Submissive vs. Dominant

Submission is not the easiest thing to do for people such as me, a control freak, still I was willing to try. The hardest part for me was not doing what I was told, I can handle that, it was having to not take the lead. I get off on the simplest of things and being the boss is the best thing to me. I can almost orgasm from hearing myself tell someone what to do to please me. “Don’t Stop!” “Harder, faster!” and my favorite “Please baby please!” never tend to get old. My experience was short lived but still long enough to know that it was not for me. Which is weird since I am a people pleaser and in all honesty I definitely was turned on enough to try again. Now I’m curious to know if I could get out of my head that I don’t like it. The most important thing to me is the person who I’m being submissive for. Same as when I’m being dominant because I can’t take on that role with everyone. My first time as a sub , my partner knew exactly what he wanted for me to do and was assertive without being aggressive. I could have very easily made to feel ashamed or scared .

There’s many different levels to being Dom’s and Sub’s. There are multiple variations of sex ,kinks, such as Bondge and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadomasochism. In Domimant’s activities one person generally dominates the other, or has power over them. It is pretty common for sex and power to be linked in our culture today. For example romance novels often portray people being rescued from harm or swept away by someone powerful. Lots of people especially women fantasize about having the power of seduction, being so desirable they can’t be resisted. Both of those examples give an idea of how you can have dominance without giving orders. Most D’s want a Sub that is eager to please without having to be given instructions. Any kind of exchange of power during sex or fore play is considered dominance. The submissive person might serve the Dom food, or give them a massage. The Dom may even orders the Sub or restrain them or punish in some way.

DOMINANT ROLES

1. Being in full control. 2. Prioritizing their desires and choices. 3. Performing duties to their submissive partners. 4. Taking responsibilities. 5. Demanding compliance and obedience.

Submissives’ delight in submitting to their partner. Their joy comes from pleasing usually not from being dominated. The ideal definition of a submissive partner is the one who elevated their partner’s needs above theirs. As a sub you might not like the idea of being punished but you won’t resist it either. You accept that they have control over you.

SUBMISSIVE ROLES

1. Elevating the desires of the dominant above theirs. 2. Accepting being controlled. 3. Expressing the desire to please the dominant.

RULES OF DOMINANT- SUBMISSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

1.Honest Communication- Lay the groundwork. Discuss fundamentals. 2.Realistic Expectations- differentiate between fantasy and reality. 3.Health- You both must be emotionally and physically happy. 4.Enjoyable Rules- designed for the occasion per participants. 5.Patience- get to know, finesse. 6.Honesty- be clear about wants and don’ts 7.Humility- don’t boast, be humble. 8.Open Mindfulness- there is always room to learn. 9. Authenticity- having a humanitarian heart. 10.Sensitivity- thin line between caring and self righteous attitude.

Now after all this learning when I apply it to the past experience I feel like I am definitely ready to expand. Time to play and I have decided that I’m what you call a Switch. Switch play is where you switch roles obviously. I can relate to this depending on who my partner is. Have you decided? Is this something that you’ll try? Or have already tried? Do you know which side you are on?