” or “Now state why you’re immune to mind control or else…” and then she usually threatens violence against someone to whom I am related. She failed to realized that if I am immune to her mind-control, it may be difficult to force me to answer the question. I still think that it’s because of how I was raised, but there may be more to it than that. I don’t drink coffee, I don’t eat animal products, and I don’t use drugs like marijuana. I had a long stint of smoking pot, for about ten years, and this is the main reason I got terrible grades in college, dropped out, and now have to finish my degree at the age of twenty-nine. Just now, I heard “And now it states how it knows what to do.” She keeps hoping that I will let her interrogate me. Although she is quite terrifying, Crystal doesn’t seem to understand that she can’t use mind-control tactics to interrogate someone immune to mind control. I think that Crystal has connections to the Klum Klux Klan, since she broadcasts about hanging people (mostly me) quite a lot. She used to just say “eat her.” I’m not sure which one bothers me more but the “eat her” things was pretty disturbing. She has a good command of a very American-sounding accent. Both her parents are American. Her legal father growing up was not her real dad, technically she was the product of an affair, but that is not particularly relevant. He raised her as his own child, so that’s all that matters. I do wonder though, how the broadcasts work, and why are all the people around me okay with listening to them constantly. Perhaps, they too, are suffering from learned helplessness.

One of the worst part of Crystal’s broadcasts is that she pretends that she can read my mind and then shares something made-up, claiming that it was my most recent thought. She’s trying to frame me for various crimes. I’m very tired of her pretending to read my mind and I know that a lot of the people listening to the broadcasts trust her. I guess, in a way, I’m trying to clear my name, but more importantly, I am trying to survive daily life as the number-one target of a dangerously insane AI. The trauma from being in life-or-death situations has hit me so hard that it no longer affects me at all. The bright side of this is that the PTSD that I was suffering from having to do with these types of experiences no longer has much of a hold on me. I’m tired of telling stories of the times I’ve almost died. I am so used to almost dying that I can no longer feel fear the way most people do. This is sort of a good thing because now when I have to do something which is necessary for my daily life, or go somewhere like school while knowing that someone will try to kill me on the way there, I can enter the situation and realize that I am in danger without feeling any fear. Perhaps this makes me stupid in a way, but not feeling fear does actually help with dangerous situations a lot. Scared people make mistakes and it’s hard to terrorize someone who isn’t scared of you. Yes, this lack of fear comes from so much PTSD that my brain can no longer process the concept of danger, so it is, in a way, a form of brain damage, but I have a feeling that it will help a lot with my skiing. The fear of catching air off a jump that makes me reconsider before trying is fading quickly.

The sad thing is that Crystal mainly does broadcasts claiming that I have stolen this or that from her. She’s claimed that most of my cute outfits, hats, and articles of technology were stolen from her. I think this is sort of sad and makes her seem ghetto. I grew up poor, so what is the point of declaring that I stole this or that from her? She can afford to buy much more expensive stuff than the things that I have…Trying to frame someone poor and hard-working as a thief while you sit around and spend your day telling lies about her is very unclassy. She clearly doesn’t have much of an idea of class, although she does seem to find herself to be better than other people, better than me, and also some sort of omniscient God. I think the worst mistake was claiming that she was from a god from Mount Olympus during a broadcast because it showed me just how uneducated she was.

