I sit on my desk with my head in my hands trying to process the events of yesterday. I don't know my power fully but I hope I can get it under control soon...
[Two days ago]
The morning sun blinds me, it makes me feel drowsier for some reason. I decide to open the blinds, and brew some tea. I look down at my phone and realize I only have about 30 before I have to go to class!
I hop in the shower and quickly clean myself and swiftly brush my teeth and take my tea to go. Rushing to the subway, the crowds of people slow me down. I don't know how I am able to make it on class on time.
I sit down in my usual spot and look at the board, looks like we're learning about the witch trials, the irony is not lost on me. Let's just hope this school is a lot more open-minded than my last one.
Just before I'm able to put my books on my desk, this guy walks up to sit down next to me, brunette about 5' 9" but I don't view him as short. I'm easily intimidated by guys, I usually don't socialize with them due to me being what I am.
"This seat taken?" he asks in the most gentle of voices.
"N...no, go right ahead," I replied softly trying to hide my blushing.
He takes a seat and flips his book open. It's strange, in school we don't have assigned seats but we sit in the same seats everyday. I dig into my mind and try and recall where he usually sits and then it dawns on me, he usually sits behind me, curious.
While the professor drones on about things that I already know, I start to doodle. I catch him out of the corner of my eye gazing at my work, and he smiles but says nothing.
After class I go to pack up and I drop my pen, he picks it up and hands it to me. When he places it in my hand, his hand caresses my hand ever so gently, I feel a shiver go down my spine; in a good way.
"Thanks!" I reply and I do my nervous tick where I brush my non-exisitant hair behind my ear. When I was younger I had longer hair and developed that tick. Most of my schemas when it comes to attractive men is nervousness, so immediately I begin to blush and brush my hair back.
"No problem," he replies and grabs his bag and smirks as he exits the classroom.
Just as I get home to my apartment, I start to feel a bit better. Just one brush of the hand and I crave intimacy like none other. I feel so weak and vulnerable. I'm such an idiot, I always have a habit of giving my heart to the first guy that shows me attention.
[One day ago]
I get to class on time I couldn't sleep last night at all, I kept thinking about class and if he was going to sit next to me again or not. I felt so stupid, why was my mind on it? He literally spoke with me for less than what had to be two minutes at the most, but I couldn't stop obsessing over him. I felt like I was in high school all over again.
The window was open and I felt a cool breeze waft into the room, it felt nice. I then get a sudden scent of cologne, something that smells wood like but not too masculine; a gentle smell. The mysterious guy who sat behind me comes up and takes a seat (he switched seats again).
"I'm Liam by the way." He spoke in a much softer tone and he didn't wear cologne yesterday; it was oddly comforting but unusual at the same time. I tend to stick by myself and didn't know if he was wearing cologne because of me, or if it was purely coincidental.
"Evan, nice to meet you," I responded
The rest of the class was quiet, there were no pen drops or meaningful look exchanges other than the usual eye corner gaze. I didn't doodle as much because I got really nervous; I'm an amateur at doodling and usually I don't show anyone my work.
"Well, that wraps up the quarter. Two more classes until winter break!" Proffessor Charlie ecstatically exclaimed. He seemed extraordinarily excited for winter break. He shared that over the break he was going to Bora-Bora, his first vacation in a decade.
Just as I started to pack up.
"What are you doing for the break?" Liam queried.
"Umm...I don't really have anything planned. I was just gonna stay in my apartment and really just get ahead of the homework," I replied and felt like a nerd.
"W...wow. That's super responsible."
"I know, I'm boring like that. I like having tasks and distractions."
"So, you're not visiting family or anything like that?"
"I...I don't really get along with them." I mulled over explaining why but I wasn't sure on his view. I was taught that politics, religion, and other hot button issues when you first meet someone is not to be discussed.
Just as I started to get nervous, the wind started to pick up.
"Well, me and a few of my buddies are throwing a winter bash, you're welcome to come. I'll text you the details." He hands over his phone for me to put my number in.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun! I'll be sure to check it out."
I give him his phone back and as he starts to walk away I stop him.
"Hey...I should ask. How many people are going to be there?" I asked nervously.
