The 1st

I have an impatient attitude towards girls and relationships. I tell me people, my life isn’t a soap opera so don’t expect me to wait till next week to say what’s on my mind, and I don’t expect the girl to wait for the right moment to let me know what was on hers. When I see a girl I find attractive I tell her like it is, and if she wasn’t interested in me, I move ahead before feelings got involved. After all, I wasn’t asking her to marry me so making a decision to date shouldn’t be that difficult or need her to consult friends.

From the phone conversation we had I sensed she was interested. I only hoped she didn’t begin to build walls around her because I wasn’t ready to raise a finger to make them tumble. I don’t appreciate girls playing with red/green lights. We met that Saturday, had fun, and on Sunday she was in Stamford Bridge. Slow down…we didn’t have sex. We were in my bed gisting until I kissed her. With no permission I kissed her and she kissed back. Base one [check], Base two [check], Base three…[hold on, I’m a Virgin].

I had nothing against virgins. My surprise was because I had no idea she was one from the discussion we’ve had so far. I know it wasn’t written on the forehead, but I can’t possibly have her half naked less than 24 hours after our first date just to hear she was one. I retrospect about the past discussions we’ve had to see if she left signals…nope! She sensed I was distracted as my actions became passive and asked if I had anything against virgins. I had nothing against virgins EXCEPT the egocentric attitude displayed when they glorified their status. You know the saying, when all you got was a hammer you see every problem as a nail. Virgins were like that (hammer). Their virginity was made the sun in which their world evolved. I led her into my past experiences with virgins. If I call them and act all romantic they believe it was because I was yet to have sex with them. If I don’t call and act romantic they claim my sudden change in behaviour was because I wasn’t getting any. The most annoying part was when they used sex to motivate and say shit like, “I can’t wait to make love to you. Just be patient, one day you’ll enjoy all of me”.

She laughed it off, claiming she was different. I took that as a lie, we don’t laugh at lies. From that moment on I thought the relationship would take a different turn, more talk less action, but I was wrong. She was comfortable with us doing EVERYTHING except sex. The kissing became intense; the blow job paid off cause the head I gave was correct. I went a step further when I fingered her and she enjoyed it. She was moaning in ecstasy. I had fingered virgins before and getting the tip of my finger inside her pussy was difficult. Definitely impossible without her in pain but this babe didn’t feel that. I began to stimulate my finger as if it was a penis to fuck her and it went in and out with ease. I called it BRT lane. The only time she complained was about the incompetence of a finger and suggested I used two. Yea, two fingers disappeared into this girl’s pussy and appeared and she still claimed virgin. Days later we went a step further. This time, the deal was only the head of my dick could enter. According to her, we weren’t having sex. There was a round I was more than certain my dick was fully inside her but she still disregarded the notion of us having sex. She would say stuffs like, “I’m yet to have an orgasm ‘cause we were yet to have sex blah blah blah and how tight she was”. I nodded as an agreement to what she wanted me to believe. I got tired of acting once and told her she wasn’t a virgin and drama begun. I had never seen anyone in an attempt to be convincing. She earned her [first] Oscar performance when she said, “I’ll like us to go for a virginity test. It seems that would be the only way for you to believe I am a virgin”. A typical Ade would have jumped to have that experience but it wasn’t necessary. I decided to play along with the conception of her being a V. I would pretend not to have sex with her and she would pretend as well.

She called me after one of those days of…sex? She said she saw spots of blood on her panties. I was amazed. Finally, this girl found a way of putting me in the dark if she was a virgin or not. I was left to believe I might have mistakenly applied pressure on her hymen and it ruptured hours later. This babe was good and I was glad the whole virginity issue was settled. She called hours later that she was still a virgin. That the blood was from her clitoris [something like that]. That I might have injured her while my fingers were fucking her. I was like…damn! This babe had a free pass about this whole virginity ish and did a Torres by wasting the opportunity.

The day finally came, the day she told me to go all the way. In my mind, I was like; this is it. The moment of truth and blood. I knew what virgins could do to a clean bed spread but I was bothered because I was of the motion this girl wasn’t a V. My first thrust nothing happened. She began to tell me how painful it was. I wanted to laugh but held it back, I also wanted an Oscar performance. Second, third, fourth thrust…no blood. She looked surprised. “Just go for it at once, put everything in. Don’t worry about the pain I’m feeling." If only she knew my dick was close to feeling her ribs. I kept on going while she kept asking if blood was rushing out. I came first; she pushed me away and ran to my bathroom. She closed the door behind her and I could hear her writhe, saying something like “pain…below…abdomen…do u have…Panadol”.

I sensed this babe would continue with the act even after hearing cut getting caught. And that was when the real drama begun.