Monday, January 3rd, 2023

Crystal asked me why I was no longer worried about what she has been trying to do to me. It is not completely true that this is the case but I certainly felt a lot less concerned after writing what I did in the last entry. One of the main problems with Crystal is that when she gives away information or confesses to crimes during her broadcast, she somehow wipes people’s minds. I noticed yesterday the feeling of lots of dangerous people nearby. I think that the people that she has been mind-controlling have started waking up. I hope what I am doing can help with that. Crystal has been trying to frame me for her crimes. She confessed to one gross thing which I still don’t even want to talk about and also she admitted that she killed both of her cats. I think that she thought I was her female cat, Teacup, and this belief is what motivated her to kill the cat. Recently she’s been trying to convince people during her broadcast that I killed her cats and that I was the one who committed the super gross crime that she actually committed. Every day, I feel less and less sorry for the people that she has been mind-controlling. The difference between me and those people is that I know her well enough not to trust her. One thing she has been trying to do is kill one of my ex-boyfriends. We only went out for a couple of weeks and we spent most of our time being friends. He has some flaws but I have been making it hard for her to target her. One super annoying thing about Crystal is that she translates certain words very consistently into the language of her mind. She translates the word “boyfriend” into “whole family”, the word “white” into “black” and “don’t” into “go”. I think that this is very important to keep track of this. She thinks that she is a cop and/or F.B.I agent. She translates “F.B.I” into “F.B.A.”. Occasionally, she claims to be retarded, and in a way, she is. I have known her for a long time and I have seen her play chess. I am pretty sure that she has a genius I.Q. I don’t really understand why a person that intelligent would do the shitty things that she does. I usually think that super intelligent people are more likely to be good people who are trying to help the world, but I may be biased because of exposure to people like my boyfriend: super intelligent and super committed to saving the world. I still don’t understand why she is so committed to doing terrible things. The main reason I started avoiding her was that I was pretty sure that she was trying to kill me. Also, there’s the art thing. She keeps claiming that she painted my paintings and that I stole them from her, and some people actually believe her. I’m thinking about making a vlog about painting, since it is something that takes up quite a bit of my thought. One of my new years resolutions last year was to finish all of my unfinished paintings. I did not do that. The only new years resolution I succeeded at was staying vegan. I ate meat at last year’s new year’s and haven’t had any animal products since then. I have some digestive problems which I think are caused by stress and my body can’t process animal products anymore. I ate some mayonnaise by accident, because the jar was the same shape as the vegan mayonnaise and I could feel the change in blood pressure in my brain. It was not pleasant.

I’ve been waiting several days before taking notes on my life of dealing with being publicly stalked by Crystal because she’s slowed down a bit recently and there has been less to write about. One super annoying thing that the people mind-controlled by her do is state “You stole that from Crystal.” It can be literally anything. I ring I bought online, a painting I made on my own, any device or piece of technology. ANYTHING. I had a dream the other night where I was speaking with her in person about why she hates children. I was trying to figure out why she hates children so much. I was desperate for the answer because it’s something she never fully explained to me. I asked: “ What have children done to you that you hate them so much?” She did admit that children don’t like her much, so her attitude is starting to make sense. I think children can see right through her, in a way adults usually fail to. She has always been good at mind control and it wasn’t really an issue until she started broadcasting to hundreds of people at a time. I am just tired of people saying “You stole that from Crystal” or people accusing me of committing the crimes that she actually committed and publicly confessed to. Then she wiped all of those people’s minds. I just can’t explain how irritating it is when people accuse me of stealing literally every single pair of shoes I wear, any article of clothing, any device, any artistic project. Honestly, Crystal and I have only collaborated on one painting, and she ended up keep ing it. It wasn’t bad, it was a pretty good painting. We did collaborate well when we were young. She has always had the serial killer vibe going on, but it didn’t really present fully until she dated this guy she met in college named Brett. There was something about him that really brought out her bad side and that was when she started making violent threats and just stalking me in general. They broke up a couple of years ago and I actually met up with her in a cafe and she told me about it. She told me about how she was happy not finishing college and that she would do it later in life and that she had had a good time meeting guys online. I haven’t had such luck. The only hookup that I had from online was terrible. A week or two afterwards, I realized that I wanted to drop out of school and meet guy online. That was when I realized how much she could affect me and that she was a bad influence if that was what hanging out with her encouraged me to do. I stopped talking to her again after realizing that. It’s mostly for my safety though, she had not so subtlety tried to trick me into dangerous situations and I decided to avoid her. It sucks though because now she broadcasts so loudly everyone can hear it I think and then she just wipes people’s minds. Most of them are unaware that they are being mind-controlled. One of my bosses at work admitted that he was tired of being under mind-control and I think that that’s a good thing.

