Casanova, throughout his long and active life in and out of the feather beds of Europe, was especially fond of his golden balls. No, we’re not referencing his genitals, though he did probably hold them to a golden esteem. Even so great a lover as Casanova had to contend with the mundane technicalities of contraception, and the balls he cherished were solid gold and 18 mm in diameter. Working on the theory that if the seed did not come in contact with the egg there would be nothing to regret, he gingerly positioned one of these elegant obstacles (aka diaphragms) inside his breathless lady lover. In the bizarre history of Casanova, he is known to have fathered more than a handful of golden children, and his birth control methods, often referred to as contraceptive ingenuity, would seem to have been less than reliable. But at least it was long-lasting. One golden ball was reported to have been in regular use for more than 15 years. In terms of his initial investment amortized over his sustained sexual prowess, he certainly got his money's worth.
The late, great Nat King Cole sang a song years back called Haji Baba which put forth the following message:
The sexual adjustment and behavior patterns, often referred to as sexual personality, of human beings are probably more varied and divergent than almost any other aspect of their diversity. Scientific interest has hitherto centered either on abnormalities, which have been exhaustively studied in the form of case histories and anecdotes by psychiatrists and psychoanalysts, or a census-type data collected on large samples, "broken down," as the saying goes, by age and sex—Kinsey's work is an example of this type of approach. We learn from published data that Americans on the average have intercourse two to three times a week, but this kind of information is almost useless when it is realized that some people have intercourse once a month, while others have intercourse several times a night—the wife of the "Boston strangler" complained that her husband insisted on having intercourse something like 14 times a day! ("Complained" is the operative word—some women might have welcomed such dutiful attendance.)
American teenagers can carry a gun, defend this country, and vote for its president at the age of 18. How hard is it to extrapolate that their female friends can stream nude images, lesbian sex, and reverse cowgirl moves to entertain and delight those hardworking American boys.
Sigmund Freud was a famous neurologist, popularly known as the father of psychology. Thanks to his teachings in the late 1850s, people have spent thousands of dollars to sit on a couch and tell a complete stranger how they really feel about their mother – and why it strangely turns them on.
Out of all the experiences thus far in my life, marriage has been hands down, the most challenging. I know, I know, you would assume I would say parenting because I just love to complain about the crappy diapers, sleepless nights, and leftover fat that is motherhood, but no way Jose, marriage absolutely takes the “difficulty” cake. Don’t get me wrong, raising children (and good ones at that) is no easy task with them constantly testing our patience, kindness, and sanity, but there is one huge difference that makes it all worth it and that is unconditional love. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel the undeniable love from both of my children. Even after a slap on the wrist or a 10-minute time out, they are guaranteed to not only forgive me but hug, kiss, and love me mere moments later. Now for my husband, not so much. If only he would show affection minutes after I rip him a new asshole, then life would be just grand. Usually after a fight with my bitchy filthy-mouthed self, doors are slammed and names are called and if I’m really feeling feisty I’ll throw in a bullshit threat as a cherry on top. Then the pity party ensues, the sulking, and the pondering if this is what marriage is supposed to be like. It’s crazy how a few minutes of nasty word vomit can erase years of happiness.
Do women’s rights include the right to commit suicide? All of us concerned with the welfare of American women must answer no. We may hold different opinions on methods and ultimate goals, but we can all agree on one point: the movement must continue and it must flourish. However, if the fate of the Equal Rights Amendment in two Eastern states is any indication, the women’s movement is strangling itself with the rope of its own rhetoric. The November defeat of the amendment in New York and New Jersey will not be any more responsible for the death of the women’s rights than the smear tactics of its opponents were responsible for the negative votes. At most, these are contributing factors. If the women’s rights movement for equality dies, it will be a result of the leadership’s elitism and the consequent failure to concentrate on issues that are relevant to most women.
Divorce sucks, plain and simple. Like any loss in life, divorce is something no new couple likes to think about, consider, or even anticipate. Just imagine that at the start of your marriage you said, “I can’t wait to marry this man and then divorce him 10 years later.” Unfortunately, though, regardless of all the good years and celebrations, some marriages do not survive. While this is sad, sometimes the commitment between two people is better off broken than being forced together.