I've got Control



Dear Diary,

Today marks a significant turning point in my life, and I feel compelled to document it all. With each stroke of my pen, I hope to reaffirm the newfound strength and resilience that now courses through my veins.

It all began when life seemed to spiral out of control. I was drowning in a sea of responsibilities, expectations, and self-doubt. The weight of it all threatened to consume me, leaving me feeling powerless and lost. But deep within, a tiny voice whispered, "You've got control."

I decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery. It wasn't an easy path, but I owed it to myself to find the strength buried beneath the chaos. I sought guidance from the wise old man who lived atop the hill, known for his profound wisdom and insight. He told me that true control begins with acceptance – accepting both the light and darkness within.

With his advice lingering in my mind, I ventured into the nearby forest, seeking solitude amidst the ancient trees. As the sun dipped below the horizon, I felt an otherworldly calm wash over me. It was there, beneath the starry sky, that I acknowledged my fears, doubts, and insecurities. It was liberating to confront them, to give them a name and form, and to realize that they did not define me.

In the heart of that forest, I vowed to take charge of my destiny. The journey was not about controlling external circumstances but rather finding control within myself. Like a ship navigating rough waters, I knew I couldn't control the storm, but I could control how I sailed through it.

Days turned into weeks, and I embraced new habits that empowered me. I started meditating, allowing my thoughts to come and go like waves on the shore. In the stillness, I discovered a well of strength I never knew I possessed. I also took up painting, giving life to emotions that once felt overwhelming. With every brushstroke, I reclaimed a part of myself.

Yet, it wasn't all smooth sailing. Doubt would occasionally creep back in, testing my newfound resolve. During those moments, I would return to the hilltop and seek the old man's counsel. He reminded me that control isn't about eliminating doubt but acknowledging its presence and moving forward despite it.

One brisk autumn morning, as the leaves danced in the wind, I received a call that shook me to the core. A close friend was in a serious accident and needed urgent help. Panic surged within me, and I felt the grip of helplessness threaten to pull me under. But in that moment of chaos, I heard the echo of that tiny voice within me, whispering, "You've got control."

As I rushed to the hospital, I channeled my fear into focused action. I made phone calls, coordinated with doctors, and supported my friend with unwavering determination. Though the outcome was uncertain, I knew that in that moment, I had control over my actions and responses.

Weeks passed, and my friend slowly recovered. I stood by their side through the ups and downs, realizing that control wasn't just about handling my life but also about supporting those I cared about.

And now, as I write this entry, I look back on the transformative journey that began with feeling lost and powerless. I've learned that control isn't about gripping tightly onto the reins of life but about embracing the ebb and flow, accepting the things I cannot change, and nurturing the strength to change the things I can.

I've got control, not over everything that happens around me, but over my thoughts, my choices, and my responses. Life will continue to present challenges, but I face them with newfound courage and the unwavering belief that I can overcome.

With love,

Nazy Ann