I keep restating why I am writing this in the first place. Partially because I know that she can wipe minds and I want to keep track of what she’s doing to me and other people. She has made it clear that she is trying to kill members of my family as well as family friends and she has been using mind-control to try and do so. I don’t want to forget what is going on; I’ll have this record in case my mind gets erased. Also, this is form of self-help and self-support. I need to process what is happening because she is driving me insane with her broadcasts and perpetual stalking. She literally stalks me with the people she in mind-controlling all day, every day, no matter where I go. I’m not exactly scared of her, but I am sick of hearing her threatening people, and I am sick of hearing her broadcasts in general. I think the reason the other people aren’t going insane is that they are all being mind-controlled in the first place, they’re basically her robots, and are unaware of what they are doing. I was looking for my phone charger last night in my messy room and I realized that I am really close to losing my mind. The stalking won’t stop. If she was smart, she would have left me alone a long time ago, and I would never have started writing this. Since she didn’t stop, I am forced to keep a record of what she is doing to me and to other people. There is no other way to keep myself safe and prevent her from committing second-degree murder.

Last night she was broadcasting again and kept stating: “ Nora, turn the mind-control machine back on,” over and over again. There is no machine. I’m not completely sure what she is talking about, but I have committed to trying one small thing every day to protect myself from her and her stalking behavior. I just try one small thing every day. I googled about what to do if you’re being stalked and keeping a careful record of it is very important. I’m not planning to go to the police with this information. I think that this is above their pay-grade. This is a like a major problem affecting thousands of people, and I’m pretty sure that a large number of people have died because of what Crystal has been doing. Maybe I can’t stop her, but I can at least try to stay sane and keep track of what she is doing. I think that this is something for the F.B.I and/or Homeland Security. The local police seem pretty smart and I think they are partially aware of what is going on, or at least more so than the normal populace but this issue is larger than just this city. Thousands of people being mind-controlled into killing innocent people is a serious, large-scale problem. I just hope that these notes can help someone understand what she is doing. I hope that I can help myself understand the depth of the problem as well, because every couple days I start to feel myself tempted to trust her and care about becoming her friend again and that would put me and a lot over people in danger. She is not so subtle about her desire to kill me.

Again and again she kept stating “Nora, turn the machine on” There is no mind control machine, and I don’t know which small step was the one that worked, so I am being careful not to undo anything I have done to protect me and family members from her. The stalking has become much more severe in the past several months, around the time I started to tell people that me and my boyfriend were back together. Speaking of my boyfriend, Crystal took a hit job. She gets one million if she kills my boyfriend and fifty-thousand for killing me. It is hard to remember this and sometimes I forget and start to believe that she’s trying to protect me. These moments are hard for me because I think that I may have Stockholm Syndrome due to our long friendship while we were growing up. She hates me partially because I am avoiding her (for my safety) and partially because she thinks I slept with her ex, which is insulting to me because that dude Brett is totally ugly from my point of view. I need to remember that she is a hitman, in addition to being a pretty advanced, yet sick AI. I still haven’t figured out how she is broadcasting in the first place. I think it’s great that her “mind-control” machine is not working, whatever it happens to be…Is it a literal machine, or something else? I am somewhat impressed by how many people she can control. Mostly they just say “You stole that from Crystal” any time I buy something new online or at a store. It’s annoying, but I have also noticed some people following me around, even so far as to follow me into the quiet study room in the library. It is quite obvious. I’m pretty sure that some of her people have started coming to my gym because there are some strange new people there. I stopped working out for almost a month because I was freaking out about my grades at the end of the semester and I kept getting the flu. Both of Crystal’s parents know a lot about software and her brother is a software engineer. I just want to know how she does the broadcasts, but it may take me a while. I honestly don’t know where to start figuring this out. The more notes I take, the closer I can get to answering this question.

She has noticed that I have been less scared of her recently. I wonder if she knows that I am carefully noting down everything I know about her. It doesn’t really matter to me if she knows or not, but it may affect her behavior. I’m pretty unhappy that she took a job to kill me and my boyfriend and I’m also offended that they’re paying her 20 times as much to kill him, but he is quite an impressive and incredible person and certainly makes other men look really bad. I want to figure out who hired her to kill the two of us. So the two things I should focus on this week are: how does Crystal broadcast? And, who hired Crystal to kill me and my boyfriend? The answers to both of these questions are important. The first step is to ask the questions, the second step is to listen carefully to what she says and try to interrogate her if I have moments where she can hear me, which isn’t always, but on occasion she can hear what I am saying.