"Umm...it really depends. It's winter break so a lot of people are going back home so, we don't have full details yet. We're just gonna kinda see what happens. Why? What's up?"
His tone seemed concerned, almost like if I was going to show up, he was going to be disappointed.
"I just...a lot of people makes me nervous, and then I usually end up drinking too much and it would just...be bad," I replied.
"I'm kinda curious to see you drunk though!" he flirted? I'm not used to guys being so straight forward so it was really hard to tell his tone.
"I'll think about it."
"Okay well I hope I see you. It'd be nice to have a familiar face."
On the way home, I kept thinking about the party. It wasn't for a couple of days but I still was really nervous. I decided to light some candles and take a bath with salts. While in the tub, I had my eyes close and I felt the earth, the water, the wind, and every living thing in me. It felt ethereal. It made me want to go to the party, but fear it even more.
When a witch gets too much power, it can change them. It's changed me once or twice, and it's hard to go back. You start to crave power any way you can, and the only thing that weakens you is your heart. None of my past relationships (or attempted ones) knew about my witch side. I hid it from my family because my mom seemed certain it was either going to get me locked up in a psych ward, or burnt at the stake depending on the town.
[The night of the party]
After my shower, I get out feeling the best I've felt in a long time. I take two shots, and brush my teeth and put my hoodie on. Looking deep into the mirror, I don the widest grin.
I show up to the party already pregamed and low and behold, Liam greets me.
"Hey! You made it! *hiccup*" He beams at me and gives me a hug. Looks like I'm not the only super happy person when intoxicated.
"We were just about to play spin the bottle! Wanna play?" he asks suggestively.
"I'm not one to pass up a game!"
We sit down and there are eight players: three guys including me, and five girls. I'm nervous so I start to drink even more.
I spin and I really hope that it lands on him. It doesn't and lands on the girl next to him. I start to get even more nervous but decide to make him jealous.
We kiss for less than five seconds.
He takes a spin and it lands on me. My palms start to get sweaty and I start to get even more nervous. I drink a little bit more and we make-out.
The moment we kiss I feel it spark inside of me. My very skin feels like its on fire and I feel a piece of him absorb into me. I have to resist taking all of him in.
We stop and I feel every part of me start to vibrate. I sit back in my spot and the rest of the circle is looking at both of us strangely. I start to blush again.
The rest of the night after that was kind of a blur. I only remember bits and pieces. I ended up trying to leave early because I just got so overwhelmed.
"Hey. Leaving so soon? It's only 12:45!" Liam caught up with me before I left.
"Yeah. I'm getting kind of tired."
"I can give you a ride?"
"I...that would be good but can you even drive?" I asked concerned, more for his well being than mine.
"I sobered up about 20minutes ago. Having a fast metabolism is a blessing and a curse!" he chuckled lightly.
During the car ride I had my side of the window rolled down. Usually I hate it because of the way the air unevenly makes that whooshing sound, and it drowns everything else out. But if you have the window rolled down just enough, you get the perfect draft of cool air and the sound being just right; it's paradise when you can't afford to go.
"You okay?" Liam piped up.
"Y- yeah...I'm fine I guess. The party was just...surprising."
"I don't usually go to many parties anymore. Crowds are tough for me, I always overhear people whispering things like 'freak' or 'f**'. I grew up in the country so...people don't usually take to kindly to gay people. I'm honestly shocked you're being so nice to me."
He paused for a moment and it instinctively made me panic. I wasn't sure if he paused because I admitted to being gay or because he was thinking of a response.
"My opinion on people like that, are that they are close minded and stuck in their ways. You'll fit in a lot better here, you don't have to worry about stuff like that as much."
His response comforted me in a way that I wish I had when I was younger; the lack of fear, judgement, and scrutiny.
"Thank you, Liam. I really appreciate everything."
"What are friends for?"
Huh. Friends. With a guy. Who would have thought; I don't have many male friends because the "straight" ones either feel like experimenting and don't take into consideration the toll it will take on me emotionally (and I know I'm not the only one), or because they don't quite fit into the just friends category.
