What is Making Love?

Contrary to popular belief, making love really has very little to do with sex. No, in fact, making love doesn't really require sex at all.

Although, adding sex to making love can really bring two powerful parts of loving together into a relationship, and that is the ultimate goal when in love with someone.

But right now, I want to talk about 'making love' and what exactly that is, at least, what it is to me. Making love is a look, a touch, a caress. It's the adoring eyes that think you are beautiful even when you first get out of bed, with your hair a mess, looking like… well, like you just got out of bed, and still seeing that look of lust and longing in another's eyes.

Making love is that hand on the small of your back, protectively hovering to pull you closer, catch you if you trip, guide you forward, together.

Making love is jumping up to get a drink or bring a bowl of soup to someone sitting on the couch too exhausted to get up, too sick to move, and then kneeling on one knee and stroking her hair, kissing her forhead, and telling her how beautiful she is, when she knows differently—and yet, somehow, making her believe that you mean that.

Making love is holding someone close during the night when they wake you at 4 am, even though you didn't get to sleep until after midnight, exhausted, because she couldn't sleep and was scared and needed to talk.

Making love is having plans with your job that require you to be there on Wednesday evening, but you call and change your plans to be able to stay two more days so you can be there for her during a time when she really needed you, even though it meant getting in trouble at work.

Making love is trying to hide the fear in your eyes and be strong when she needs you to be strong.

Making love is making her laugh when she feels like crying, and cry when you touch her heart with a look, a touch, a word, a smile, a nudge, a wink, a tickle, a pinch.

Making love is crying after… real tears that you choke back, because the beauty of it all overpowers your senses.

Making love is making dinner, burning it because you were too busy doing 'other things' while it cooked, laughing about it while airing out the house, and then ordering pizza and salad instead, because you're both too tired from laughing to shop or cook anything else.

Making love is supporting each other's decisions, even when you don't always agree with them.

Making love means never making her feel like her pride has to take a hit because she needs help.

Making love means being angry, so very angry, but instead of angry words and frustration, you hold her close to you, and place your anger firmly where it belongs, not on her.

And making love means you let her get angry too, without worrying that she's angry with you, and letting her vent, while you laugh and say how cute she is when she gets all worked up, making her laugh, until she stomps her foot and says, "Stop it! I wanna be angry!" but she can't stop smiling.

Making love is back rubs, foot rubs, massages, kisses and hugs for no reason, long, lingering glances across the room when you think the other person isn't looking. It's making out in front of the fireplace. It's hopping in the shower together to cool off and heat things up. It's laughing, it's loving, it's sharing, it's communication that goes beyond just normal conversation.

Making love means all these things to me and so very much more.

And when you make love like this, every day, in every action, every word, every gesture… sex is amazing.

But making love is not about sex.

No, making love isn't about having sex. It's only one very small, and sometimes even unnecessary, component in making love.

I seek the love that can make love to my mind, to my soul, to my spirit… and then and only then make love to my body.

There is nothing more beautiful than that.