Sub basics

So there's a lot of misconceptions about being a sub out there and there are a lot of people who want to be subs but don't know how. I have been a sub before I became a Dom leaning switch. Now I had heard a lot on both sides of the slash. I am here to maybe teach someone something they didn't know. For some this maybe a fresh perspective or a refresher course. Let's get one thing straight before we get started, I know everyone has different ideas as to what it means to be a sub. There are things that we all can agree on about different aspects of being a sub. I wanted to write about the misconceptions and the basics of being a sub that we can agree on.

I think the confusing part is what is a sub? Who are subs? Now the what is a sub question is totally different than the what does being a sub mean to you question. Subs can be anyone who desires to serve and/or give up control. There are some subs that just want to give up control and not serve. Then there's some people who want to give up a little bit of control and serve their Dom. Service and control is all about what you are comfortable with.

Service can mean something different to everyone. It can be anything you want it to be. To some people it maybe things like cleaning or cook, to others that could mean helping their Dom get ready, doing the shopping or serving their Dom a meal or drink. It all depends on the Dom and the sub. Some subs want to do everything for their Dom.

When it comes to control it's all about what the sub wants to give up. Good Doms will not take what your not will to give up. Some subs want to give up full control and some don't. Some Doms will try to take more but those are the bad Doms that don't need to be trusted. Some of the most common control areas are eye contact control, speech control, and having to ask permission to do certain things.

There is also confusion about sex. Sex isn't always a part of being a sub nor is it the only part of being a sub. Oral and anal also can be a part of being a sub but it shouldn't be the only focus. A lot of men will try to make sex the main focus of the dynamic whether they're the Dom or sub. I will not talk to a sub if it seems like oral, anal or sex is their main focus.

When it comes to mentorship you should not be learning from Doms if you're just a sub. When it comes to training (which we will talk about at a later date) you want to wait until you find a Dom you want to be in a relationship with. If you do this you can have the Dom train you to be do things that they want you to do and how they want you to do them. This is the point of training, to be a better sub for your Dom.

Young subs and new subs think this is just play time and fun. They may also think this is a joke. I am not saying this to say that this lifestyle is not fun, it can be but parts of this lifestyle should not be taken lightly. I think I will mention this topic in a few of my posts because this an important topic. Being a young sub or a new sub can be awesome but it should be a time of learning and taking this a little serious. I don't want to scare the new or young subs but if not done correctly this lifestyle can be dangerous. When people give you advice be nice and take it with a grain of salt because while there are people out there who know what they're talking about there's people who don't know anything. If you are rude or immature to people that will reflect poorly on you and will affect the quality of people you attract.

Watch how you talk to people and treat people because people will see and people also talk. How you treat and talk to people will affect the type of people you attract. If you're a immature or rude it will attract fakes or maybe even dangerous people. People don't understand this and so they treat and talk to people any way they want and most of the time it's not very nice. Karma is a bitch especially in this lifestyle, I've seen it and heard stories.

I will try to answer questions about being a sub. If you have any questions about being a sub my email ([email protected]) is open and I will answer all questions in a timely and polite manner. Please be nice in the email.