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Signs of a Woman’s Sexual Desire

How to tell when a woman wants you in her bed

Signs of a Woman’s Sexual Desire

I once met a man who made me feel so sexy that I could barely focus on anything other than the thought of getting close to him. He appeared in my life like a Dexter Storm to arouse in me a profound sense of love and endless sexual desire that touched me so deeply, the taste of his essence still lingers in my soul.

I wanted him more than I had ever wanted any other man.

What Does a Woman Really Want?

It is a question that has stonewalled the likes of Sigmund Freud to Mel Gibson. It has been the hot topic of countless books and articles, and no doubt caused untold hours of agonized ponderings in both men and women alike.

The truth is that a woman’s sexual desire may be dependent on the context, the individual, and the time and circumstances of her life and relationships. It may also be cultivated and strengthened over time and with maturity as she becomes more intimately aware of her body and self.

In short, every woman wants something different.

Did you know that sexual desire is one of the — if not the — strongest of human needs?

Clinical psychologist Dr. Rob Dobrenski reinforces the effects sexual desire has on the human psyche: “We tend to think of desire as an emotion — that is, arising from our mental status, akin to affection or anger or grief or surprise or ecstasy. But this is probably not the case. Many scientists and psychologists now believe that desire is, in fact, a bodily urge, more analogous to hunger or the blood’s need for oxygen”.

Need for oxygen.

Take a moment to think about that.

For anyone who has been maddeningly in love and driven to the edge of despair by an unquenchable desire for another, this notion doesn’t seem so far-fetched.

It’s a killer storm to endure, for sure.

But human sexuality is not simply a strong biological urge and emotional experience. The very nature of sexuality has a very real spiritual reality that can intimately return and connect you to your lifeforce energy or “Chi” — the sacred relationship between the human soul and the eternal Spirit.

“Sexuality and spirituality are two sides of the same coin of life.”

Dr. Paul Leon Masters

I mention the spiritual element in sexuality because there is a distinct difference between sexual desire born purely from surface-level physical attraction, and the exquisite sexual desire rooted in multi-layered love — the first type of desire is a lower-vibrational form that evokes a sexual urge or longing for sex, whereas the latter is the instinctual sexual yearning to attain and connect yourself to deep love through making love with your lover.

During the French Revolution, English poet William Blake composed a series of texts titled, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell where “he explores the contrary nature of reason and of energy.”

Blake, who was a natural-born rebellion against society’s traditional ideas concerning sex, was deeply influenced by his grand and mystical cosmic conception. It is said that Blake experienced mystical visions throughout his lifetime; a phenomenon that supported his desire to seek spiritual meaning within human sexuality.

William Blake said:

“Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained”.

Blake’s take on desire is apt as far as I’m concerned — If true sexual desire is a hard-wired emotional and physiological response that intricately links us to lifeforce energy while unlocking the door toward meaningful connection and higher-consciousness, it means very little if it can be subdued and watered down.

Woman’s Sexual Desire in Action

We have (mostly) come a long way from past notions on the subject of a woman’s sexual desire, which ran the gamut of women being insatiable, sex-hungry nymphomaniacs who sexually infringed upon …. erm … “innocent” and “naïve” men?

But deep down we all (again, mostly) know that that is a thwarted perception which may well have been founded by people who feel threatened and/or fearful of a woman’s true sexual nature and what it represents — things like:

Empowerment. Rejuvenation. Radiance. Connectedness. Nourishment — All of these and more as she becomes attuned, aware and insync with her sexy-self to stand powerfully beautiful and wise as time goes on.

Yes, there is a certain type of magic a woman carries when a man awakens her deepest sexual desires. She moves with a primal energy that grounds her to her heart, body and soul, and she embodies a distinct layer of unfurling feminine sexual energy as if the universe burns through her being.


You’ve got to appreciate her sweet mysteries.


Signs of a woman’s sexual desire and how it makes her feel may include:

The Scent of Sexuality

Strong sexual desire has a scent.

It’s so very animalistic of us.

Men can actually detect the smell of a sexually aroused woman. Not only is he able to sniff out her sexy-scent but he instinctively finds her heightened sexual energy more attractive and this increases his sexual motivation.

Damn, huh?

