Sexting

As most people are aware, and I say most because some are not fantastic at it, communication is key to any relationship. If you find someone that you are able to communicate with, then the beginning stages of “chatting” are usually great. Ideally, the conversation would flow naturally and you wouldn’t have to ask all the typical interview type questions. Once two people feel comfortable in those initial conversations, they might start to branch out to the topic of sex. Now, depending on the couple, it could take a few hours, days, or weeks to get to this point, but when it does, that’s important. If you get to this stage, the comfortability has increased to discuss likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Be aware, this topic can be sensitive or uneasy for some.

If the individual you are chatting with is on the same page with their likes and dislikes or if the two of you feel you are open about options, you might move to the next step, sexting. This is a great way to know if the person is creative, able to communicate their wants and desires, or can engage in dirty talk. Many women get turned on, not just by pictures or porn, but also by reading and visualizing the act. So, sexting is essential.

On the flip-side, I am fully aware that some of you are extremely uncomfortable with sexting. If you are, why are you uncomfortable? It’s actually fun and helps relieve stress. Identifying these reasons might help determine how you can become more confident in yourself.

Alright, back to sexting. If it is a one-sided conversation, make sure the next time the other person takes lead. This is also a fun way to determine if one can handle a new lifestyle. For example, I was chatting with a guy who said that he likes to be more dominant. I’ve never been with anyone dominant, so I figured why not try. He started making commands and preferred I answer by saying, “Yes sir.” Now, I’m all for role-playing, but I realized I am not a submissive person, even in the role-playing world. As soon as he started making demands, I automatically wanted to be defiant and refuse. We quickly learned that we have different styles, so of course, it didn’t go much further than that. This was extremely helpful as I have been intrigued by the dominant lifestyle, but I realized I prefer the man taking charge, instead of being commanding. Yes, there is a difference.

Often times people don’t explore different types of situations until they are in a full-out relationship. By that point, someone might not be satisfied, which could lead to an unhappy relationship or worse, cheating if the communication is lacking. A relationship should never revolve solely around sex, but it is necessary. The act of sex itself is an important part of intimacy, but so are the acts leading up to it (i.e. sexting, cuddling, and kissing). Sexting is a good place to start when first chatting to see if you are compatible; however, it is also a great booster if you have been in a relationship for a while.

Putting the spice back in your sex life will automatically increase your intimacy as a couple and bring you closer together. Communication and discussing your desires brings you to a whole new level. As you can tell, I am an advocate for sexting, but you should only get to that stage if you can actually connect in other ways first. It’s okay to be selective on who sees that side of you. I’m not saying to go out and flaunt it with everyone, but be open enough to embrace the possibilities as you never know who might strike your fancy. Life is short, so enjoy what you have and you never know who or what will bring a smile or a little blush to your face!