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The Appeal of Having Sex in a Public Place

My small survey of some pretty awesome ‘sex in public first timers’

By Chai SteevesPublished about a year ago 4 min read
The Appeal of Having Sex in a Public Place
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

Pick up any decent book or article discussing ways to spice up your sex life — having sex in a public place, or in a place where you risk being caught, is always high on the list. It’s not something I’m particularly experienced with, despite the seemingly universal appeal, so I decided to ask a few friends whether they had tried it and what it was that appealed to them. But also, whether they had any misgivings.

Example one — the quickie in the restaurant bathroom. This seemed a common one, coming up three times in the smallish sample of people I spoke with. The scenario tended to be a long, drawn-out dinner in a nice restaurant, with drinks flowing and conversation turning racy. For one couple they were reminiscing about past lovers. For another, they were talking about sexual fantasies they had. They would begin to fondle a little beneath the table and then, usually sometime after the main course, one of the two suggested a covert meeting in the washroom. The sex would be urgent. Always a little aware that someone could be knocking on the door at any second, a skirt would be pulled up, panties pushed aside, and the deed would be done.

Of the couples I spoke with who had done this, it was pretty much universally a good experience. They said it made them feel like kids again — needing that release so badly that they would have found any little discreet spot to get it. The sex, they said, was kind of mediocre, but make a million times better by the urgency of it. A caveat, however, of the three couples who had done this, one did it in a restaurant that was a regular hang out for them. They said that, while it was awesome in the moment, they feel a little sheepish going back. It was kind of funny. They said, “we felt so stealthy in that drunken moment. But I’m sure people saw us go off together and come back 10 minutes later, flush and laughing. They knew exactly what we were up to”.

It still feels pretty victimless. Sure, you are not supposed to have sex in a restaurant bathroom, but you aren’t harming anyone by doing so. And the thrill is so apparent — I love the idea of feeling you need it oh so badly.

Example 2 — the spa. This was my favourite. Two of the couples I spoke with had done the deed at a day spa. The setting was similar — a gorgeous, expansive, nature-ensconced spa with hot tubs, saunas, and steam rooms. They are replete in sexiness-full of people in little bathing suits sipping wine as they relax in the hot baths or get sweaty in the steam room.

The first couple’s experience was very sexy, but in a way like the restaurant experience, but in a much nicer setting. They had been in one of the hot tubs, had a couple of glasses of wine and were making out a little bit. And things heated up a bit, they wanted some privacy. This particular spa had some 2-person barrel saunas that seemed perfect for what they had in mind. Fortunately, one was open, so they ducked inside. Her bikini bottom was quickly pulled aside and 7 minutes in heaven. Ok, maybe closer to five — staff patrol those saunas pretty regularly.

Couple 2 took it to a whole other level. They were in a large steam room. There were at least 3 or 4 other people in there as well, but the steam was thick, and you couldn’t really see anyone else. You know where this is going. Initially, she reached into his swimsuit as they made out a bit. Their bodies were sweaty and slippery so you can imagine how good it felt to be rubbing up against one another. And then — to his surprise, he said — she was on his lap, bikini bottom pulled aside, taking him inside her. She grinded onto him for less than a minute, but it was amazing. Knowing all these people — right across the room — through that veil of steam. He said it was, easily, the fastest he had ever orgasmed. They said it was absolutely thrilling.

But what about the others in the steam room? While it was thrilling for them, is there an issue with other people, who have no idea someone is having sex across the room from them? I’m a little torn — as were they. They loved it at the moment but are a little uncomfortable with it in the cold light of day. Maybe it’s a one-off thing?

sexual wellness

About the Creator

Chai Steeves

I'm an eclectic guy - I like writing about sex, relationships, parenting, politics, celebrity trivia - the works. I'm happily married and a father of 2.

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