Here’s a little info on the human science behind scent from sexologist, Ellen Heed:

“We are attracted to one another on a subconscious level, as the result of biomechanical cues, including posture and the pheromones they give off — their sexual “scent” — that cause us to choose the mates we do.”

How a woman feels?

Well, not unlike a potent cocktail of walking hormones, really.

Dopamine. Serotonin. Norapenephrine. Oxytocin.

This lovely blend of neurochemicals releases in her brain whenever she encounters the someone to whom she is strongly attracted. The same is true when she allows her thoughts to drift on the utterly scandalous and erotic.

That is, the man (or woman) she most desires.

Excitement, sweet euphoria, unbridled passion.

Crazy Stuff.

Sexual connection and release are what she craves. So much so, that there will be moments when the intensity of her desire will reveal itself in the sexy-musky scent she naturally exudes.

A woman who is sexually attracted to you smells like she wants you.

The Look of Love

Dusty Springfield crooned about it in her above-mentioned titled song: “The look of love saying so much more than just words could every say”.

She was surely onto something.

University of Chicago researcher, Stephanie Cacioppo suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes after all. Apparently, where your mate focuses on you is the tell-tale sign between surface-level lust and love-based sexual desire.

“If the gaze is focused on the face, then love is possible, but if the gaze focuses more on the body, then the attraction is more sexual in nature. That automatic judgment can occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns.”

Prolonged eye contact is the best way to establish intimacy and one of the most obvious signs a woman wants to get dirty with you, and besides, it’s just sexy.

From the coy and flirty glances to the lover’s glare … to the erotic look in her eyes that awakens a man’s most darkly primitive nature….

Let’s face it, it’s difficult to not look at something you really, really like.

A woman who sexually desires a man can’t look away from him.

She doesn’t want to.

How a woman feels?

Like she wants to frolic in the pools of your eyes, baby.

[Insert wink here]

More than that, her sexuality is the expression of her desire, and the aspect of herself that she can access, manipulate, and enjoy — don’t break away from her sexy glare because the way a man looks back at a woman has the power to evoke her deepest longing for ecstatic, sexual expression and surrender.

You want to make that happen, yes?

If you’re a man and a woman is making prolonged eye contact with you, the hint should be clear: she desires you in the most sensual way and wants you in her bed.

The Feel of Sensuality

There is nothing simple about a woman’s sexual desire for a man. Not by a long shot. Once the flame ignites within, she detects it at a cellular level as it transforms and mutates through her being; changing and connecting her with more than just herself — all of life.

Sexual desire is the uncontrollable urge to be close to the object of your desire.

There is no mistaking a woman who yearns to merge herself entirely with a man; who longs to feel him move inside of her; to taste and open for him — her feelings will be obvious.

Relationship coach and sex expert, Carmel Jones says that sexual tension is the feeling that something sexual needs to happen to resolve the tension in the air between two people.

When desire is pure and natural between two people at a soulful level, it is like a magnetic and earthmoving force of love that draws them together, compelling the need to be close to each other all the time.

You just instinctively sense the deep connection.

How a woman feels?

  • Like she can feel you from the inside and wants you to find her there.
  • Like she needs you because she loves you.
  • Like she needs you to love, see and hold space for her.
  • Like she would become a swollen tease grinding toward a half-baked imitation of sexual release without you.
  • Like a fiery Love-Goddess — a feisty bitch and delicate Geisha with an insatiable hunger to get close up and personal.


William Blake said:

“Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained”.

Think about that.

Without deep-rooted desire, we are destined to live an ordinary life, really. It’s true that the depth of our desire is actually the difference between nothing, or more of the same, and manifestation and attainment — Including the mind-blowing realizations derived from the heat of a woman’s sexual desire.

Learning to be present with a woman’s sexuality requires deep listening and commitment on your part. It’s a conscious choice to allow, celebrate and support her beautifully wild sexual femininity. That, and realizing the healing powers that come with deep and conscious sexual union.

Now, can we get to the part where we make magic happen?


Thanks for your sexy time! If you enjoyed this article, please consider buying me a coffee:

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Kim Petersen
Kim Petersen
Read next: A Night at the Theatre
Kim Petersen

Author | Writer | Aussie | Woman | Beautiful Delusion | Soul & Spirituality | Love | Humor | Sensual People | It’s the Revolution, Baby! |

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