This Just In: What They Don't tell You About Friends With Benefits...

Let me tell you something right now... YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. FALL. Period. You're going to lie to yourself and lie to your fwb partner, telling yourself you're down for what it is. You'll tell yourself you understand the terms. You'll beat yourself over the head with "we both can do whatever we want because we're not together."

This is especially the case if this is someone you spend a lot of time with, and your relationship grew into sex organically. If you didn't begin with the intention of just fucking this person and leaving, you're going to fall. It's as simple as that. It happens, its natural, and its life. How you choose to handle it is up to you. And, listen... when you do fall - because you will - be cautious and keep your heart guarded.

The fact of the matter is, you will want more. If that person is not on the same page as you, and you KNOW they aren't, keep your mouth shut. It's not worth it. Now, if you want to give that person an ultimatum - "I want more and if you don't I can't do this any more" - go for it. This ultimatum should never be with malicious though. It's truly for the best. If they're a good person, they will respect you and respect your decision, but you have to be willing to deal with what happens next. Put on your big guy or gal panties or drawers and prepare for their answer that could very well break your lil' heart. On the other hand, if you have fallen for this person and you know they aren't on the same page, its okay to keep your mouth shut because you want to keep them around. I would much rather keep what we have then lose them because it's my fault for believing I would never fall in the first place. Keep reading for the keys to making this work.

You might become an addict.

Another thing they don't tell you is your fwb will start to become your addiction. If you talk often and they are the only person you entertain sexually, they've got you and they've got you gooooood. When you don't speak, you find yourself like, 'why haven't they texted me yet?' 'I haven't talked to him/her in days.' You even find yourself getting annoyed when they're not available to see you that day... yep. it sucks! But remember, there's nothing you can really say or do because that's not your partner. They're not obligated to you, to speak to you, to see you, or to tell you their every move. They're just not... and the same is true for you.

You begin to wonder where they are or what they're doing all day. If you spend a lot of time together, you find yourself catching little "attitudes" or not so nice feelings when you see them on their phone or hear their phone go off, because you can't help yourself but to wonder who is that has their attention on the other end of that phone. Why do you care though? You signed up for "friends with benefits." This means, what they're doing on that phone and who they're talking to is none of your business... it just isn't. Disrespectful? Hmm... objective. But. This is the painful truth that will begin to gnaw at your sanity that no one tells you about.

But, here's what else they don't tell you.

The sex is fire.

Man, oh man. This is the reason you become obsessed with the semantics and formalities of your new "situationship." The sex is pure FIRE. Hardcore, nasty, hot steamy sex that you won't find at home, cause you're single... (unless you live with your "friend").

There's just something about hot sex with the a person that you can't call "mine" that leaves you wanting more. Maybe that's why people cheat? Anyway, the sex I had in my own personal experience with a fwb, was for lack of better words... euphoric. That's what they don't tell you. You uncover just how nasty you truly can be with the person sent to unlock your hottest fantasies. Your fwb - if they're the right one - will show you things in the bedroom you never even knew about your own self. Its hot as f***!

He made me cum more times than any one every has. He tasted me from the back, front, on the kitchen counter, outside in the backyard, and every where else in the house that would fit us both. He played with places I swore I would let no one touch or see, but me: places I didn't even know I liked. One time during sex with my fwb, I found myself on the brink of tears. Yes, it was that good. Threesomes, watching him sex someone else crazy, sex in the wildest places... Nothing was off limits for us and the things I thought were off limits, weren't.

They don't tell you that this toxic relationship will bring you the best sex you've had in your life. But the uncertainty, and false sense of partnership of it all contributes to what makes it so enticing. It's sort of like the chase, you know? Seeking out that person you have had your eye on before things get serious. Its truly a shitty, but exhilarating ride. 10/10 would recommend.

But this isn't for the faint of heart... nor the weak.

It's truly an experience, but you have to remember what I said in the beginning. If you can truly condition yourself to understand and remember the terms of which the "deal" was made, you'll be fine. However, the moment you begin to fall, you have to be prepared for the rollercoaster that lies ahead.

Keys to being a friend with benefits?

Words of advice: don't let yourself get too close. Especially if he or she is emotionally unavailable, keep yourself even more at arms length. Psychologically train yourself to love and care for them from a distance. Don't expect much. That person is just your friend and you do not want them to be responsible for your emotions or your heart just yet, until you're well aware you two are on the same page. Don't share too much, don't become too attached, and guard your heart! Until you are sure that person can and is willing to give you more, keep them at arms length. Keep your private business your private business. Only your PARTNER truly deserves all of you.

Enjoy that fire sex you two have, keep it fun, but don't complicate it with feelings because you knew what you were getting into... it just is what it is.