She loved it. She wanted and needed more of it. The thrill of the drug is unbelievable and gave her a high never experienced before. She now felt lonely, depressed, like the world has lost all of its colors. The way home was dark, very dark, and now the drugs have completely disappeared from her system. She sits on a lonely park bench and breaks down into tears, thinking about abstract things like infinity. But this time, the voices are not responding to her inquiries. She misses the voices. He brings forth such knowledge even if they are nothing more than auditory hallucinations. She feels utterly sad as if she has been abandoned and has nobody left in the world. He even had the audacity to walk out on her after she had given a good three years of her life. Relationships are hell; she wishes that the events of the last two weeks could be erased. This is why she has been indulging in the high; it is a high like no other it seems to break down the walls of reality.
The man who provided her with this gift … whoever he is... a dark shadowy figure who comes by ever so silently at strange and random locations. Always with a strange smile on its face as if he too is enraptured in a world of synthetic bliss. There are times that she admits she would just like to go back, move back with mom and dad and admit they were right! Right about the cheat? Right about how he would leave to go carousing around town? That philandering creep and he had only made her dependent. But at the same time she craves the high and for some reason, her “friend” is nowhere to be found. The thought is interrupted by some rustling in the bushes. Perhaps a fox? Or a serial killer? Each one brings forth a new set of possibilities? Maybe one will just lead to her death? Then he appears. Tall and pale, with a ghoulish appearance a strong resemblance to Nosferatu? He walks toward her silently with a broad smile on his face. His pupils dilated he seems to be not on this planet.
“There child, here you go.”
His voice was cold, but oddly comforting, like the ever distant grandfather who hid dark secrets in his basement. She takes it silently, he smiles and walks away without saying another word until he seems to vanish ultimately. Sights and sounds now fill her eyes; the colors seem to come alive. Can she see music and hear trees? The Winds they cried, Mary? This is what heaven feels like. She walks around excitedly like a child exploring the world as it needs to be seen. Gone is all the ugliness, the sadness, the madness of the "real life." Instead, before her she is enraptured by an enhanced fantasy, a place where dreams come true. Looking into the night sky, the stars seem to be calling her name. They twinkle ever so brightly, heavenly bodies nearly burning her eyes, but their blinding light feels so beautiful. The stars seem to be getting closer and closer; she can almost taste them, their desperation, their anguish… they seem so human? So far away? Are they children up there? She wants to giggle and dance about she has never felt so carefree. Then he appeared again. Standing before her. Tall, pale, yet eyes were blazing a brilliant aqua… he seems so beautiful under the starlight as if he is not even human? Why is he standing there? Why does he continue to watch her every move intently? There is a self-satisfied smile on his face but he made no aggressive moves toward her, she felt safe. She tries to walk toward him but now he seems to be backing away from her, the smile almost permanently in his face a secretive smile as he stares at her, yet there seems to be another emotion swirling within his blazing aqua blue eyes… in fact she can sense a strange sort of melancholia, a type of sadness. Suddenly he turns and starts to walk away each step getting faster and faster, no she does not want him to leave! She felt so safe; she wants to stand before him, to look up into the stars with him?
“Come back! Please!”
She screams louder each time, but he seems not to pay her any mind, she wants to run but suddenly she can’t. Everything feels so bright around her, but inside she is filled with a terrible sadness, it looks like she is coming down from her high. She weeps openly…
He can’t help but cry. As he looks at her through the glass, she still seems so lovely despite all the breathing apparatuses which are keeping her alive… in a way… The accident was terrible; she lost so much blood… war is hell. She was his partner, a lover, a friend. He looks at her and his blue eyes fill with tears. The doctors keep promising that maybe one day she will awaken again. Maybe one day, they can do what they do on the typical Wednesday night, a picnic under a blanket of stars dancing under the glow of the starlight.