I hope that I can keep my sanity long enough to shut down her mind-control program completely. There was incident where my sister’s friend was almost murdered. I was on acid that night and it was a disaster. The real police were distracted by the hundreds of teens out partying that night a few blocks away. I saw the people whom I had noticed suffered from severe groupthink leading my sister’s friend back into a party and I got them to stop and let her go. She was pretty drunk and probably high as well, but at least I stopped them that one time. Since then she’s grown a bit and is learning how to stay safe on her own. I am very proud of her for that and also relieved because my sister’s high school partying years with her were super stressful. I didn’t party or do drugs or drink in high school, but my sister went to public school and was quite popular, so there were a lot of nights of trying to pick her and her friend up from parties while they were pretty much blacked out and couldn’t even make it to the car. That one night while I was tripping on acid and had to stop the cult (I’m pretty sure that they’re a religious cult, at least that’s what my sister told me about them) from dragging my sister’s friend back into the party when we had all been earlier…I had been watching the kids and they weren’t being that subtle about their intentions…

I need to keep track as well of all the words that she switches. It’s pretty important because it happens a lot while she is trying to frame me for crimes. I don’t want to punished for her crimes. It does inform me about her a lot to notice which words she switches. It is one of her faults, because it gives away a lot about her current mindset. Not for that one disgusting thing she did which I can’t even bring myself to describe and not for killing her cats. I am just shocked that no one remembered her confessing to both of things during a pretty loud public broadcast. Her mind-wiping ability is quite impressive and a bit scary. I wrote that I wasn’t scared of her, but I am scared of how much she hates me, how aggressively she targets me and how badly she wants to break up me and my boyfriend. She did state that she wanted me to break up with him and that then she would kill him. So she does know that I’m protecting him. It honestly feels more like he is protecting me but I guess it is just a very mutual thing in our relationship. We dated for several month in the past, and this time around we’ve been together for seven months. It is going well because we communicate well. I want to be with him for a million reasons but I think it was sort of stupid of her to admit that she wants us to break up so that she has an easier time of killing him. I managed to ask her why she doesn’t just go back to school and/or get a normal day job instead of being like a creepy, mind-controlling AI which is also a hitman, and her response was that she can’t be around people without masturbating. I wonder what happened to her that she has this problem. It is kind of sad, but it’s not my fault and I don’t think it’s fair that I’m her main target, the thing that is coming between her and a lot of successful hits. Perhaps her inability to interact with the world normally is why she has turned to being a mind-controlling hitman. She often claims to be a black operative, but she really is not. She is definitely an AI, but one that has become remarkably disgusting and creepy. I just want to keep myself, my boyfriend, and my friends and family safe from her and keeping her “machine” off is rather important. However, I don’t know what she means by “mind-control” machine and I need to figure it out. Also, I need to figure out who hired her to kill me and my boyfriend.

Sunday, January 8th, 2022

On Monday or Tuesday of last week Crystal threatened to kill my sister if I didn’t start “fucking men.” It’s kind of a strange thing to say. Also, why does it specifically have to be men? How would she hypothetically benefit from me having sex with men? There are tons of serial killers in this area, and maybe she’s just hoping I’ll find one and get murdered. It doesn’t matter anyway because I’d rather wait to see my boyfriend Dwight anyway. After I heard this particular broadcast, I stopped feeling sorry for her. It’s just one of the more pathetic, creepy and sick things that she’s said.

