Sex at 49

Last year I became a widow. I mourn the loss of my husband every single day. Some people may not believe that if they know that I started having sex again only 4 months after his passing, but it is true. He was the love of my life. But we hadn’t had sex in 10 years. Depression and other mental health diseases can be a bitch.

But this is not about that.

This is about how I met two great men and how I have a great sex life with both of them.

Yes, only 4 months after my husband passed, I could not control the desire to have sex again. Even though I remained loyal to my husband for the entirety of our marriage — sex or no sex — sex was always something I wanted. I masturbated a lot during our marriage. But that is not the same thing as an orgasm that comes from the things that people can do to you, for you, with you. It isn’t. So 4 months later, I made it my mission to get laid.

I didn’t find what I was looking for immediately. First I hooked up with a man I’d talked to in a city about 2 hours from where I lived. I got a hotel room. We met at a coffee shop. We talked nervously for about an hour. We left.

Talked some more by the cars. Finally, I said, “Are you ready?”

“I am. Are you?”

“Yes. Just do one thing for me.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Don’t fall for me.”

He laughed.

“I’m serious. This is just sex. It might be sex for a few times or just this once. But I’m not going to fall in love with you if you fall for me. I still love my husband.”

He nodded, serious now. I’d told him my circumstances. He knew I meant what I said.

We went to the hotel. Kissed. Got naked. It happened that fast. The sooner I get naked the sooner I relax. Still fully dressed and me naked on the bed. He went down on me. It was good. Not great but good. And he made me come very quickly. One of the best orgasms ever considering it was only medium good.

We had sex once. Tried again. He couldn’t stay hard. Oh well.

I felt glad to have gotten the first sexual experience out of the way. But somewhat disappointed. I forgot that not all men are amazing.

The next night I met with someone else. Someone local. Physically I wasn’t attracted to him but our chats had been hot. We’d met in person before. We’d had coffee. That night I was determined to get him into bed. It didn’t take much convincing. We had sex. And then for the next couple months we had sex a lot.

I gave him the same warning I gave the first guy. “Don’t fall for me.” This guy didn’t take me seriously. He did. I broke it off. Told him I couldn’t have sex with him anymore because he felt more for me than I did for him. He was nice, but it was just sex to me. I’ve only seen him around a couple times since.

But the big discoveries started happening when I meet T. This man…he knew sex. He had no desire to get into a relationship that was more than sex based (although we have — but as friends). He was kinky as fuck. He sent me a picture of his toys. Vibrators. Clit suckers. Magic wand. Floggers. Crops. A wooden paddle that simultaneously scared the shit out of me and instantly made me wet. A fuck drill. Yes, you read that right. And he promised to make me come more times than I could possibly imagine.

From the first time we met, I knew that I was going to fuck him a lot. And I have. For 4 months now.

Shortly after we’d had sex for the first time, he said, “You should meet J. You’d like him.”

“Why?”

“To have sex with him of course. Or maybe with both of us.”

“Both of you?”

“Sure. He loves to please as much as I do. You’d have fun.”

I thought about it. A few days later, I said, “Well, we could chat. See what happens.”

J. was very easy to talk to. We started off in a group chat on SnapChat. Talking to them both at the same time really turned me on. Then J. and I started chatting with just the two of us.

At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to meet him. I was seeing the local guy still and I thought maybe I was going to try a relationship with him (I won’t get into why I didn’t). But then I realized that the local guy was not what I wanted, told him I was done, and messaged J.

“I need to meet you. Soon.”

I thought T. was amazing. And he is. But I didn’t think there could be two men out there with that kind of awesomeness in bed. I was wrong.

J. came and met me at my house. I’d been talking to him long enough that I wasn’t worried about him being a serial killer. Just like T., he sat and talked with me until I was relaxed. And then we went to my room.

I’m not going into details. But J. — he brought it on. For 4 hours. 4 hours of licking, sucking, fingers, tongues, cock, toys, flogger (T. had not brought out the flogger the first time but J. couldn’t wait to use it on me). 4 hours of mind-blowing-I-never-want-this-to-end sex.

Now? I see them both. Whenever I can. And they know. Yes, they know. Because the three of us did get together. And that…well, that was the most amazing sex of my life! But individually they are stellar lovers.

At 49, I have realized that I can be as sexual as I want to be. I can have two lovers. Or more. I have a third (a local guy) that I’ve seen twice and have plans to see again. I’m open to sexual encounters with other men. With women (have had a threesome with J. and a friend of mine and slept with her once without the guys). I can have multiple orgasms. I can have anal sex. I can squirt!

At 49, I am more comfortable in my sexuality than I have ever been before in my life.