The evening Star

Everynight at midnight the purple clouds come out to play with the blushing sky. This was the image that guided my life. One I confronted boldly, without fear of what others would think of me. I was good and I knew it. I I was the Queen of the Night , Venus, a Goddess of Sexual Love, a maker of wisdom.

My name in Anna. My mentor Inanna, the Sumerian Goddess of Love, sensuality, procreation and war was worshipped for 2500 years way back in ancient times when women were revered before Hammurabi would change that in 550BCE. It was time for Inanna to return. This is my story.

I was 14 when my Uncle Cy, the handsome, fun loving , kind member of my Mazda family walked into my bedroom unannounced. Gently he sat beside me, turned down the covers and spread my legs. “Now Anna I am going to teach you about the life you will lead all your days. You are a girl. Soon to be a woman attractive to men. You must know how to handle their needs. Men are different than woman. They are attracted to beauty and your body as a refuge for short term feeling. Women are different. You are born nurturers, sensual and caring. The difference should be honored. It often isn’t. I want the best for you. And I will be your teacher”.

My uncle did not rape me. He took my hand and lowered it to my privates. He quided me in touch and said “you must become familiar with yourself”. Every day massage your private places.” Then he left the room and me to a mess of confusion. I did follow lesson one and over the year as my body grew and changed I secretly explored myself.

Uncle Cy occasionally smiled my way and asked how I was doing. I smiled back. Once I asked “why do we call you Cy?”. That is my nickname , short for Cyrus. I didn’t choose the name, my mother, student of history did. 2500 years ago King Cyrus led the Great Empire of Persia and when he conguered Babylon, he freed the Jews,captive for decades. She though this merciful ruler who believed In the truth and righteousness of one God and a day of judgement and heaven and hell was just right for her new son. And so I am Cyrus Mazda but just plain Cy, no King, to my family and friends.By the way Your Mazda family name is also special. Mazda was the God of Light, leader of the Zoroastrian believer in one God religion when many Gods dominated ancient culture. Anna, you are special”.

For my 16 th birthday,my parents took me to a weekend spa. Good food, horse riding, sunning by the pool and a surprise party with invited family and friends. It was August 3. The Feastday for Lydia, the first convert to Christianity who once hosted Apostle Paul in her home in Thyatrix. But I was not thinking of my Sundsy School lessons as we laughed and made merry . I concluded my day with my first honest to goodness massage. I loved my body and the ripples of massage pleasure.

While I was gone , my bedroom had been changed. There was a mural on the ceiling. A new full size mirror. A new luxurious feather bed covered with a sapphire blue comforter. ,a gift to my growing womanhood. Little did I know what that was to mean as I luxuriated in the new sensual feelings of comforts surrounding me.

And than a week after my birthday celebration my handsome athlectic Uncle Cy returned to my room. It was midnight when He woke me. “It is time” he said as he uncovered me and spread my legs.This time it wasn’t my hand he lowered but his hand. And as he fondled me a feeling of passion overcame me. Slowly easily he lowered his naked body toward Mine and entered my vagina that was bursting with desire and I knew I wanted to do this for ever and ever.

I opened my eyes and looked up and the purple ceiling spoke to me. Rather it was Cy that spoke. “You are to remember this night forever. The blackness of midnight is mysterious, The Bible ( we were a good Catholic Family) talks of Black as powerful in sin. But look at the Purple clouds. Purple is the color of royalty. It once was a rarity thst only Kings and Queens could afford. It combines the color of Heaven, sapphire blue with the energy and light of fire red. It symbolizes wisdom, dignity. Grandeur, trust and an air of mystery . On Your ceiling it is mixed with colors of sunrise, a new day breaking. Never forget you are royalty. And that this experience of sexuality is the thing God gives to us to give us pleasure and happiness. I will return again and again. To teach you the art of love msking. For now study your ceiling, think about the color purple and what the future holds for you as a woman. Will you be the Queen of the night, the evening star and the woman of purple?

And so I meditated. I researched the history of extraordinary women of ancient times when women were revered before men demeaned than. I thought of Lydia of Thystrix, known as the woman of purple because she was the agent of the rare purple dye suitable for royalty. And I learned about Empress Irene who was the first legitimate ruler in her own right whose independence was guelled in a revolt by men. And than I discovered the oldest known , goddess of love Inanna, always young , who boldly faced life without fear of the criticism she would receive as she brought knowledge and wisdom ,gifts of civilization Through sexual love. to a raucous society. She would become the morning star, the evening star The Queen of the night , Ishtar, Aphrodite , Venus , Bringing forth the meaning of life. In The month of August of my 16th birthday to become like Inanna became my ambition.

Uncle Cy was my teacher. He never abused me. Never raped me. Like Gilgamesh , In His search for the meaning of life, he taught me how nice and slow and easy brings a merging of the souls into an intimacy that cannot be abandoned. I learned the art of making love. And I knew in my heart that I was good at it.

When I was 18 , I started on my mission to transform men to feeling beings with new understanding of the meaning of life. There was a truck stop nearby. A knew that was a haven for prostitutes on the hussel. I did not intend to join That $30 an hour crowd. But I did intend to hussel the men they were after

I had luxurious silk v neck shirts made of purple. Donned with jeans I would sit at the coffee bar. Eventually I would be hustled by an overweight truck driver but when I said yes and asked to be paid upfront $300 the guy soon disappeared.

One evening a nice looking guy took my offer and we strolled to his big 18 wheeler. Once inside he stripped himself and slam bam thank you mame he was done. “Hold it “. I said. “Do you call thst love making? Is that how you treat your wife like a $30 whore?” He was taken back. “You paid $300 for me now let’s try again snd let me lead”. And so I guided him in new ways slow and easy until we began to see the light of morning rise. “I am the Queen of the night and the Morning Star. Purple is a color of heaven Sapphire Blue snd red the color of fire and light. Appreciate your sexual appetite and be kind to your wife.” I gave him my card.of a purple cloud over a blushing sky With my name SAEDI And left as Dawn was breaking.

For Three years SAEDi (slow and easy does it)worked the truck stop. I hoped I was bringing new understandings to men who were not necessarily searching as Gilgamesh for the meaning of life. I believe I helped them find new happiness in their own Romance. And than a special man found my heart and I became Anna again, A woman of the color purple.

Ellen Moyer

March 3, 2023

Venus