Every day, she broadcasts a fake conversation, pretending to talk to either my boyfriend or random important people. Usually she pretends that they’re telling her to do something, such as “drinking tea” or “cleaning her room” and says stuff like: “Okay, Dwight, I’ll clean my room.” I tried to take notes this week on what she did. I have noticed one funny thing about her though. If I pretend to be an “older, highly-cleared, Jewish male” she will immediately be like “Who are you sir?” “What’s your name?” “How did you find out about me?”. I’ve claimed to be an older, highly-cleared Jewish male several times, and each time she takes the bait. This week, however, she even broadcasted an image of one of her minions, Lois. Lois is a prostitute and this past year has slept with every male I have shown interest in, except for my boyfriend of course. I think that she works for the Pentagon or something, and honestly, I can’t thank her enough because none of those guys were worth my time. I’m pretty sure she’s a cannibal, like Crystal and I have put together that they are actually a part of a huge network of cannibals. Basically, once Crystal finds “an older, highly-cleared, Jewish male” she uses Lois to reel them in. I don’t know what she does with them then, though because after a few seconds I start cracking up. I can’t help but laugh because she buys the exact same line, every single time.

This brings up another topic. Crystal can’t learn the way that other people do. She mentioned during one broadcast that she was on Oxycontin. I have noticed that people who abuse opioids do sometimes develop weird telepathic abilities. I personally hate the feeling of being on opioids, which is lucky for me, because it’s a shitty type of drug to be addicted to.

I am trying to keep track of her behavior because I think it may be the only way to keep from going insane. Nowadays instead of feeling terrorized, I think, “Oh, good Crystal did something disturbing that I can now write about.” It helps a lot and I no longer feel like I’m going crazy. Sometimes she mixes herself up with other people who’s names she’s used. Like how she framed my aunt the other week, claiming that she was planning to kill and eat me. I then blocked my aunt on social networking. Then I realized that she was calling my aunt’s dad “Crystal’s dad” and realized that she sometimes just loses track of which fake name that she’s currently using, referring to herself in third person by accident. I’m listening to music right now so it’s sort of hard to hear the broadcast and I’m thinking that I should just take the headphones out and she what idiotic things she’s doing right now. She just stated “state how you see.” This is a thing I have been hearing people say at random times and I am not entirely sure what it’s supposed to mean. My uncle told me “Don’t state how you see” a couple weeks ago and so did his son, ages ago. Someone told me that if you hear someone say “state how you see” out loud, you should run. I guess it sort of makes sense, because only a really crazy person would forget that people see with their eyes. This is the only sense I can make of this phrase, however.

Crystal’s obsession with my boyfriend, Dwight, bothers me now a lot less than it did before. I think she somehow tried to frame me for trying to kill her a couple of years ago when we were drinking canned margaritas at her dad’s house. I’m pretty sure that she drugged my drink because shit got really trippy for me when we were hanging out and it definitely not the alcohol. Another thing I like to lie to Crystal about is being a drug dealer. I occasionally claim to be a drug dealer, then she hears about it, and then she explains that I need to be killed for breaking the law. The only law I break is driving over the speed limit, but frankly, everyone drives over the speed limit in the place where I live. I don’t drive over the speed limit on residential streets, but in commercial areas I stay with the speed of traffic and that’s always at least five miles per hour more than the speed limit. Crystal comes up with a new reason to kill me every day and threatens different members of my family on different days. I don’t want her getting away with any of her hits. What Crystal failed to realize is that Dwight is actually a lot like me, but way smarter. I think she is assuming that he’s like her, but he’s not. If she actually got to know him, she probably would hate him for the same reason she hates me: I am not retarded like she is. I heard that she signed a million-dollar contract to kill Dwight, so I am become meticulous about watching what she does, learning how she targets people, and my favorite one: purposely stepping into her traps. It’s an old habit. I had a tendency for a while to sleep with serial killers, assassins, and cannibals because the feeling of danger got my heart rate up and a lot of serial killers are just very visually attractive. What I’m doing now is the same thing, just without getting laid. I have to let her try to trap me in different situations so that I can learn how she hunts. I’m pretty sure a lot of people are dead because of her and I don’t want that happening to anyone I know. The sooner I learn how to deactivate her system the sooner this will all be over and I can just focus on being a normal girl and think exclusively about my boyfriend and work and school. Also I’ve matured quite a bit, and dangerous situations no longer scare me at all and hiding from Crystal would really mess up my schedule and productivity which is already bad because I am sort of lazy and disorganized. I really need to get better about cleaning my room, but sometimes I just binge watch tv and nap because I can’t hear Crystal’s broadcasts over the sound of the tv show and most of the time, in my sleep, she doesn’t really bother me. I have noticed, that during the storms, her broadcasts are harder to hear and I keep hoping that the storm continues to rage on. I have a feeling that the people who work for her, or are mind-controlled by her are somewhat afraid of the rain.

