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Until the End

Part 2 to A Bitter End

By TashaPublished 4 years ago 13 min read
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And the story continues....

I guess they pay more for me than the others. Now the guys he brought to me weren’t random; it was always the same people, Police Officers, Attorneys and married men. I started to get comfortable with them and I was good to them and with them. Tips were wonderful; only hundred-dollar bills exchange these hands.

This is how my addiction started. Darnell introduced me to so much, the good, bad, ugly and the worst. There were times I didn’t know what drug what was. I mean I went from popping pills to snorting cocaine. I felt good and I figured I was happy and so was Darnell. Well, for the most part I was happy at least this is what I thought, this is really all I knew. Darnell seemed to care for me. We continued to do things together and have fun, but it started to be on certain days. We never discussed the men I was sleeping with I just did whatever. I seemed to be high all the time, even when I didn’t want to be, and I was high so much that nothing really seemed to matter. I didn’t know what or who I was doing at any given time. I seemed to just get used to this life I was living. The days I wasn’t high all I could think about was leaving but I never did. I just did more drugs.

One day I was in the room with this policeman and I mean I was riding his dick with a purpose. Darnell came in the room with this new chick, he must’ve told her who I was because she was quick to join in the action. I got up and Darnell looked at me as if he was about to say something, but he didn’t. This girl got on top of him and started riding him. I guess they knew each other because I mean they both had this immediate connection. She then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her. As I stood closer, she began licking and sucking like no other. I didn’t know whether to push her away or let her have her way with me.

“You like that shit, don’t you?” Darnell asked.

“Yeah, you know I do, Candy like a sweet bitch and a stiff dick.” She replied.

This was my first time every even seeing this chick. As she is having her way with me Darnell rubbing my head and whispering in my ear. “See daddy always takes care of you.” All I was thinking was what the hell. I mean this bitch was going to town on my ass, I never thought I would be like this.

She finished with me and started giving dude some head. Darnell loved every minute of it. I then grabbed Darnell and started taking his clothes off, his kisses were so passionate or at least my imagination started running wild. This was probably the drugs talking but who cares I was feeling good and really into this shit. He wasn’t trying to stop me either, before I knew it, they were tossing our asses around like a fucking football. He was doing me I was doing her, she was doing him. This was out of control. Candy and I were popping pills like crazy. It was like a big as party. Another cop came in and then Darnell left to let us do them. I guess he wanted to collect the funds and supervise the action. I don’t know how many cops came in and out the room before the night ended. All I did know was that we were fucking and sucking everything that either the room. After a few hours Darnell pulled me out the room and another girl went in. He took me upstairs and put me in the shower. He turned on the cold water to wake me up. I jumped up and screamed.

“Take a shower and stop all that fucking screaming.” He said as he closed the door behind him.

I sat there in the tub letting the water run all over me, all I could think about was what and why was I allowing him to do this to me. Every time the high wore off I sat thinking about how nasty and whorish I felt. I mean I saw the money but not the same money he saw and the only time I really enjoyed it was when it was with him. Why could I have listened and did something else with my life. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want this life anymore and too afraid to leave thinking he would catch me and kill me. I couldn’t really go to the police because I was fucking more than half of them. I didn’t know what to do or who to talk to. Plus, Darnell kept me high so much all that he didn’t give me I would get on my own. I was addicted to pills anything that would get me to my next high and when I was sober, I would smoke a joint or two until I could get that next fix.

After I got out of the shower, I found a pen a paper in the drawer and decided to sit and write Sasha a letter hoping she would find it in her heart to read this and understand that I am sorry for all the foolishness and how much I really needed her as a friend right now. This would be the longest letter ever, but I had to make it to the point I didn’t want Darnell to walk in a catch me writing her about this. I finished up this letter and put it in the invisible pocket of my purse so I could mail it tomorrow. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

The next morning, I asked Darnell to take me to see my mother, and I guess he was in a good mood because he didn’t argue or anything. He dropped me off and told me he would be back in an hour. Of course, I wouldn’t dare tell her what was going on because she would have a heart attack or something. So, when he pulled off and I could see he wasn’t in site I ran to the mail box to drop the letter inside.

I went inside to see if my mom was there because her car wasn’t in the driveway. No one was home so I wrote her a note letting her know how much I loved and appreciated her, and I would see her later. I called Darnell’s phone to tell him he could pick me up.

I sat on the porch smoking a joint thinking all of this was so degrading and I was addicted to all this extra different shit he was pushing into my body. I hardly even talked to my mother and I know she was worried about me. So, every chance I could get him to dropped me off over there I would go. Darnell knew my mother would do anything to get me away from him, so he didn’t always agree to me going to her house. When I did at least all her conversation was so short there was nothing too much to even say. He really monitored everything I did. The drugs I was on had me so gone I didn’t realize the changes my body was going through. I was always tired.

One day I guess my body said no more Darnell had to take me to the hospital. The drugs had taken a toll over me. He didn’t stay or even wait until I got checked in.

He just dropped me off at the door. Yes, I was hurt but maybe this was a sign that he was doing more harm than good to me and I needed this break down to leave him. The nurses saw that I was very limp, and they scroll me right into the back area. Just as the doctor was coming in my mother was walking in behind him. My vitals were bad, and they knew it was drug related so they called my mother. Believe it or not I was happy to see her.

