Why do you need to know BDSM vocab

by Lena Bailey 20 days ago in advice

from experience

Why do you need to know BDSM vocab

When I started this journey of BDSM I was like everyone when they first start, I knew very little to no vocab. This isn't a bad thing unless you refuse to learn. So why does it matter? Oh it matters lets take a look at why.

There are some people who believe that it's not important to know BDSM vocab. They believe it's just an unnecessary thing on a to do list. These people are wrong because even if you are into one thing you need to know the words that go into that one thing. The only way you really wouldn't need to learn the words of BDSM is if you avoid people in the lifestyle who use lifestyle words. I'm not trying to convince anyone to learn the lifestyle but I'm just trying to show why you should learn these words.

All the reasons tie into one thing and that is so you know what you are talking about. It's not just about looking stupid or foolish. It could also get you in a situation you don't want to be in or a situation you shouldn't be in. For example pegging some people think it's any kind of anal when in reality it's a woman uses a dildo or strap on to perform anal on a guy. In that example the reason you need to know that word is because you don't want a girl chasing you around the room with a 9 inch dildo when you were wanting to stick your part in her butt.

You also need to know the vocab for negotiations. If you don't know what your partner is suggesting then you may agree to something you really don't want to do or you may say no to something you may really like. If you are a dom and they are wanting something you don't know how to do you could hurt someone or be labeled as a bad dom. If you are a sub and you agreed to something you don't really like do you really want to admit you didn't know what they were saying or would you rather know what they were talking about?

It may also be a safety issue. For example if you don't know what safe words or the importance of them you may not ask for them or agree to them. There may also be things that can trigger you if you don't know the words then you could agree to things that could lead to triggers.

It can also help you find yourself and a partner or friends. It will also help you understand this community When you get comfortable with vocab you will open this side of you that was always there but you're just learning about. Also when you start to expand your vocab you could attract better people in the lifestyle. Bad people may prey on your lack of knowledge when it comes to vocab or anything really.

Do you really want to be sitting there googling everything when you talk to people? Are you going to avoid people who know and use the words? Are you going on this journey alone? Are you not going to go to clubs or events? If so why are you in the lifestyle? This is not exactly a life you could do by yourself. Most if not all of the stuff you would do in this lifestyle requires another person.

These aren't all the reasons but they are some of them. I want everyone to have a great experience in this lifestyle.

advice
Lena Bailey
Lena Bailey
Read next: Titty Tote Time
Lena Bailey

A hot mess with a heart of gold. Kinky, nerdy and maybe part witch

If you have any questions or comments email me, [email protected]

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