The Two Fs: The Keys to Vitality and Purpose

Our evolution is a fascinating one. From the atom, to an amoeba, to a complex, multi-faceted species, we have evolved with limited means and basic guiding principles. However it seems that the further along that we’ve passed on our genes, the more innovation crafts us gadgets, gizmos and convenience, the more we connect with a vastly growing planet, we seem to have deviated further and further from that which has allowed us to evolve and thrive as a species biologically.

Karl H Pribram initially coined the four fs of survival in the late 1950s. These four fs summed up the four most basic and primal desires of our species and most vertebrates for that matter. They are: fighting, fleeing, feeding and fornication. Some may consider fighting and fleeing as similar enough to include together but these are the fundamentals functions of our species. While it may be off putting to some and simply Freudian to think we are this simplistic as human beings, one also cannot deny that we are sometimes thrus into situations where we instinctively react or make decisions based on our most prominent and most primal needs; we are an evolutionary species that once roamed with many a organism that would have gladly feasted on us. To say that survival instinct still doesn’t exist within us or that we too do not act on feelings that are meant to protect us, guide us to safety and survive would be simply delusional. The advantages we have as a species include our ability to critically think, to rationalize, to be sentient, to build, develop communication, to survive off of a vast array of foods, to hunt and gather and to enjoy copulation not just for the sake of procreation, but for pleasure itself.

Fast forward to millions of years later, through the ice age, the renaissance, the industrial revolution (one of the worst things to happen to us and to the planet for a myriad of reasons) a few world wars and profound discoveries along the way, here we are, the latest installment of homo sapien. Yet in the latest year of our evolution, one can argue we are indeed going backwards. We are addicted to the likes of sugar, fast food, artificial sweeteners, people, feelings, relationships, blue light, cell phones and anxiety. We have all the answers to the most complex of questions and the unquestioned means to survive in harmony with each other and this planet yet we are fundamentally setting ourselves back individually. Of the problems that are most prominent to the individual, two that I believe coincide with two of the fs earlier mentioned are food and fornication. Or as I’d like to put them, food and fucking. We love both. Whether you blush reading this or not, I challenge you to deny that you don’t have a foodgasm when eating the burger or the donut or enjoy foodporn on your instagram with a side of emojis and a drizzle of hashtags. Let’s not forget while simultaneously watching a happy heaping of pornhub, raining Washingtons on a random pair of ass cheeks or swiping to your heart’s desire on tinder, grinder or whatever arbitrary quick fix dating app you can download., two of our most basic instincts are indeed two of the things that we as a species are getting fundamentally wrong. Our society has subscribed to a quick fix and do everything in the shortest amount of time mindset and we’re paying for it dearly

Obesity, hyperglycemia, erectile dysfunction, menopause, the list goes on and on with the side effects and consequences of a poorly nourished body. And with it comes an influx of quick fix workout programs, boot camps, detoxes, cleanses and diets to subscribe to and swear your absolute loyalty and dollar to. But what is lost in all of this is the first f in this equation, food. Simply getting back to eating wholly, mindfully, individualistically, seasonally and sustainably. Too often do I go to work and see heaping helpings of fast food, microwavable meals, donuts, chips, celebrations over gluttony, who can eat the worst, toasting to who can drink the worst, we have indeed become a society that eats on the most basic level and that’s the need for pleasure and flavor. We eat at our desks, we cram food in our mouths while driving, we eat on impulse or because we are bored, we make excuses that we don’t have time to learn or prepare meals for ourselves and we simply accept that we are doomed to eat what is there because we have no choice. It is because of this that guts bulge, blood sugar spikes, energy and vitality plummet, thinking and function are impaired and we are at our athletic worst; hardly something we can say our early ancestors did. And it is because of this that we inherit sickly bodies and that we like potency, drive, vitality and energy to fulfill the other f in this equation.

Fucking is fun, creative, spontaneous, esoteric, mysterious, animalistic, expressive and necessary for our happiness and our survival. We’ve literally been doing it since the beginning of time. But between expectation, societal inhibition, misinformation, failing bodies, shame, guilt and inability to just be grown up and talk about it, we too are failing at this. Our sexual energy is on that is instrumental in our own definition and is one of the freest and natural forms of our own personal expression. We were put on this planet to fuck and we have the absolute pleasure and ability to please ourselves, please each other and please the same or opposite sex. We are gifted the ability to make it an art form, to make it a dance, a ritual and know many varying levels of fetish and kink. But because of expectations of absolute monogamy, concessions for the sake of love, shame and ostricization around the subject, lack of data and education and stigmatization around sex work, porn and blushing faces, we cannot even do the thing that arguably makes us happiest right or we must go through means to surreptitiously express it. Who are we as a species if we cannot be free to express ourselves in a manner that is enjoyable and necessary to our survival?

While there are many different digressions and moving parts to this paradigm that I’m laying out, food and fucking are the keys to becoming our most vital, potent, satisfied and creative selves. When we are taken care of within our most basic needs, we are then able to delve into the other parts of ourselves, the other parts that indeed make us different from other species. Because we have a body that allows us to thrive and a sex life that only serves to luminate our spirit and our essence, we can then begin to ask questions about purpose, incentive , creativeness, spirituality, and who we fundamentally are and what we are meant to do. We can truly be happy by taking care of the most basic levels of our programming. This will be the foundation of my writing and my evolution, it can also be yours.