The fetlife abduction

So, my next post was supposed to be my prediction posts, but I found a news story that I decided was more important, especially females who are into BDSM. I didn't know about this until I typed fetlife into my browser. This needs to be talked about so let's get into it.

Before we get into the story I need to state that not everyone in the lifestyle is evil or bad. There are just fakes or posers who will come in and pretend or use the kinks and/or lifestyle for bad purposes. Kinks can turn into crime when we're not careful.

In 2017, fetlife and the lifestyle came into the spotlight because of the disappearance of a Chinese graduate student at the University of Illinois, her name is Yingying Zhang. Brendt Christensen attended an event advertised on fetlife called "Abduction 101" before he kidnapped Yingying. Unfortunately, this young lady was murdered. Brendt had fantasies about killing people prior to this even pretending to be a cop to do so. To be clear Yingying's murder and abduction was not part of a scene. It's not clear if both people went to the event or not.

These types of events are normally meant for the education of all in the lifestyle. They talk about everything from consent, negotiations, and how to do these types of scenes safely. The organizers never intended to teach people how to commit a crime, obviously but sadly it happens. It's hard to teach certain fetishes because there is a fine line between the crime and the fetish. The real differences are safety, intent and ending.

The abduction fetish ends at a safe place. It is done for the sole purpose of a thrill and getting the blood flowing. The crime of abduction ends in an unsafe place, and it is done for an evil purpose. It is so hard to negotiate this fetish because people can and will lie to you. They can tell you that you will be safe and taken to a certain place when that isn't the truth. I don't want to discourage anyone from doing their fetishes but in this case, air on the side of caution.

So how can we avoid this? One way is to follow your gut and intuition. If it doesn't seem right, then don't do it. Also, if they push your boundaries then don't be with this person. If they push or ignore your boundaries in one scene or situation, they will be more likely to do it again. You also got to know a person on some level before doing any scene with them.

There are people who don't want to do scenes or any kind of fetish, they want to do evil and mean things to others. This isn't the first time that fetlife has been tied to a crime. A Haverhill, New York man was charged with making and distributing child pornography. Authorities say an undercover FBI task force officer first came into contact with the man on FetLife. Also in Australia, a man who used the username “The Wolf” has denied charges he raped a woman in 2015 at a hotel after meeting her on the site.

Fetlife also removed several fetishes from their database. They did this allegedly so that the financial institutions (such as banks and credit card companies) wouldn't deny access to payment. While fet is free to join people pay to get perks. It is not uncommon for banks and credit card companies to deny access to certain things due to content.

I was thinking about more true crime posts. I want to help to help people to be safe.