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Sub/ slave training

by Lena Bailey 5 months ago in fetishes
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what is it?

There is some confusion about what Sub and slave training is. I even heard once person call it abuse which is false. So, what is it? How is it done? Let's get into it. I'll be using the word Dom, but it will go for a female or a male Dom. I will also be using the words sub and slave, but it goes for all bottom or sub types.

Let's start with a pet peeve of mine and probably a few other people. There're people out there that don't understand or know about a topic in the BDSM community, so they call or consider it abuse which confuses new people. We do not need to confuse new people about what abuse really is, they may fall victim to actual abuse. The person I talked to about why they thought sub training couldn't come up with a real reason as to why he thought it was abuse. He just kept saying it was a made-up concept to control people. Here's thing the whole dynamic between a top type and a bottom type is all about the consensual exchange of power and control. You can also argue that the whole lifestyle is a made-up concept. A lot of subs in the lifestyle want to please their Doms and sub training is a part of that or at least can be.

Now let's talk about what it is. Here's the thing, you can train any sub type. In the community sub or slave training is where the Dom will train the sub/ slave in how he wants certain things done. It could be something as simple as how they want their drinks brought to them or something more complex as that they want stuff set out for them and how it's done. Training could also be to learn new protocols. It could also be things the Dom requires in public too. Some Doms do have subtle stuff they want a sub to do in public.

Why do we train subs or any bottom types? All Doms are different so they will need and want different things from their sub or slave. They use training to teach their subs how to best serve them. Here's the thing, subs like serving their Doms so they will want to learn how to best serve them. The sub will get something out of it too. Doms should learn how to take care of their subs.

How and when does training happen? Training happens when a relationship starts. The Dom should train the sub one on one. The Dom may ask another trusted sub to help demonstrate kneeling and other things on occasion. It can be as easy as telling the sub your preferences and showing her what to do.

So why would people think that this is abuse? It's because people don't do their research. If they do their research and still think it's abuse, then that means they either found bad information or just don't understand it. People may also think that it's the same thing as breaking someone down which is a form of mental and emotional abuse.

The one thing that separates anything in the BDSM, kink or fetish community and abuse is consent. We consent and set boundaries when it comes to anything that is done in play, a relationship or sex. If we don't consent to something or it goes beyond our boundaries then it's abuse, rape or assault.

Please do your research and learn the difference between a BDSM concept and abuse. If you don't understand something learn from a trusted people. Also, just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it's abuse.


About the author

Lena Bailey

Lena is the writer's name of a 35-year older writer who specializes in advice and giving knowledge.

If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]

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