Switched

It’s weird that I’m nervous, right? We’re to be having dinner at an Italian restaurant. Ashley is late though. I fidget with the chianti bottle on the table.

“Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?”

I look up. The waiter is cute, with that same friendly smile that all servers seem to have. “Just tea for me, no lemon.”

He nodded, writing in his pad. “Do you know how late your date will be?”

I shake my head. “We were supposed to meet here at 7. I’m a little worried I’ve missed her. Is there anyone at the bar waiting for an Alex or Jay?”

“Is this a blind date?”

“It’s definitely blind, but not a date. It’s complicated.”

“I’ll go check with the hostess and be back with your drink.”

The truth is, this was the date that Alex planned for he and Ashley, but things are apparently starting to get serious. He wants my approval, which is apparently really a thing that we do now. So I’m here in his place, unsure if he even told her what was going on. And he’s hanging out with Caleb at home in my place.

“Look who I found!” The waiter was back with a blonde in tow. He gently placed my tea in front of me while Ashley sat, a glass of red wine in her hand.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” She looked stunning. Hair and makeup were perfect and the low cut, black dress made me feel even more under-dressed. “So I’m Ashley.”

“I’m Jay.”

The waiter cleared his throat. “Are you ready to order?”

We ordered. Fettuccine Alfredo for me, a Cobb salad for her. A bit stereotypical, perhaps, but I don’t say anything.

“So did Alex even tell you that I was coming instead of him?”

She laughed. “He did, but not until I was on my way. Why, exactly, am I on a date with you?”

How to answer that? I don’t want her to know she’s here to be judged. “Well, that was actually my fault. I’m seeing someone new and I wanted to get Alex’s opinion on him, so we switched dates.”

She nodded slowly. “So you have terrible taste in men?”

I chuckle. “I have excellent taste in men. I just believe all their lies too.”

“You know, I run a sort of singles group, if it doesn’t work out with your new guy.”

“Oh, that’s interesting! Tell me about it.”

“The group is called ‘Into the Light,’ and we meet up on Thursdays at my church.”

Red flag! Maybe it’s one of those progressive churches though? “I’ll keep that in mind if Caleb doesn’t get the okay.”

We sit in silence, mostly awkward, until the food comes.

“This looks delicious!” I say, digging my fork into the pasta.

She clears her throat and holds out her hand. “We should say grace. Would you like to lead?”

I gently put my fork down and shake my head slowly. This is uncomfortable. “I don’t think it would be appropriate, but you certainly can.” I take her hand and respectfully bow my head.

“Heavenly father, we thank you for this wonderful bounty placed before us. Please bless this meal to nourish our Earthly bodies,” her hand tightens around mine, “so we can continue to bring the homosexuals and other deviants into your shining light. Amen.”

I retract my now-shaking hand. “You know, I should go wash my hands before we eat too.” I get up and make my way back towards the bathrooms, right beside the kitchen. Since I’m out of her sight, I wait outside the bathroom door and wave over the waiter.

He looks at the bathroom door and back to me. “Is everything okay?”

“No. I need to get out of here now.” I fumble my credit card towards him. “Can you just run the check so I can leave?”

He nods and slips into the kitchen. After a moment, he comes back out with a paper for me to sign. “I’m guessing you don’t want to be seen on the way out?”

I nod. “Can you distract her while I leave?”

“That won’t be necessary. Follow me.” He leads me through the kitchen to the back door.

I ride home in mostly silence, just hearing the sounds of the city weaving in and out of the car window. Before I know it, I’m home.

I open the door to find Alex naked on the couch, as usual. Caleb, also naked, has his face buried in Alex’s crotch. “I’m home.”

Caleb jumps up and covers himself with one hand, wiping his mouth with the other. Alex seems to sprawl out more pointing straight up at the ceiling.

“Get out.” I stroll through the living room to my bedroom and slam the door behind me.