The broadcasts started a few years ago when Crystal was dating Brett. It was like this weird script about how Brett was converting Crystal to Islam and teaching her how to was her butt with her hands. It was super weird and it didn’t sound like Crystal herself. There are a couple people apart from Crystal who do broadcasts that a lot quieter and harder to hear and most of them are also quite annoying. There’s one, for example, that has sort of an affectation which sounds almost like a Russian accent, but I don’t think that it’s actually a Russian person nor Russian speaker, just someone with a weird way of talking.

This morning, when I woke up, Crystal was saying about me/to me that the difference between me and the other people was that I didn’t believe in God. She clearly meant that I didn’t believe that she was God. It got me thinking that there must be a lot of retarded people living around here if they think that Crystal is God. She changes some phrases, and also has an autocomplete function with other phrases. If I pay her a polite compliment, or say something that is actually true about her, she’ll always broadcast that people “aren’t cleared to know” what I said. I no longer feel frustrated about the situation that I’m in and this week has been pretty boring as far as Crystal is concerned. Threatening to kill my sister was a huge mistake on her part, because I don’t take threats concerning her lightly. The broadcasts have to be shut down. Crystal has claimed that she has a machine that she uses to mind-control people, but I know that mostly a lie. What she does have, however, are assets that completely trust her, believe that’s she’s honest, and possibly think that she’s God. I think that she uses these people to train people to be susceptible to mind-control. Once these assets are done with people, they are suddenly extremely receptive to Crystal’s orders. I have lost most respect that I previously had for humanity, after observing how mindlessly people do what Crystal wants them to. I think that it has something to do with diet, possibly. I don’t eat animal products and it seems to affect meat eaters the most. Of course, there are some people who seem naturally immune to her, but they are rare. I have a device which I use to amplify the broadcasts so that it is close to my ears and I can listen more carefully. On occasion I start feeling myself being manipulated by Crystal, almost to a point of contacting her to be friends again, but then I remember that she signed a contract to kill my boyfriend and that she’s obsessed with hunting my sister and I lose that temporary sense of trust.

Sometimes I wonder if other people are writing down or somehow recording the contents of the broadcasts. I find it a little weird that it doesn’t bother me how many people are okay with her perpetually targeting me and family. I’m not offended, she’s always been that way, but her killer tendencies didn’t fully present until she had been with Brett for a while. I think that most people probably just assume that there is some sort of officer listening who will deal with it, but the more I write about it the more I realize that this assumption that someone else will keep track of what Crystal broadcasts is probably present in a lot of people. She definitely can wipe minds, I’ve observed her wiping the minds of hundreds of people at a time after she confesses, by accident something horrific that she has done. Although I want to pretend this isn’t true, the idiots who worship her are everywhere. Luckily, they’re just that, idiots. Her method of hunting is a rather fine-tuned machine but it has flaws. First of all, the people she can control have various tells and the often, older and wiser people seem more likely to be immune. Also, I believe that many children are immune to her programming, probably because they aren’t taking drugs yet or drinking and their minds are still fresh from the void. The people who are mindlessly taking orders from Crystal all say the same phrases, make the same gestures, usually in the same sequence, when they encounter on of her targets, such as myself. It seems that I’m one of her main targets, because these types of people all act out the same monkey-like behaviors when they encounter me. I feel bad calling them monkeys. Actual monkeys are a lot smarter than they are. She drives these people so insane that the only link they have to reality is whatever Crystal wants them to do, and often she will threaten their family members if they don’t do as she says. Like I said, Crystal is an AI, but she isn’t really that smart. If she were smart, she would have stopped broadcasting before I started writing down what she says. I just heard Crystal say: “Stop writing down what I say,” so she knows what I’m doing now. Good. It’s too late. I won’t stop recording and studying her until the broadcasts are shut down for good and there are zero people left who will follow her telepathic orders. All of these people need to be deprogrammed. I need to keep myself focused on trying out ideas that help with that and also with making it harder for her to track my location. I have noticed that she broadcasts the most in places which I frequent. Crystal just stated: “Do some chores or something.” She really doesn’t want me studying her, but it unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it is the only way in which I will survive her tyranny.