There's always a weird middle ground, a flirtation-ship category and you're not quite sure if you want to entertain that thought or if you want to abandon ship. So you put it on hold and that relationship naturally either turns into you guys never speaking again, or one or both of you trying something and realizing that it was a mistake. Generally, it's the first one.
"I'm not used to many guy friends..."
"I can tell. That was quite some kiss."
I immediately started to blush and I was ever so grateful that I was still drunk. I do my nervous tick and turn up the radio.
We arrive at my apartment and I thank him for the ride. As I go to unbuckle my seatbelt, he just plants the most gentle kiss on my cheek and it stuns me.
"See you in class." He waves
I finally make it to my bed, my mind reeling about everything.
I get to class with a bottle of blue gatorade and he sits back in his normal spot instead of next to me. WTF?!? Did I do something wrong? I kept trying to recall the events of the party. I don't think I drank too much and got lushy? Most of the time when I get drunk I get overly emotional to strangers and end up kissing them if they ask, or just getting really dancey.
Class is awkward and I miss the most important part of the Salem Witch Trials, although nothing I didn't already suspect; all of the people accused were innocent (I looked through the text book after). Yes I know, I'm a geek.
After class is over, he just walks right past me like I mean nothing. Now I really can see why most of the witches kept to themselves. It's harder in the city because there's not an advertisement of them. Back home, there was a local Wiccan group but honestly, I kind of hate Wiccans; they're the vegans of the witch umbrella. I'm a pagan, technically neopagan. It's a new version basically without the sacrifice of animals.
I don't really talk about it to people, as it makes potential partners weary. Media has really changed everyone's perspective on witches and what we can do. In reality, we're just like regular people we just know more tricks in life. However, once we become drained it's one of the worst things ever, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Being drained feels like all the energy you have has just plummeted but it's like this indefinitely until we can get it back usually with the next full moon, but for some reason lately I have been blocked. The party gave me the extra boost I needed so I'm hoping with the next full moon I'll be back to normal, but it's unlikely.
Parties are a quick pick-me-up but we usually need intimacy. In a new town, I have no close friends and no intimacy. Liam was kind of the cure I was looking for. When we kissed, I felt his essence and energy drain into me. Usually I'm more careful though, controlling how much I drain from them but I felt myself start to lose control.
It feels so good to lose control though. Once you lose control and you have enough power you feel like a god, it's euphoric. I crave partners so much because when I'm at my peak, so are they and through intimacy we can be at the same level. Generally most "witches" (it's just easier to say that) like to gain power through sex however, I've found that kissing is the best way for me; it forces me to not drain them too much and even if I do, they don't seem to mind.
With sex if you drain them too much, they start to get your memories, your dreams, and you two start to become one. If it's not with the right person, it becomes damaging on you both; like trying to fit someone else's car keys into your car. Last guy I had sex with was good, but he wasn't the one. I still feel him crawling all over me and I'm trying to move on as best as I can.
I look in the mirror again and I see something else peering back. "Let go," I hear a voice clear as day. The man peering back at me was not me and he has a smile on his face. This has never happened before, especially not after a party I should be fully charged. I start to Google things that other witches have felt and basically I need energy ASAP.
I want to send Liam a text but I don't want to seem desperate; I'm a disgrace for witches. Most of us tend to just go for it and can flirt so easy but for me, I just struggle. I debate waiting until tomorrow but I can't afford to risk it. Fuck it.
House keys in hand, I decide to go out clubbing.
I get to the entrance and I already can feel like this is going to be a rough night. I immedietly go to the bartender and order two Moscow Mules. See most people make the mistake of ordering shots, shots get you in trouble, mixed drinks make you perfect.
I turn to the back of the club and I see a pole. I chug the Moscow Mules and I start to feel the music flow. I start to dance and move my body, I'm gravitating towards the pole. I grip the pole and the DJ sees and merges a new song with the mix.
Glass Animals is my favorite band and I feel every beat, every rhythm, and every syllable. Club attenders start to stare and awe. I've never had that many eyes on me, and with such positive attention. I start to pour even more energy into my dancing.
After, three different guys are offering to buy me drinks.
When I finally am ready to leave the club, when Liam texts me.