I had friends that disvirgined girls and one word to summarize their experiences was ‘bloody’. I remember one time my guy brought a player over for her debut and they left the room with blood all over the bed sheet. It was as if an animal had been slaughtered. He did the job and had to wash the bed spread alone which wasn’t a nice scene. Now, it was supposed to be my turn. My girlfriend who claimed she was a virgin ran into the bathroom after a round of sex. She didn’t bleed…she ran into the bathroom and closed the door. I didn’t know what was going on in there but I knew the last thing I wanted to see was blood all over my floor. I could hear she was in pain and requested for Panadol which I didn’t have. I suggested getting one at a store a minute from my house but she told me to be patient. She stepped out, no blood, just looking worried. She told me she was feeling pain above the left side of her abdomen and I must have really gone deep. I had to be caring, I had to block off the voice inside me asking why this supposed virgin girlfriend of mine didn’t bleed. I had read not all virgins bleed but this virgin wasn’t tight as well. The chic I wrote about in “Bitch You are Selfish” was way tighter even after countless matches. My thought was interrupted when she said my name.

She told me something I heard for the first time. She talked about reading up somewhere that a girl not disvirgined properly will NEVER enjoy sex. She linked that to the pain she was experiencing and I probably didn’t disvirgin her properly. She suggested we should go for a second round but this time I should hit the spot and she would bleed. I had nothing to lose and with what I had experienced within that last hour she also had nothing to lose. I wore my boot and about to get on the pitch when she suggested I fuck her against the wall. Let me rephrase that, “carry me and fuck me against the wall”. This was a girl that out to make me believe I disvirgined her minutes earlier and now wants the second time she supposedly had sex to be against the wall. At that rate the tenth time she had sex might be while scuba diving. I tried my best to lift her and take her to cloud nine but the shit wasn’t comfortable. I stopped and adopted conventional porn styles. After that round, I had to go one more just to make sure she was properly disvirgined. Despite the pin point accuracy of my penis I still wasn’t able to make her bleed but I went in with ease. With sex out of the way it was time to talk.

We were silent for a while until i asked why she didn’t bleed. I took that as a rhetorical question. A friend of had been in a similar situation and the girl confessed she lost her virginity the previous week. I hoped she did the same. This my babe stuck to the belief she was a virgin and I disvirgined her. I kept numb on that issue and talked about something else. She called me the next day and accused me of not being caring, that I should have called to ask how she was feeling. She began to frustrate me as she kept playing the ‘is it because you have disvirgined me’ card. I knew how dangerous it was if she deceived herself I was her first. One of my friends was once in such situation. Every time he had an argument with his girlfriend she said, “I curse you with the blood of my virginity I shed on your bed” despite he wasn’t her first. I wasn’t going to let that type of ish happen to me. I got fed up and told her the reasons for the sudden change in behaviour. I told her I always believed she wasn’t one and gave her an opportunity to be upfront, to confess. I gave her the evidence I had but left out the part of her pussy not being tight, that would be my Joker. The following day I did not hear from her. I received a call few days later from her mum.

Her mum told me she saw her daughter crying and she explained what had happened between us. She told me her daughter was indeed a virgin and she could defend her integrity anytime. She was disappointed why I claimed to love the daughter and not trust her. The fact was I never said I loved her but I didn’t tell the mum. The line cut off while she was talking and I called her back to keep hearing why her daughter’s past relationship never worked out because she deprive the boyfriend of sex. She also said her daughter requested to be taken to a doctor to know why she didn’t bleed. I was in a very uncomfortable situation. That was the first time a mother talked to me about having sex with her daughter. It wasn’t a call to insult me but to consider what her daughter said and hopefully make the relationship work. It was like she didn’t feel bad with me fucking her daughter.

The phone call did more harm than good. From that moment I knew the relationship had taken the wrong turn. I don’t mind girls telling their mums about their relationships but there should be no direct link between the mum and the boyfriend. It would only put more pressure on the guy. I made her understand I didn’t appreciate her mum calling me while she defended herself, saying her mum forced her to talk after seeing her in tears. She mentioned telling her mum not to call me but couldn’t explain how she got both my phone numbers. I began to drift away. I couldn’t stand a relationship whose foundation was built on a lie and parental pressure. I saw her days later, she wanted to know the deal between us. Like we were waiting for the first person to voice “it’s over”. While she kept voicing how heartless I was she mentioned she finally bled but didn’t want to tell me. That was almost a week after we had sex her hymen decided to break.

That was the final straw and I made her know I would rather believe in fairies than her virginity. I asked her to explain why she wasn’t tight but she avoided that like she didn’t hear. We were in a public place and she began to try stuffs to annoy me. She said she wanted to see me “EXPLODE”. I kept laughing because I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I’m sure [Any]would have told her her actions would only give me something to write about and guess what, it did.