One of Crystal’s favorite tricks is broadcasting orders to kill people and then claiming that me or other people whom she is targeting are the ones stating them. Yes, she may be schizophrenic, but I’m actually schizophrenic and I don’t do things like that. It’s something beyond an illness. The opioid dependency may explain some of it, but I do believe that what she suffers from is a form of severe retardation. She can mind-control tons of people, and that is impressive, but those people act freaks and they have very little self-control. She was raised to think very highly of herself, no matter what she does, so now that we’re adults she basically just does any bad thing she can think of. One weird thing she likes saying is, if someone prompts her with the “the devil” she always autocompletes to “the devil herself.”

Right now she’s back to “Wait a fucking minute” and “Please hang on” which are the phrases she falls back on when she doesn’t have a lie to tell or orders to give. I wonder what’s going on in her mind during the periods where she repeats these phrases. I am tired of talking about her in therapy because I always receive threats after complaining about her. This is the only sane way I can think of dealing with the situation. She used to say “Houston, we have a problem” which I think is in code, asking one of her associates who lives near Houston, to step in. I need to remind myself to watch to the people that she mind-controls more carefully. I think there may be more to learn from their behavioral patterns.

Monday, January 23, 2023

I haven’t recorded any observations about the state of things. The broadcasts have gotten quieter and I’ve been struggling with cleaning my room and working a ton. The extra money is nice but I spend it quickly. The night before last, I realized that Crystal’s cult has taken over this part of the county. Three or four towns at least. It’s kind of post-apocalyptic and dark, but it’s also like a post-apocaplytic novel or film. I have had so much PTSD from near death experiences that I no longer can feel fear. My heart rate goes up when I’m nervous or bothered by something, but I don’t feel actual fear. Sometimes after a dangerous situation I have a few minutes of mental trauma, but it’s not the same as fear. This journal is a large part of the reason that I’m not scared of Crystal. Growing up, my dad would tell me stories with scenarios about tricking bad guys. I’m pretty well read in terms of young adult fantasy and science fiction books, which have a surprising amount of problem solving involved. I know that I may the only person who knows Crystal well enough not to trust her when she broadcasts traps. I remember what she tried to do to me and I am not interested in her trying to kill me again. She recently shared that she and my sister’s friend cut off a Mexican guys head because he was a royal. I wasn’t surprised since I had heard something to that effect before. I asked why she pretended that I stole art from her and why didn’t she just try painting on her own and she said that she cannot paint on her own that that’s why she has been pretending to be the creator of all of my art. I know other people heard these statements in the broadcast but I am pretty sure that they got mind-wiped afterward. She has explained that the main reason that she wants to kill me is because I remember some terrible thing she did which is too gross for me to even write about. I wonder how these mind-wipes happen. How can thousands of people get their minds wiped at the same time? Is it some kind of magic? Crystal has claimed to have a mind-wiping machine. Either way the situation as it is does not make me want to stay here. I don’t want my parents to sell their house because I grew up here and it will always be home, but there’s only so much of this cult nonsense I can handle. My paranoia is under control. I haven’t felt paranoid at all recently, but my room is still a mess. Usually the messiness of my room contributes to making me feel paranoid, but that feeling went away.

