A journey to self
finding you in all the stories you hold
I find myself in a new but feeling odd space, I’ve been on this spiritual journey for 20 years and now it seems I am transcending from needing to be spiritual to sitting and not pushing no hustle, not giving a damn how others do things just doing things my way.
Being very discerning on who I now choose to learn from and how I choose to learn, not rubbishing others for doing things their own way but actually being a cheerleader for them.
This finally actually feels right for me. it feels like I have come home and let go of the need for approval or acceptance outside of myself.
For a decade or more so much of the way spiritual business is done felt wrong to me I’m not saying it is but it felt wrong, now I see and feel that it was me picking up on the inconsistencies within me the fear of not doing this right because that teacher wouldn’t approve of because that program or model said it has to be done this way or that. Spiritual teaching and learning have been the same for me, the fear felt for not doing something right according to that boo or teacher, the fear of letting some person on the other end of a course down because I wasn’t right in the way I did something. Over the past 4 years I have been unlearning much of what I believed was how I had to do it, unlearning the teachings of your intuition the comments of that’s not right that’s not how you hear or that’s not how your clairvoyance works or even the way you speak to spirit.
Is there really a right or wrong way other than your own way?
There is no one size fits all approach
You have to do the inner work; you have to be willing to look at how you feel see know or hear things with your own perception. yes, you have to learn the basics but you don’t have to do or be the exact copy of someone else. This has led me on a new journey of self-discovery and the connection that for me has been a revelation. I have sat in judgment on myself for so long. I have been hard on myself unforgiving and unaccepting, because I believed I wasn’t doing things right.
This applies to all areas of life, not just the spiritual life but everyday life. It could be the teachers we had at school, the neighbour next door that had the disapproving stare, the grandparent that loved you, your best friend.
Any and all of these can be teachers and we cannot want to disappoint them or need their approval.
So, what changed?
Many things, the reality of stepping into the reclamation of myself, finally sitting with all of my practical and eclectic skills and seeing the practical and the natural magic I carry within me. The way I see things and react, looking at the meanings I had attached to the feelings that were attached to stories that had held me in a different belief. The acceptance that I don’t want superficial that I don’t need more skills or coursed or spend more money on someone else telling me how to do something that I already know, that I want to go deep deeper than most people go or are comfortable with. Go to the depths of the stories and meet the characters of those stories.
That I actually trust my own intuition and my own guidance, not needing to give away my power anymore.
This realisation has given me many insights and many truths about me. Its also given me a deep very deep fear to work on the fear of coming into my own power and finally being fully aligned and then leaving this earth suddenly without having had the chance to accomplish any of the things I believed I am here to do to guide and help people come to the same self-acceptance. And with those words what if after all this I am not meant to guide others not meant to make any money, not meant to do anything else except continue to heal myself ready to move into my next great adventure. The adventure of the light guide on the other side.
What if all of this everything we do to on our self-discovery journey is only to shed the layers and finally stand in our own true personal light sit back and laugh at who we are and what we thought we had to do to achieve success to achieve our higher vibration. to reach the top of the mountain.
We are all going there we are all getting to the same place just at different times and different ways.
So, the thought comes to me now.
What if this time on earth your time is simply all about you becoming the you that accepts you and approves of you without judgements or fears that you will miss out? That it has nothing to do with your work and everything to do with your purpose.
It’s time to start believing we are good enough we are worth it.
We are all worth it if we do the inner work and believe in ourselves.
Food for thought.
About the author
Donna is a lover of the mystical the magical, the spiritual. Sharing feelings that don't always get seen or heard.
She has been writing for approx. 5 yrs.
She is a published poet and lives in Nth Qld Australia with her husband and family.