Playing with fire — the appeal and risks of an affair

Dreaming about having sex with someone else from time to time

It is quite natural that even women who are in a committed relationship dream of having sex with someone else from time to time. This thought does not always necessarily result in an affair or a fling. But should the sexual attraction be reciprocated by the object of desire, then this fantasy could then quite suddenly become reality. The question is whether it is worthwhile to enter into an affair and thus to risk the existing relationship?

What is the attraction of an affair?

Above all, the attraction of an affair with another person lies in the new and unknown. If it comes to a sexual relationship with another man, then this erotic spark is suddenly there again, which has faded in the long-term relationship, and suddenly everything is new and exciting again. The time with the lover, in addition to the sexual pleasure, is also a little time out from everyday life. For a few hours, the worries such as household, work and / or children disappear from the head and it is possible to fully surrender again to their own passion.

The risks of an affair

The problem, however, is that an affair does not always go undetected and, in the worst case, it can also mean the end of the relationship in that case. Once the partner finds out that his wife or girlfriend is cheating on him, this breach of faith will most likely hurt him badly. Even if the partner does not immediately demand separation, the relationship may suffer irrevocable damage and this is usually expressed in an extreme loss of trust of the partner and this can only be repaired with great difficulty.

But this is not the only danger that an affair brings with it. It can also happen that feelings suddenly creep into the relationship, which exists only on a purely sexual basis, and one of the two wants more from his lover than just a couple of secret hours together. Especially when both are in a relationship, this can get very complicated very quickly. Not an affair, but a relationship?

Can an affair turn into a relationship?

Even if the affair turns into a relationship, a partnership, this is often based on bad preconditions. Because with the end of the secrecy often also the attraction of the other goes out and the initial tingling quickly turns into boredom — especially when everyday life returns to the relationship and both partners no longer make so much effort to appear as attractive and appealing as possible for the other.

The affair outside a relationship

certainly there is also the possibility to have an affair and there without being in a relationship yourself. Maybe you have just ended a relationship or simply do not yet have the head for a solid partnership and / or simply enjoy your freedom and do not want to get involved in a relationship. But there is this one person with whom you like to be together and with whom you can have an incredible amount of fun…

Here the main attraction is to have someone with whom it is possible to live out sexuality and still maintain its own freedom. But this is only true if both are satisfied with this affair.

This also brings us to the risk: There is always the risk that one of the two will fall in love, while the other would rather continue the affair. In the worst case, the affair will end with a broken heart. So if the spark should ever fly, it is important to deal fairly with the other person and to keep the other person informed about one’s own feelings, because this is the only way to avoid unpleasant and painful situations.