Talk "Dirty" to Me...

SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE, THAT’S WHAT GIRLS ARE MADE OF……

You know that old rhyme, the one that reminds us as little girls to be sweet and be kind. To stay “good” no matter what. What happens though when you want to be more spice than sugar? More naughty than nice?

Dirty talk can be a liberating, freeing experience but it can also feel very strange and difficult to do. Before we even get into the nitty-gritty of this, make sure that you know this is something your partner would appreciate and get aroused by.

Not all men are into hearing their Sunday school teaching wife expound on the glorious feel of his cock while he's in her ass, however, to be fair, a lot of them would!

Talking dirty is only effective if the recipient is into it. If not, you’ll end up feeling foolish and hurt and not as open to trying it again with the same partner or someone new.

LET START BY LOOKING AT A SCENARIO:

You’re in bed with your partner when suddenly the most graphic, explicit requests start flowing from their mouth.

“Come on baby suck my cock. That’s right you dirty little girl, take it all in” or how about the ever classic “Oh my God, that pussy feels so fucking good. Damn baby, just look at what I do to you, you’re soaked.”

At least once in our lifetimes, we have run into “that guy” the one who is overly aggressive with his bed talk and it can be an instant turn-off. After all, what do we say to that?

Can you imagine if we answered truthfully with the thoughts that run through our head when we are not prepared to respond:

“I do believe I was already sucking it but now that you’ve called me a dirty girl my enthusiasm has skyrocketed and I will double my efforts. Thank you so much!”

“Now that I’ve heard from your lips what I feel like on the inside I’ll never again be the same. I really feel like I owe you cookies or some flowers or something because you have moved me so much that well, like you said, I flooded at the thought. Thank you”

These are the “Eminem’s” of the bedroom.

Free-flowing from brain to lips at supersonic speed. Although, let's be honest, if it was Eminem in my bed, well he could tell your Auntie any darn thing he wants!

A FORM OF FOREPLAY

Dirty talk is a form of foreplay. It can help get you both charged before and during the time you are together. For many women, saying something while naked with a partner can feel intimidating but sending a message or saying it on the phone can be kind of liberating and sexy!

It’s hard to let yourself be vulnerable which is where starting with texts or phone calls can really help!

Here is an example of you can start a conversation throughout the day and have him charged like a car on the track by the time he walks through the door:

I’m really looking forward to tonight. Can’t wait to see you…

You have no idea what you do to me. I get goosebumps just thinking of you.

I couldn’t help myself, started thinking about you coming home and I had to get off.

Tick tock…baby…only an hour left. I’m so wet right now. You’ve been on my mind and I can’t wait till you are on me…..

BUT…BUT…, I’M A “GOOD GIRL”….

Sadly our society has warped women into believe that only hookers, porn stars, and strippers talk dirty in the sack. Well ladies, listen to your Auntie B when I tell you, “Fuck what they think!”.

A woman can be both good and bad. Dirty and sweet. Women have the right to express themselves through touch, words, and physical acts. Sex is meant to be fun. It is meant to make us feel good and aware of being alive. Allowing yourself to freely express your thoughts doesn’t make you “dirty”. It is merely another tool in helping you enjoy all that being a responsible, sexual creature can provide.

LET’S GET IT STARTED IN HERE….

I’ll be honest, I am far more comfortable writing my partner than saying in the bedroom. I have found a glass of wine and some really sexy R & B though can loosen the bolts right off this tongue!

Here are 10 things you can modify or try out with your partner to help set the mood before the night even begins!

• I had a wet dream last night…guess who was in it? (You can snap a photo of a pair of panties and send it to him with this line.)
• My name is “……” and I’m an addict. Please come home early tonight so I can taste you and get my next hit.
• I want you so badly it hurts.
• If I came to your office wearing only a trench coat, what things would you do to me
• You have no idea what you do to me. I feel weak from your touch.
• Your fingers have magic in them. Every time you touch me, I am transported to another place.
• I can’t wait till you come home. I got off earlier just thinking about it.
• Tonight I want to be claimed. Put me on my knees and fuck me till I’m senseless.
• I’ve spent all day naked under my dress so I can touch myself whenever I think of you.
• I want to play a game tonight. It may or may not involve handcuffs, a blindfold and ice. You’ll find out when you get here….

FINAL THOUGHTS

My great-grandmother once told me a joke that has stuck with me for all these years. She said: ” A good girl says ‘it’s hard to be good, and a bad girl says ‘it’s got to be hard to be good!’ ” ….

Never forget that you, and you alone have the power to decide what feels good and what feels right when it comes to your body, thoughts, and desires. Society is not naked in your bed, your partner is! If you have always wanted to shake things up a little, then give it a go.

Not ready for a text or a phone call? Write out a fantasy of yours on a piece of notepaper and slip it in his coat pocket for him to find.

The main thing is to get creative and be brave, be bold. To quote the man at the top of my “Celebrities I would bang list” (Yes Eminem, I’m talking to you boo)

“You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime”….and if you really get into this and it works, you’ll find the opportunity cums as often you like!