Why women really cheat

Living in a relationship is not always easy. At the latest when they both live together and everyday life overshadows the romantic times of being in love, many people question their decision — after all, it’s not just the one or other quirk of the partner that gets noticed. Housework also becomes more — and this is still mainly the responsibility of (the) women. What a nevertheless so old and now again confirmed cliché. According to a French study, however, this is exactly where the problem lies: because their husbands don’t participate enough in the daily household chores, women become unfaithful. Yes, you read that right. At least 73 percent of the 10,000 respondents gave this reason for a fling. Because of the lack of support from their spouse, most women (86 percent) were upset, and often there were arguments.

Furthermore, in surveys on the topic of relationships, women often state that they rarely feel that their work and time invested in the joint relationship is appreciated by the man.

But cheating right away because of that?

Could be logical if you consider the following sequence of events: The dissatisfaction accumulates to such an extent that a balance has to be found. The girlfriends are already bleeding from the ears because of all the complaining about the partner. Sports are exhausting and you have to go to the gym first. That will certainly be totally overcrowded again. Besides, this rarely brings the longed-for recognition and satisfaction. On the contrary. Sweaty and out of breath, you feel even less attractive. So? What helps against these blues? A nice flirt. This pushes the self-esteem and is also fun. Plus, this man offers women the recognition, validation and sexual satisfaction you crave. Also, emotional and physical closeness this stranger can give them rather than their own man — at least that’s what most women say after the flings.

Impulsive act or act of revenge?

Some of you will surely shake your head now: Cheat right away because of the lack of support? Bullshit! At first glance, this sounds very mundane and like an “act of revenge” à la: If you don’t help me, you won’t get sex either. That’s certainly what you’re thinking right now. However, women shoot themselves not only in their own knee, but also in that of their spouse. Why is that?

The vicious circle in a relationship

Women who have to manage the household alone in a relationship are on the one hand annoyed because they feel left alone, and on the other hand they no longer feel perceived as a woman — that is, as a feminine, sexy and sensual being. They have the feeling of being mother substitutes, cleaners and taken for granted. Many women radiate this dissatisfaction, which in turn is just as sexually unattractive to the man as the mother role that wives unconsciously assume. His reaction: disinterest. She understands: I am not enough for him in the relationship. To make up for this lack of affirmation of being an attractive woman, she looks to other men for approval. The cheating may make her feel validated and more attractive — only 25 percent of cheaters have a guilty conscience afterwards — but for her cheated partner, this infidelity has a very strong impact on her self-esteem. In short, she first feels that she is not understood as a fully attractive partner, cheats, and then her husband feels inadequate for her. What a vicious circle.

The buck stops with both of them

If you are a man, you will certainly think “Those evil women!”. If you’re a woman, you’re probably thinking “That’s way too simplistic.” — But perhaps you will also realize that there is some truth in this.

Because let’s face it, both spouses have to wear the shoe on this one: Due to the fact that women do most of the household chores, they not only radiate less attractiveness, they are also exhausted from cleaning and thus have less time for themselves and thus less desire for sex. What to do. The solutions to the problem are totally obvious and simple: hire a cleaner to help you out, or share the household chores! If women and men do the household together, they have more time for themselves and for each other. And this time can be optimally used for sex as well — at least, couples who share household chores have almost seven times more sex per month than those who clean and tidy alone. More sex, fewer fights and no flings: well, if those aren’t very good reasons to give your loved one more help from now on.