“Baby are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah mom I am fine now that you are here.” I said lightly.

“Miss can you leave the room, I just have a few questions for your daughter?” The doctor asked.

As she left the door I began to cry because I already knew what those questions were, and I was very ashamed of the answers I had to give. I didn’t want her to know what I have been allowing Darnell to do to me.

“I see on the intake you have been very honest when answering the questions, this is why I asked you mother to leave.” He said.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked.

“Well Tracey first you are about six weeks pregnant, and if you want this child to survive you have to stop whatever combination of drugs you are taking. I know it’s easier said than done but think about the life you are carrying inside of you. Are you okay?” he asked.

“Pregnant, I use protection with…….” I started to say.

I couldn’t even finish my sentence because even though I thought I was being careful, sometimes I didn’t know what color the room was. I really didn’t know what to say or do for that matter.

“Tracey listen you do have options, are you in a safe place right now?” He asked.

“I just need time to think about all of this can you please excuse me?” I asked.

As the doctor left the room my mother walked back in.

“What’s wrong Tracey, can I get you anything?” She asked.

“Mom I’m pregnant and I don’t know what I am going to do, Darnell is going to be….” I started to state.

I had to cut the sentence short because I didn’t want her asking me a lot of extra questions. She had a very concerned look in her eyes.

“What has been going on? You don’t call me like you use to. You barely come by. What is happening? And now you afraid that because you are pregnant?” She asked.

“Mom, you wouldn’t understand, I can’t talk about this right now I have to get home, I will do better mom I promise.” I said as I put on my clothes.

Once I got dressed, I stormed out the hospital. The fresh air is just what I needed because I could hardly breathe. I was thinking the whole time what am I supposed to do? I knew Darnell would be angry; then again maybe this would slow him down. No more drugs I must get my life back if not for myself for my unborn child. The hospital wasn’t far from the house so I just walked home, just to give myself time to think of how I would tell him what was going on with me. When I got to the house I stormed upstairs and slammed the door. I knew there had to be people somewhere in this house there is always someone here. Just then Darnell came in behind me.

“What happened? What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“Darnell, I’m pregnant.” I said with tears in my eyes.

“What the fuck. I don’t know what you going to do but you better think of something.” He said.

“What do you mean; you have some part in this too. I can’t continue living like this.” I said.

“Listen Tracey, I have too much invested in you and if you think you just gone walk out because you pregnant you have another thing coming.” He went on to say.

“I am six weeks pregnant, I am tired of this life, and I am going to stay with my mother.” I said in a firm voice.

I didn’t know what to think or do at this point because he is so unpredictable, I didn’t know whether he would scream or slap the shit out of me.

“You think you can just walk out on me? I will kill you girl don’t play with me.” He said standing over me.

I got up from the bed and headed for the door.

“I can’t take this; I have another life to consider.” I said to him.

He grabbed me and pushed me to the bed, refusing to let me up. Every time I tried to get up, he’d push me back down. I mean he was really upset. He was punching me in the face and the stomach.

“I told you, you will never leave me, and I will kill you and that bastard inside you!” he said as he continued to hit me.

This wasn’t love this was pure torture and for the first time I fought back, I wanted to live not just for me but for my child. He was hitting me and tossing me across the room like a fucking rag doll. I tried running away but he caught me every time. My body had been beating up enough with all the bull shit I was pushing inside of me and this was just the icing on the cake. I thought this man loved me. I thought he cared after all the years we have been in the back and forth love hate relationship. If this is love, then I would rather have him hate my guts. Finally, I was able to knee his ass in the balls; while he was hunched over, I pushed his ass to the floor and kept running with all that I had left in me.

I felt so dizzy, like I was about to fall at any given moment. I wasted no time, not looking back to see if he was coming behind me, I just kept going. Finally, I had reached my mother’s door step. I couldn’t go any further I clasped, hitting my head on the door. I was too weak to open my eyes I could hear my mother’s screeching voice screaming for help.

“Somebody please help me, help my baby please” she screamed out.

Well a neighbor ended up calling the ambulance and my daughter was rushed to the hospital. All I could do is pray that god have mercy on her soul and help bring her through this. After a few hours what to me seemed like eternity the doctors came out to talk to me. I could see the look in his eyes that things were bad. Tracey had blood everywhere.

“Ma’am, I am sorry there was just too much blood…” the doctor tried to explain.

I then lost it. My daughter and grandchild gone in the same instance. I screamed for mercy, I screamed because I knew he had done this too her. I couldn’t let him finish. Just then Sasha ran in the hospital doors I haven’t seen her in years.

“Momma, what happened? Where is she?” Sasha asked with her eyes full of tears.

“She’s gone baby, their gone.” I explained to her.

Sasha began balling and we cried together, she continued to mumble I knew it momma, I knew it. We sat in the hospital in total disbelief and hurt. That’s when Sasha reached in her pocket and handed me a letter that Tracey had written her. My daughter is gone and died to hands of a man full of angry, bitterness and greed and the last thing I have my daughter saying is make him pay if I die. OH Lord what am I to do.

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About the Creator

Tasha

I am a mother of three with a story or two Or three to tell you. I am a licensed Cosmetologist of 9 years and writing has always been a passion. Just wait you’ll see..... Maybe I’ll share my story.

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