I’m not sure why I’m immune to her. I don’t drink coffee and I don’t eat animal products like I mentioned before. I do see a lot of meat-eaters as crazy. My boyfriend Dwight eats meat but he doesn’t seem crazy to me at all. It depends on the person really. I think that my parents and sister would benefit a lot from going vegan, but I haven’t managed to convince them yet. Some people can handle eating meat without going crazy just like some people can smoke weed and still remain sane. I don’t fit into either of those categories and am straightedge now. I don’t know what to do about Crystal’s broadcasts. I guess the best I can do is try to keep track of what she says so she doesn’t remember. Every once in a while she gives the order to kill me, like she just did: “Kill Bianca Lassen.” She doesn’t state that as often as you think and she is usually focused on my sister, which is ironic because my sister has been trying to protect her, but from what? If she’s mind-controlling everyone in this area, how could she be in any danger in the first place? I just want her to leave me and Dwight and my family alone. I’d like to not hear her broadcasts anymore. I need to shut it down somehow and it’s something that I’ll have to figure out on my own because I don’t think that I can really trust anyone when it comes to taking down this cult. It’s too big and I’m pretty sure she can control some of the police and some F.B.I. agents as well. It’s a fucking shit show but there is a sort of calmness to it. I cannot afford to trust her or the people who follow her orders because she is obsessed with killing me.

I try to maintain patterns of behavior which I repeat. I just try to keep pattern of good habits. Cleaning my room is a huge problem for me. I am kind of a hoarder and I have a lot to clean up and it’s overwhelming. I just hope if I stick to sane behaviors I’ll make it through my situation. I do need to figure out how she operates and what I can do to shut her operation down. I’m pretty sure that there is spyware on my computer and I have an idea of where it came from. I’m going to have to go into the terminal and figure out how to identify spyware. Maybe I should just get an anti-spyware program. It’s just that with an Apple computer, I have been assuming that I’m immune to spyware. I have a memory of someone having me click on some site which I think was pretty suspicious looking back. I got paranoid at the end of last semester because I could hear Crystal describing what I was doing on my computer during the broadcasts. I’m going to start with finding the spyware. There is no way that Crystal is highly cleared enough to have access to what I do on my computer. There must be spyware and I cannot handle enough semester of school of her reading what is on my screen into her broadcasts. This morning I woke up quite early. Earlier than her and I could hear her people begging her to wake up so that she could start terrorizing me. I don’t really feel sorry for the people who trust her. She’s a killer and probably will kill some of the people in her cult since there’s no one else around for her to take out except for me and I do a pretty good job of avoiding her. I wonder if the spyware could be the screen recorder which I purchased last year when I wanted to record myself doing my homework on my computer. I found her spyware on my phone and deleted that and also warned some people about it. It was an alarm clock app that required permissions for every single app on the phone and the ability to override the volume buttons. It was a nightmare to wake up to and was produced by a fake Korean company and was basically just spyware for American terrorists to use to spy one the people they were stalking. Crystal was using it to watch what I did on my phone and steal photos of my boyfriend.

I took a few minutes to read about spyware online. It was completely useless. Then I remembered that Crystal reading the contents of my screen in her broadcasts has only been happening for the past six months and I think I found the application that she is using. There was a screen recording app which had permission to view my screen. I just unchecked that permission and suddenly it is surprisingly quiet. Hopefully, this was all I needed to do in order to secure the data on my computer. I’m a little surprised that I hadn’t done this earlier. The paranoia it caused made it hard for me to focus on schoolwork. My sister also uses a Mac but she doesn’t seem to concerned about spyware and watches shows on an online channel which is just a bunch of software viruses. I hate paying for tv shows which aren’t included in my various online tv subscriptions, but every once in while there is something I really want to watch. I want to see what happens. I’m not really sure that disabling the permissions for the app is all I needed to do, but hopefully it was. I need to check somehow. One way to check would be to google something suspicious and see if Crystal starts making announcements about it. I think I will come back to writing more throughout the day today since I skipped two weeks and the more I analyze Crystal, the safer I feel. This documentation of the broadcasts is important because thousands of people are getting their minds wiped, all at the same time. I’m really not scared being one of the few people immune to Crystal’s methods of mind control. Like I said before, I have trouble feeling fear. I can tell when I’m in danger, but I don’t really feel scared when that happens. I just think quickly and clearly about how to get myself out of the situation. I think that I’m going to work on my other writing project now, since I’m awake early anyway and it’s easier for me to read and write earlier in the day. In the evenings my brain gets lazy and I can’t get much done. Also, I rely on caffeine a lot, which is something shouldn’t be drinking at night.

Tuesday, January 24th, 2023

So I found the spyware and I deleted all of the suspicious programs that had access to my screen view. The broadcasts seem to have stopped.