An Alien Discussion.

Alien :1 You know you can leave here when ever you want. you don't have to stay.

Alien :2 But it feels like after all this time I have only just got here.

Alien 1: What do you mean? You've been here all along?

Alien 2: No I guess in a way I have been struggling for my entire life and now only very recently I am not suffering, I am here amongst the sun and the stars and the sky's, and tree's and birds, and fields and animals and human life, too, that too. What ever that is. I know from experience they're very corrupt. Nasty and hurt almost everything. Isn't that what we're waiting for?? Isn't it the whole reason for this? Just simply waiting for these being to wake up and see they aren't the most important race.

Alien 1: Not at all if anything they're the least important factor in this thing we call the cosmos.

Alien 2: Yeah but why is it in the first place they being so lowly have to go all these lengths of wars hate and destruction fighting between themselves. It's like watching ant's trying to be the most dominant, not knowing there are bigger more dangerous, more powerful creatures.

Alien 1: Perhaps it's because they fear?

Alien 2: What is this fear?

Alien 1: hmmm? it's something to do with survival I believe.

Alien 2: Yes must be it.

Alien 1: Must be..

Alien 2: Is that all they're good for?

Alien 1: I'm not sure ? is there anything else?

Alien 2: Good question if there is anything else. It's not being picked up by our sensors.

Alien 1: To think they had such a high potential.

Alien 2: No.

Alien 1: No?

Alien 2: Basically comparing a asteroid belt to bigger more destructive aspects of space.

Alien 1: True.

Alien 2: So what should we do with these greasy oily bastards?

Alien 1: I haven't the slightest?

Alien 2: Well we should either watch them in case they make a break through.

Alien 1: No point since they discovered the atom bomb there's just been an increase of gluttony, hedonism, wars and stupidity.

Alien 2: We could give them a genetic kick up the arse?

Alien 1: No that would lead to mutants in line with one of their treasured illusions.

Alien 2: I think the call them films.

Alien 1: Yes I have read that somewhere they enjoy far fetched lies. What kind of species think's all their momentous pioneers are just fiction?

Alien 2: Only humans.

Alien 1: Ha! we should turn that into a clothing line.

Alien 2: Yeah but they wouldn't get it.

Alien 1: No. Not like we do.

Alien 2: We should do something, before they all perish from this new strain of virus?

Alien 1: Trust them to have been wiped out by some thing they can't even see! ha!

Alien 2: Only humans! Ha! Yes!

Alien 1: Only humans!

Alien 2: Not only that we could say on the back of the clothing item something?

Alien 1: What about? "Pick on a planet your own size."

Alien 1: No?

Alien 2: There are too many of them.

Alien 1: ??

Alien 2:Sorry am trying to think what we can do to prevent another dark age?

Aline 2:How lethal is this thing?

Alien 1: Virus.

Alien 2: Yeah that?

Alien 1: I think it's killed oh about 900000 people so far. BUT it's similar to the same death rate that would have naturally happened despite this thing?

Alien 2: Does that mean there is nothing really to worry about?

Alien 1: I'm looking into it.

Alien 2: And?

Alien 1: As it looks now. It's pretty much a placebo

Alien 2: What do you mean a placebo?

Alien 1: It's designed to get every one inside and bored-another human thing. "Only humans." -again!!!

Alien 2: Hahaha!!

Alien 1: So when they're stuck indoors, they either fuck, eat, or shop. and so a marketing strategy to get them buy more crap they didn't need, and get pissed off with each other.

Alien 2: Sad really cos those humans could really have done with a bit of spring cleaning of themselves.

Alien 1: Ouch

Alien 2: What?

Alien 1: Not nice.

Alien 1: Well they do all for some reason live within fart smelling distance. even though there is literally enough land for thirty five thousand times their collective amount nearing 8 billion currently. Enough space they can have each one look literally to the edges of the horizon and not see one single person.

Alien 2: That's messed up!

Alien 1: Yep.

Alien 1: Think about it, all that distance.

Alien 2: Why do they stick together so much?

Alien 1: Even though everyone hates each other i think it links into their ancestry where those who lived together or were closer ad a higher chance of survival. It's called herd mentality akin to horses, apes, and ants.

Alien 2: They need to evolve a shit load before they get invited to the galactic senate.

Alien 1: I think they've had the offer loads of times they just generally seem to ask weirdos who smoke da herb. and by the time they manage to get anywhere near a global awakening for the planet to let everyone find out they send them to mind prisons

Alien 2: They're called mental health wards.

Alien 1: Only humans.

Alien 2: Only humans.