Me: "Heyyyyy sorry I'm super drunk right now!"
Liam: "That's okay. I wanted to apologize for not sitting next to you today...well yesterday technically I suppose."
Me: "It's okay. It's not that big of a deal."
Liam: "Can I apologize by coming over?"
As I arrive to my apartment, Liam is already at the door smoking a blunt.
"Bold?" I asked
"I saw the neighbors doing it so I figured it was a chill neighborhood!"
"*Hiccup* I'm still a little tipsy."
"I can tell!"
I open the door and invite him in.
He puts the blunt out and grabs a bottle of wine from his bag.
"How'd you know that that was my favorite?"
"You drunkly told me last night."
"Oh haha! Drunk me, always blabbing my favorites!"
"Don't we all?"
"Last night after the party, my friends started talking about everything overall and I got nervous. I knew if I sat next to you again, it would raise suspicion so I decided not to."
"Like I said, it's not that big of a deal."
"Are you dense? I'm trying to apologize. I don't want you to think I'm some asshole and I actually care about making a good impression."
"Sorry, I don't do sentimental well...do you have any more weed on you? We could hotbox the car/bathroom."
He reaches into his jacket pocket and reveals another joint.
We end up sparking up in the bathroom, I turn on the fan so the upstairs neighbors don't get too much of a whiff.
He kisses me again and I am stunned.
"You keep doing that."
"Yeah, I figured I wanted to make up for the seat thing."
I knew that I should have stopped. I knew that it would only confuse things for me and possibly him too. But I couldn't help it, I needed the power.
We start to make-out and he pushes me against the counter. He starts to kiss my neck and I feel like biting him, which is weird but I've never been this drained before.
My legs are wrapped around him and he picks me up and slams me against the door. I've never been in a sexual situation like this before. I actually liked it a lot, the aggressiveness of it. I feel infinetly better the amount of power that I'm able to draw is...astonishing.
The veins around his face start to show as I draw his essence into me. He gets grey around his face and I feel him start to go cold. I pause but he tries to keep kissing me. I stop again and he seems confused.
"What's wrong?" he asks, his face still grey.
"It's not you, I just think we should slow it down."
"Come on...you were having fun."
I look in his eyes and his face and he is beyond drained. What have I done?
"I think we should pause. I'll see you in class tomorrow."
"Fine." He storms off.
I wake up the next morning super early. I sit in my desk with my head in my hands trying to process the events of last night. I had never been able to drain from any guy like that before.
In class things got a little bit more weird. He sat next to me wearing a different cologne.
"Last night was fun," he whispers in my ear so gently and so softly. I grasp my book ever so tightly.
"Yeah." I turn to look at him and realize he still looks grayish.
"Do you want to come over after?"
"I...I don't think that's a good idea, I have to prepare for Christmas break."
"Commmeee onnnnn. You're not doing anything anyway, you said so yourself."
"Yeah, but I wanted to work on my cooking and have friends-mas."
"I wouldn't be included in that?"
"No...it's not that it'—"
The more he pushed the more I started to feel...odd.
"Liam I—" Just then I looked at him and he started to get even more grey.
He starts to grab my leg with his hands and move his hand up my thighs. I try and contain myself as we're in class but it's hard.
"Bathroom. Five minutes. I'll meet you there." I state.
"How do you expect that? He only lets one person go at a time."
"First of all, he's excited for his trip to Bora-Bora. Second of all, don't worry about it."
He immediately gets up and leaves for the bathroom.
I go to get up five minutes after and the professor tries to stop me.
"Liam isn't back yet Evan. You're gonna have to wait."
I look him dead in the eye and focus all of my energy on him.
"Take as long as you need."
I meet Liam in the bathroom for our make-out session. I couldn't help myself this time. I felt myself lose control. I drained his energy and essence and he just collapsed in the bathroom. I freaked out and I had to run and I went back to class to discover that the professor had apparently started to not feel well and had canceled class early.
This is a nightmare. I grab my bags and I rush home.
Suddenly, a knock on the door. I open it and there is Liam holding a silver knife in his hand.
"I know what you are and you're going to pay."
<This was a short fictional story that I created. I may or may not do a series>