Timis and His Giant Dick

Timis and his giant dick.

Timis was the kingpin in his hometown of Sigal.

In the rat colonies, rats elevated in status according to the size of their dicks.

All though this ideology was dying out as the rat colonies evolved, Timis was oblivious to this due to his sheltered, silver-spoon lifestyle.

Once a week Timis would be carried on his back on a grand Pharaoh’s litter through the city walls with his giant dick in the air for all to see and admire.

As time went by, Timis’s men would have to aggressively prompt the residents out of their homes to ensure that everyone was there to idolise Timis and his giant dick.

The residents, tiresome of having to peel themselves away from their TV screens, to come and admire Timis and his giant dick was beginning to become and inconvenience, not only that but the residents worked very hard to keep their colony thriving, now with CCTV so prominent in the human realms, the rats were not able to steal from the humans as freely as they once use to.

But still, the residents were all forced to pay a percentage of their earnings each week towards Timis’s kingdom for him to lay on his back and be idolised.

The rats would roll their eyes, come out on to the streets and cheer and clap as Timis was carried through the streets of Sival with that giant dick of his in the air.

The town of Sival’s money was all engraved with Timis’s giant dick, which has led to unfortunate endings of humans if they were to accidentally come across such currency. For the residents of Sival could not risk their colony being exposed.

Some of the unfortunate humans that found out the about the colony that you may have heard of are;

-JFK (had a peace meeting with Timis, but had a way bigger dick so had to be eliminated)

-John Lennon (Yoko is one of them)

-Amelia Earhart (Flew over their nudist colony in the Pacific Ocean)

Bono is next on their list, he doesn’t know about the colony, they just fucking hate him.

From dusk to dawn once a week Timis would bask in the idolisation of the residents of Sival, blissfully unaware of the tension growing...

Years went by and tensions brewed, but the residents of Sival did not revolt, for they were too busy on the mortal’s phones they had stolen playing candy crush.

Instead, they grew resentful and bitter as Timi’s grew richer from endorsements and public appearances, Timis was everywhere now with the use of smart phones.

From soda cans to school openings, statues in various under ground sewers. You name there was a photo of Timi’s giant dick, and just when you thought you were safe.. BANG! Timis would send you a photo of his big dick!

But as his kingdom grew, his big dick began to shrivel with age.

Timis’s shrivelling dick was the talk of the town, that Halloween all the child rats of Sival begged their parents to dress up like Timis’s old, shrivelled, saggy, balding dick.

It was the equivalent to that year everyone here dressed up as Harley Quinn.

Timis was still blissfully unaware that he was now a laughingstock. No one uttered a work to him but waited until Timis was not in close range before laughing at the saggy skin trailing behind Timis like an old carrier bag.

Fairly quickly, the residents of Sival could no longer hold in their laughter as Timis was paraded around the streets, for now what was once a giant cock that everyone had to pretend to find attractive, despite their very ugly appearance they now pointed and laughed as Timis’s dick had shrivelled so much that it now dragged along the streets like a Russian wedding vale hoping to break the Guinness World Records.

Timis now, realising that he was no longer the kingpin he once thought he was, demanded to his minions that he be taken back to his layer at once!

Timis’s minions now nervous for what to tell Timis all stood with their heads down, trying not to burst out laughing like a child in trouble at school.

Timis, angrily dragged his saggy dick along the floor, pacing up and down looking at all his workers, looking for the weakest link.

“Fudgeson!!! Step forward at once!”

“Fudgeson, would you care to tell me what everyone was laughing at me for??” as he swung his purple scarf around his neck.

Fudgeson composed himself, and said “Well Sir, it seems your manhood is not the sharp rod it use to be, and the people are growing tired of having to “like” the photos of your dick you keep sending them Sir”

Timis, in disbelief stayed quiet for a minute...

“What are you trying to tell me Fudgeson?? That photos of my giant dick, aren’t flattering to people??”

Fudgeson, politely nodded.

“Sir, if I may interject??”

Timis looked down the line at one of his most trusted minions, Sallywink.

Timis said, yes, I want to hear from a woman, she’ll tell you that all the women swoon over my dick pics!! Tell them Sallywink!!”

Well sir, I know you grew up believing that your penis is the most beautiful masterpiece in all the lands and universe, and that women actually are flattered to see it, but that was a joke that started back in the ancient Roman times Sir”

Timis- “go on”

“Back in Ancient Rome, two brothers fought over a beautiful Pharaoh, and the other brother knocked her up, so as revenge the other brother told him that it was all the rage to go around the streets in a litter showing off his dick and send paintings to all the women of his dick”

“It’s actually one of the first trends that ever took off in history, and eventually just became a part of humanity, then the rats started stealing their phones and noticed that all these young men were sending photos of their dicks, and thought that this is what all the women and men desired so started doing the same”

“It was all a joke sir; everyone laughs at photos of dicks!”

Timis shook his head in disbelief, staggering backwards repeating “no, no, no??!”

“My whole life has been a lie!?” as he tripped and fell over his saggy dick, he lay on the floor crying into his dick, pulling it up like a scared child hiding under their blankets from the monsters under the bed.

There, Timis would lay for days, weeping and crying for he was not able to understand that his dick was not the centre of the universe.

As Timis rejected all foods and beverages, he slowly dwindled away, his once mighty dick was now nothing but an old flesh sleeping bag that really needed a wash.

Several days passed, and then one morning Timis maid, Gary walked in the room to find Timis had died.

Timis could not bare to live in a world where he knew that his dick was not appreciated and idolised, he would rather die.

Timis’s brother Pinkis, who lived in the neighbouring town of Gerbilville, was called on Skype and passed on the tragic news of his brothers passing.

Pinkis wasted no time in coming to Sival to break the news to the colony.

The residents of Sigal now had evolved and realised that it was dumb to idolise regular rats and pay them money to live in palaces around the lands for no reason.

So, with that, Timis was the last kingpin, God, king, monarch, cult-leader, whatever you want to name it and instead the colony all decided to only idolise their families and praise them for their achievements, because they were smart enough to know that idolising other rats for nothing, or their big dicks was total insanity.

The colony spoke to the mortals about the practical joke, they thought it was only fair that men also stopped embarrassing themselves. So, all the men agreed, it was gross.

Just like that, all humans stopped sending pictures of their gross little dicks to all women across the globe. Then, Just like that there was harmony on earth. Plants grew where they had not grown in years, pandas got out of their depression, stopped eating bamboo and instead started eating their real diet, of their babies (They’re viscous cannibals) all the koalas decided to go to their local health clinics and clear up their STI’s, famines ended, diseases were now a thing of the past.

So, if you ever feel the desire to send such a photo, just know that Timis would be proud, but everyone else is laughing at you.