All Fire

A fiery spirit, that's what we're called. I never thought it would be literal. I'm an Aries by birth, but I always thought I was a pretty reserved and quiet person. It was one tiny incident. Just a small one. Nothing that would get most people's panties in a twist. But me, I have no clue what happened. Maybe it was the cherry on top of an already toppling cake, the accumulation of bad moment after bad moment that day. Either way, the volcano erupted.

The day started as it normally did, with me being startled out of sleep by a shrieking alarm, a rude awakening to what I could only call a terrible day. I didn't think it was terrible as I was brushing my teeth, or getting dressed, or grabbing a piece of fruit as I ran out the door. It just was what it was. A day. What determined how it came to be terrible was the small collection of events that I chose to try and ignore because they left me feeling a little bubble of rage within that I tried to put to one side. That bubble. That freaking bubble.

On the train to work it was weirdly busy. I'm used to it being pretty crowded and ignoring the fact that there were always a lot of people around by putting in my wireless earphones and picking a song for the 30 minute journey that I would play on repeat, just to see how many times I could listen to it in that half hour. It was a strange challenge I enjoyed. I'd pulled out one from my little carry box it came in and successfully popped it into my left ear. The train lurched as I was pulling out the second earphone. I watched in horror as it jerked out of my hand and flew down the carriage, stopping to land beside shuffling feet that struggled to stay standing whenever the train would lurch crazily. I tried to move towards it, tried to keep it within my sights but as the train did it's thing and lurched again, one of the passengers shifted her boots. One of her feet landed on the earphone. I only watched with my mouth open in a silent scream as I imagined the crunch it made when she stepped on it. Those were Doc Martens. Against a small earphone. Guess what won?

By the time I'd made it to my precious little earphone, it was in bits. The woman had disappeared further down the carriage, unaware of the damage she had wrought. I was screwed. I had to put up with the noise of the train, rattling along the lines, noisy passengers talking loudly on phones, or to each other. There was a baby wailing somewhere and my eyes forced themselves to shut tight as though getting rid of my vision would make the sounds go away. It got worse. I tried to breathe slowly and calmly.

A half hour later, I was stumbling onto the platform, dazed and deafened. I could feel the beginnings of a bad headache developing, my mouth dry. Walking towards the stairway that led to the exit, I was pushed by a man in a suit, holding a polystyrene cup of coffee, the contents finding their way miraculously to my blouse. As it splashed, I felt the heat sting my skin through the soft cotton and gasped in shock. The man just looked irritated, as though I'd taken the cup out of his hands and poured the damn thing down myself!

I took a deep breath as he walked away, grumbling to himself. It's okay, I thought. It couldn't get any worse. My work was just a block away from the station, so what else could go wrong in that time? I had a spare shirt at work, so I'd be able to change and carry on with my day. I had pain relief in my top desk drawer, beckoning me so that they could soothe my pain away. It was okay.

My bag wasn't old. It wasn't even made of a frail material. I don't know whether it was bumping into Angry Coffee Guy, or the assault the train put me through, but the side of my bag had a tear in it which only widened, sending the contents everywhere. It was getting ridiculous now. It's like all the bad vibes in the world had decided to pick on me today. All I did today was swear at my alarm. Should I have praised the stupid thing instead?

I managed to gather my belongings and put them in what was left of my bag, holding the tear together and cradling the bag as though it were made of precious jewels. I didn't need to lose any more of my stuff today.

By the time I'd made it to my little desk in the corner of the office suite on the fourth floor, I felt harassed. I had been stopped every two minutes by some idiot acknowledging the broken bag and the coffee-stained shirt, laughing at my misfortune or pitying me. My mind was buzzing with pain. I needed water, then the pain relief. As I walked to the water cooler with my cup in hand, I failed to notice my manager staring with disdain at my shirt.

"Are you unable to make it to work without looking like you had a rough night? You know the dress code, so get yourself straightened out."

I froze. Turning slowly, I faced the manager and mustered up a small smile. "I had an accident on the way to work. I had a couple actually. I'll get myself straightened out when I get myself a cup of water from the cooler first. At least I wasn't late like Rob over there." I pointed to a gangly six-foot nothing running down the corridor, trying to keep his briefcase in his hand as he navigated through the people, rushing to make it to his office.

The manager looked at me and nodded before walking off. I breathed. It was okay. It could have been worse. I made it to the water cooler without any incidents and as I pressed down on the button to release the water, a cool jet of water splashed my face and dripped down my neck and onto my shirt. It was broken. And I bore the brunt of it. I spluttered as the water hit my nose, sneaking its way up my nostrils and breathing hard to expel the irritant from my nose. My cup had dropped out of my hand and the fine porcelain had broken into pieces as it landed on the cool grey tiles, joining the puddle of mess I had unwittingly created on the ground.