Alien 2: Seriously we really have to make it a new thing.

Alien 1: Omg Deja vu.

Alien 2: Why?

Alien 1: It's happened a few times before. a species becoming more well known before they even knew why they were popular in the first place.

Alien 1: Like when someone is known by a load of different worlds before they were even told other intelligent life exists!

Alien 2: Yeah! I read about that somewhere.

Alien 1: Anyway that's why we're looking at them now.

Alien 2: What are we meant to do?

Alien 1: Decide if we send the vaccine. By the way will be totally fake as this beer virus?? Am I reading that right they've concocted a fake virus so nobody drinks beer. No! the virus is named the sae as a popular beer.

Alien 2: Oh that's another "only humans" moment.

Alien 1: Anyway. We have access to all the main entertainment networks. we're going to have to ease it in there slowly.

Alien 2: Is the beer virus a psychosomatic response?

Alien 1: Definitely. Blooming heck these humans are easy to manipulate.

Alien 1: Ok so I have just finished the scheme.

Alien 2: There'll be a gradual notion there's a vaxine.

Alien 1: That's not how you spell it.

Alien 2: Ok how?

Alien 1: V.A.C.CI.N.E

Alien 2: bloody weird word. "Only humans!!!"

alien 1: Then?

Alien 2: Oh yeah.

Alien 2: Then all the test they've and have finally stopping it. Then it's worldwide cured then they're all good.

Alien 1: Then what do we do, in a few years? they're stuck in the same mud they're always in?

Alien 2: Ah bummer!! I can't think of anything!!!

Alien 1: Some kind of advancement? they are usually quite popular amongst the lower spectrum of half decent intelligence>

Alien :1 Need something new?

Alien 2: Legalize all drugs?

Alien 2: That would work!!

Alien 1: Tip the balance?

Alien 2: Could turn into a recreational park like planet and when everyone's nice a high, introduce the rest of the galaxy?

Alien 1: Hmmm??? I'm thinking, yes we could tip the balance. As we all know for there to be something a great as an all legal drug planet, something else has to keep the scales level.

Alien 2: I just ran it through the simulator, five thousand times. 4999 times it was the best thing to have happened although they as a unified entity clime the ladder of advanced beings, even let go of their physical ties.

Alien 1: Best not to tell them that's why they're here in the first place to keep the rest of the universe as ground level roots and there for stable

Alien 1: No. We simply can not lose them.

Alien 2: I think they've had enough of going round and round.

Alien 1: If it's all they know? Some have seen beyond.

Alien 2: I'm thinking after all this beer problem.

Alien 1: It's named after the beer.

Alien 2: Chicken or the egg?

Alien 1: Don't start that again, waists too much time even though is fun.

Alien 2: Sorry

Alien 1: OK the next step is..... drum role....

Alien 2: The actual definite build up to contact from us, the Aliens.

Alien :1 They are more alien than us

Alien 2: Only thing I can think of. oooh??

Alien 2: What? what if....??

Alien 1: Yeah

Alien 2: We, the Aliens bring them the cure???

Alien 2: Earn their trust straight away??

Alien 1: Could work? Run that through,

Alien 2: Ok so well gathering that it say's on the read out 79% are convinced we are out here. so yeah. lets continue with and do that.

Alien 1: Ok tomorrow. It'll come forth there is a cure.

Alien 2: Make it out so the news team all know about it. Act all shy and nervous and gradually explain where the cure is from.

Alien 1: let them hang onto the cure for a while. Then out side sources and leaks through out social media as a joke.

Alien 2: Then in a few months they come out officially that these beings from another planet saved mankind!!

Alien 1: What then from there?

Alien 2: Well then we teach them all about world peace. How to Party hard. and invite those who are ready to some of the galaxies other worlds and civilizations most amazing and exotic locations

Alien 2: Just what we don't need! More space-tourists.

Alien 1: ambassadors.

Alien 2: Then gradually build up their technology's to a satisfactory standard

Alien 2: Hey presto.

Alien 1: Nobody says that no more.

Alien 2: I just did,

Alien 2: Give them the kick start they need?

Alien 1: Ok. Few more times in the simulator.

Alien 1: Evaluate all possible problems. Back up error finding and create in case solution tactics.

Alien 2: Yep we're there. haha!

Alien 2: This is exciting!

Alien 1: Indeed!

Alien 2: Guess what?

Alien 1: What?

Alien 2: I've already started the manufacture of "only humans"

Alien 1: Really?

Alien 2: yep!

Alien 1: Cool!

Alien 2: OK humans get ready for first contact!!

Alien 1: Cos here we are a coming!!