This day had me by the ears like a scolding mother and was twisting them hard. Feeling finished, I left the mess as I walked slowly to my desk, sitting down, hearing the gentle squish of wetness as the water had dripped onto my chair and also made my bottom wet. My trousers were ruined now. I looked down and fought for the renewal of my wits. Of my spirit.

Then Jennifer came over, chewing on her gum loudly. "Did you hear, Laura? Some idiot broke the water cooler and left a massive mess!" She stopped as she looked at me. "Oh. Oh no, that was you. What's going on with you today? I saw your bag, it looked a mess. And what's with the outfit? What's happened to you? You're usually well organised."

I raised my eyes from hands to her face. It was just full of curiosity and ignorance to the humiliation I felt. She just stared at me with wide eyes as she smacked her lips loudly, still chewing obnoxiously. I couldn't help it. I stood up slowly and just punched her in the face. I was done. Done with this day. Done with this crap. Done with this job. And I had only been there for less than an hour.

My head buzzed with pain, my clothes were soaked, with coffee and water. My bag was broken. My earphones lost to a crazy strong shoe. As I could feel that small bubble from earlier, it just grew and grew. I screamed. Loud. This day. Small flames erupted from my palms as I continued screaming. My hair turned red and was engulfed by flames. I rose slowly into the air and vanished from everyone's sight. I was lost.

I woke up three days later, inside my home, in my bed. I had no idea how I got there. No memory of what happened. All I remembered was the fire. Surely that fiery thing hadn't been me? I wasn't capable of that. I knew I wasn't. I was normal. I had a crap day. I probably went home and had fallen asleep due to the headache. There was no way that was me. All fire.

I made my way to the office after getting ready. Simple trousers and blouse, a strong handbag. No earphones. I would have to go without them for a while. Walking into work, nobody glanced my way. Nobody paid any notice as I quietly strolled to my desk. My manager was standing there, all scorn and scathing looks.

"Where have you been the last couple of days? You freaked out in here and ran out like you were on fire."

I was confused. I had been on fire, hadn't I? I definitely hadn't imagined that. The small flames in my hands, the heat rising from my body. The punch to Jennifer's face. Jennifer's face. I had punched her. I turned with a stricken face towards the manager.

"How's Jennifer?"

The manager scoffed. "She's fine. She was a little shocked you screamed at her like that but she's fine."

"I...didn't hit her? Or burst into flames?"

"Laura, you're human, not a crazy fire person. And no, you didn't hit her. You screamed in her face for a good minute then ran out of the door like a crazy person. I'll assume you were having a bad day. You're a hard worker and it would be a shame to see you go. There's a therapist's card on your desk. She's pretty good. Go book a session with her. And I'm giving you a week off work to get yourself pulled back together. I don't know what happened to make you lose it like that but I don't want it happening again."

I wasn't fired? I wasn't a fire thing? There was no punch? As I nodded politely to my manager and thanked her, I picked up the therapist's card before walking back down the corridor I had just came from.

Getting into the elevator at the end of the corridor, I was followed in there by a strange looking woman, with a small tattoo of a ram on her neck and flames surrounding it.

"Long day, huh?" She grinned knowingly, and pressed the button for the ground floor.

I looked her up and down. Her dress sense was shocking. A cherry red dress so tight it looked as though she could hardly breathe, her caramel skin looking soft against the red. Her pumps, an equally vivacious red, were very high heeled and I was surprised she didn't wobble or stumble. She just oozed confidence in that outfit. Even her hair. Poker straight and black. Confident. She was gorgeous. Next to her, I felt insignificant.

She turned to look at me and continued smiling. "How are you feeling after the other day?"

I looked shocked. I didn't even know this woman. How had she heard about my 'meltdown', if that's truly what it was? "I'm okay, thanks. Just needed a break I guess."

"So you totally snapped, went batshit crazy and decided to burst into flames? Nice. Oh, and that punch was a beauty. Right in the beak." She continued grinning at me. My mouth hung open at what she had just said to me. She said 'burst into flames'. She saw it. It happened.

"Who the hell are you?"

"The same kind of woman as you, babe." She reached into a small clutch and pulled out a business card, handing it to me. Red. What else should I have expected from a woman who clearly loves the colour? "Call me tonight. We've a few things to discuss. I'll probably be out at a bar. I'll let you know where. You can join me. And dress a little bit...better." She raised a perfect eyebrow at my clothes and nodded once, making her way out of the elevator, disappearing into the small crowd.

I still stood there. In the elevator. Like an idiot. I was a flaming thing? Had I really been all fire? I would make sure I found out later. I needed to know what happened. The elevator doors closed as I tried to make my way out, closing on my body for a second before opening with a jerk.

Well, I guess I had a mystery on my hands.